so contagious
by JakeHarrisLover
Summary: To stop the girl he loves from going back to California Jake Harris marries her even though they've known each other for only weeks. Is it true love or a hormone driven mistake? and can she handle being the wife of a crab fisherman? DEADLIEST CATCH. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Onyx walked past the group of laughing guys and sat on the curb outside of the club. It was completely packed and way to intense for her. It was an eighteen and over club, but she had barely turned eighteen. All her friends were over 21 so they were allowed to drink and had been wasted for hours. Even if she was old enough to drink she wouldn't of anyway. It just wasn't her thing. The cold stung her face, and she buried her face in her Envy on the coast sweater. She couldn't believe how cold Monroe, Washington was. She was used to California where it was 65 at its coldest. She was nervous as she sat on the curb by herself. She felt like she was being watched. She turned her head and saw the group of guys she had walked past earlier looking at her. A tall black guy nudged a shorter white guy. He smiled as they made eye contact. She couldn't help but notice how cute he was. She turned around and pulled out her phone to check the time. 2:04 am. She had called the cab to take her back to her best friends' house more than forty minutes ago. Onyx was taking a year off before college and decided to stay with her best friend Jason who had graduated three years before for a couple months. Onyx had always gotten along with people older than her. She was just more mature than the kids her own age. Not to say she was boring it was quite the opposite. Everyone who met her thought she was witty and funny and more often than not she was the life of the party even though she was the only one who didn't take a sip of the bottles they brought and passed the joint without taking a hit first. She was also beautiful. Extraordinarily beautiful. Her mother was white and her father was Nigerian so she was blessed with smooth caramel skin. She had long black straight hair that trailed gently down her back. Her features were for lack of a better word...perfect. She was about 5'3 and a size zero. But she still had curves in all the right places. What surprised people most about her was that she didn't see what everyone else saw. The way she looked had never really mattered to her. She was more interested in being beautiful on the inside. Looks were temporary. Even so she didn't think she was pretty anyway, in fact she rarely looked in mirrors. She was tiny, but she was also a little ball of fire. She was barely 18 and she was already covering her body with as many tattoos as she could. She had full sleeves, both the tops of her feet, her right side between her bra and panty line, the back of her neck, and most recently she got a bow above the heel of each of her feet. She was planning on getting her back done as soon as possible. She wasn't big on piercings however, she had a small silver hoop in her right nostril and that was it. Her ears weren't even pierced.

Onyx felt someone behind her and her and her heart raced, it was a stupid choice to sit outside by her self. She looked around and saw the cute guy she had made eye contact with earlier. "Want some company?" He asked. He sat down beside her before she could even answer. He held out his hand, "hey I'm Jake" she held out her numb fingers and grasped his hand. "Onyx" she replied. Onyx couldn't help but feel nervous, Jake was gorgeous. He was much taller than her he looked about 5'9, but he was very slim. He had short brown hair that was covered by a beanie, and His smile was playful like he had just heard an amusing story. What was giving Onyx butterflies was his eyes. They were brown, just regular brown, but he had the kind of eyes people always said she had. Thinking eyes. Like there was something beautiful and mysterious going on behind them.  
"Why are you sitting out here in the cold by yourself?" He asked  
"Well it's not really my scene in there so I called a cab"  
He lit a cigarette and offered her one, she shook her head no and shifted her feet uncomfortably.  
"It's probably not safe to hang out outside by yourself. Especially for someone who looks like you" he said as he exhaled smoke.  
"Someone who looks like me?"  
"Yeah, someone who's gorgeous"  
Onyx laughed  
Jake shook his head, "that was kind of cheesy wasn't it?"  
"Only a little, but I bet this will sound pretty cheesy too, umm you look kind of familiar to me have we met before?"  
It was jakes turn to be shift uncomfortably  
"Well I'm a deckhand on my dad's boat so you've probably seen me on t.v. the show is called the deadliest catch"  
"Oh wow I have seen that"  
Jake laughed uncomfortably," yea its um cool I guess"  
"I thought you were cute on the show, I must've been crazy, because your a lot cuter in person"  
Jake gave Onyx that playful smile," I thought you were calling me ugly for a second. I was really hurt"  
Onyx's heart felt like it was banging out of her chest. She was sitting on a curb flirting with a guy she had just met who just happened to be a reality star. Onyx had experience with guys but she still got really nervous when she met someone new.  
"I don't name call, "Onyx laughed," Unless someone really deserves it"

An hour later Onyx's cab still hadn't got there and she was crossing her fingers it wouldn't be there for another hour. Jake and Onyx were getting along really well. The conversation flowed naturally and Onyx's nervousness disappeared. Jake put his arm around her and pulled her in closer. She could feel his heart beating against her back. Its rhythm matched hers perfectly. The conversation died and for a moment they just looked into each others eyes, then Jake slowly started to lean in for a kiss. He was millimeters away when Onyx whispered, "wait"  
"What?" He whispered back.  
"The anticipation is the best part"  
They were dangerously close together, and the moment felt suspended in time. Onyx could feel his heart beating faster. She could sense he wouldn't wait much longer and she was itching for her lips to meet his herself.  
Headlights blared and she jumped away from him. It was her cab, and it had just arrived at the worst possible time. She and Jake stood up and looked at each other, but they didn't kiss. The moment was gone.  
"Well I guess I better go" Onyx said quietly  
"Yea, this was fun"  
Onyx opened the car door and started to get inside.  
"Wait!" Jake exclaimed  
Onyx turned back to Jake.  
"Onyx I would really like to call you sometime."  
"Well call me then Jake."  
"Well um I don't have your number."  
Onyx cocked her head to the side and smiled, "you'll find a way"

Onyx got in the cab and rode away leaving Jake standing there motionless and confused. Jake stood motionless, his mind racing. What had she meant when she said, "you'll find a way". Obviously there was no way for him to find. He met her outside of a club, he had no idea where she was staying, and he only knew her first name. It was becoming clear to him that Onyx had just played him. Why though? What could she have gotten out of it? What bothered him most was how upset he was getting over it. He hadn't known her for more than a few hours, but she had more of an impact in a few hours than most girls made in weeks. She's just some random girl he told himself. Nothing special. The only reason you care so much right now is because you're buzzed. He bit his lip and lit another cigarette. I mean sure she was beautiful but there were other beautiful girls she wasn't so special. He laughed out loud as he thought it. There was no point lying to him self. She was special, and he was determined to find her again. Jake jumped as he felt someone clasp his shoulder. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?" his friend Jordan demanded.  
"What?.. Oh nothing. Let's go get more beer" Jake replied.  
They walked into the club and waited at the bartender to come take their order.  
"Hey boys, can I get you something?" The blond haired blue eyed bartender asked them. She leaned over the bar to reveal her already over exposed breasts. She gave Jake what she clearly thought was her most winning smile.  
Jake looked at her curiously, "um just two beers... Uh please." Jordan nudged Jake and winked as the waitress bent over to grab the beer. Jake rolled his eyes.  
The bartender stood back up and handed them their drinks. "Um thanks," Jake mumbled. He took a swig of his beer and dropped money on the counter. The bartender grabbed Jake's wrist as he turned to leave. "Hey aren't you going to ask what time I get off tonight?"  
Jake pulled his wrist out of her grasp "no I wasn't actually." Jake turned and made his way through the crowd, a disbelieving Jordan hurrying along behind him.  
"Dude what the fuck are you thinking!" Jordan demanded, "That broad wanted you so bad!"  
"Really? I didn't notice" Jake managed to say between swigs  
"Dude what is wrong with you tonight? First you chill outside with some girl for hours, then you don't even seal the deal, and when another girl throws herself at you, a hot girl at that you just completely blow her off! You just broke like every dude code ever written."  
"Jordan has anyone ever told you that you talk way to fucking much?"  
"Yea but what's that got to do with anything"  
Jake shook his head and continued through the club until he found the rest of their friends outside. For the next few hours his friends engaged in the usual topics. Jake found it hard to join in his mind kept wandering back to Onyx everything about her was so hypnotizing. Especially her eyes. He would have given anything to dive into those pools of mystery. He smiled at the thought of her wit and charm. He had never met anyone so beautiful but so genuine. Yea she's real genuine, he thought to himself, that's why she played you.

A few hours later he was finally on his way home. He blasted his stereo in an effort to block out his thoughts. He was relieved when he finally arrived home, he couldn't wait to collapse into his bed. He looked at his reflection in his bedroom mirror for a few moments before he started to undress. He pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and felt something slip beneath his fingers. He looked down to see a small neatly folded piece of paper in his hand. He slowly unfolded it to reveal a note in loopy handwriting. His heart raced and that playful smile of crept across his face as he read it. It said, hey crab boy, I think I have a crush on you. Stay sweet, Onyx and written beneath was her phone number. Jake couldn't believe it Onyx hadn't played him after all. He had no idea how she slipped that in his pocket without him noticing let alone how she wrote it, but he didn't care. Moments before he wanted to collapse into bed and now he felt like running. He put the note under his ashtray so he wouldn't lose it and laid down on his bed. He tried, but his smile just wouldn't disappear. He laid in bed and fantasized about Onyx nothing sexual just spending time with her. He wanted to call her right then but he didn't want to come off as a stalker. Suddenly he thought of something that did wipe his smile off his face. He knew deep down in his gut that this girl had what it took to make him fall for her, but he was a crab fisherman. Not only was it literally the deadliest job but he was gone for long stretches of time. Not to mention Onyx wasn't even from Washington she lived in California. So what was the point off even calling her? He could try and hook up with her, but he knew he that wouldn't be enough for him. He wanted her entirely, not just physically.


	2. chapter 2

Jake sat in his car outside of the Restaurant he was meeting Onyx at. It had taken Jake three days to finally get the courage to call Onyx. After a few awkward conversations over the phone and 2000+ texts they finally decided to hang out. It had been three weeks since then and they been spending all of their free time together. Jake however, had a bad feeling something was about to go wrong. When she called him earlier in the day to finalize plans she sounded distant and sad. He hoped he hadn't done something wrong. He racked his brain but he honestly had been on his best behavior. He hadn't tried to sleep with her even though he desperately wanted to, he hadn't been talking to any other girls, and he hadn't been drunk once since they started hanging out. He was acting like they were in a committed relationship, and committed was something Jake Harris had never been to anyone. he would pick up girls at bars, sleep with them, and then when they asked for his number he gave them his brother Josh's. Now he was acting like a completely different person and he couldn't understand why.  
Jake sighed and stepped out of the car. He leaned against the door and lit a cigarette while he waited for Onyx to show up. After a few minutes he heard the instantly recognizable sound of Onyx's stereo on full blast. He turned to see her singing along to whatever she was listening to. A smile crept across his face. He couldn't believe how adorable she was. Onyx saw Jake looking at her and she immediately stopped singing and tried to act casual. Jake's smile widened as he walked to Onyx's now parked car. He opened her door for her and felt his heartbeat quicken when he caught site of what she was wearing. She was wearing a black baby doll dress and black creepers. She looked gorgeous. Jake knew she wore creepers because they made her a little taller, but he personally liked how tiny she was. Being small himself it felt really good knowing he could protect her. He also liked the fact he could pick her up and throw her over his shoulder despite her many objections. Jake kissed her on the side of her head and entwined his fingers with hers. He led her to the restaurant and even remembered to pull her seat out for her.

"So how was your day?" Jake finally asked after a few awkward moments  
Onyx looked up from her menu and shrugged her shoulders,"ok I guess."  
She looked back down at her menu and sighed.  
Jake struggled to find something to say. There was something wrong with her and he was desperate to know what. Jake opened his mouth to speak but the arrival of the waitress broke the silence for him. After they placed their orders the waitress took their menus away. Jake was relieved that Onyx would at least have to look at him now that she didn't have a menu, but she immediately excused herself to the restroom. He was so frustrated "What the fuck!" He said aloud causing an unsuspecting waiter to jump.  
When Onyx returned Jake noticed her eyes were red and puffy. 'What the hell is she crying about?' He wondered. Jake cleared his throat,"Umm what's wrong?"  
Onyx shook her head and mumbled, "Nothing I'm just really hungry."  
"Onyx your not a very good liar, and it's obvious you've been crying so can you just spit it out?"  
Onyx jumped and gave Jake a stunned look. Her eyes slowly filled with tears. Jake was inwardly screaming at himself. He didn't mean to yell at her but he was worried that he'd upset her somehow and the sooner she came clean about what it was the sooner he could fix it.  
"I'm sorry Onyx I didn't mean to yell I just really want to know what's bothering you."  
A tear slid down her cheek and Jake immediately reached over the table and grabbed her hand. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. If whatever was bothering her was making her cry it must of been really bad.  
He could tell she was trying to gather her composure before she spoke but each second seemed to take minutes to pass.  
"I've been putting off telling you this because I love being here with you. You've made me happier in three weeks then anyone has ever made me my whole life but my mom can't pay for me to stay anymore and college starts soon so I have to go back to California."  
Jake's mind went blank he'd known this was coming but he'd been pushing it away every time it crept into his thoughts. He was hoping they'd have at least another month or two together.  
After a few moments he managed to spit out, "when?"  
Another tear slid down Onyx's cheek smearing her makeup and landing on her lip. "Two days." She mumbled.  
Jake raked his fingers through his hair knocking his beanie on the floor without realizing. He didn't know what to say. He felt like a little piece of him died right there. At that moment he realized he was in love with her, but he didn't tell her. What was the point of making himself look like an idiot when she wasn't going to stay either way. An surge of unjustified anger towards her engulfed him. She made him fall for her when she knew she was leaving. She had played a horrible game and he was the loser. Deep down he knew she hadn't really done anything wrong but the only thing that would make him feel better right now was being an asshole to her.  
"You know what Onyx I'm not very hungry anymore. I want to leave."  
Onyx's lip trembled slightly "Well the movie we're supposed doesn't start for two hours we've got a lot of free time."  
"I didn't just mean leave the restaurant I meant I want to go home."  
"Oh well... I" Onyx started to speak but Jake cut her off by telling the waitress to cancel their orders.  
Jake stood up and stormed out of the Restaurant, Onyx hurrying along behind him.  
"Jake wait!" She pleaded  
Jake ignored her and walked faster. Onyx stood on the curb with tears silently pouring down her face. Jake slammed his car door and raced out of the parking lot leaving Onyx with nothing but the sound of his screeching tires.

Onyx slowly walked to her car and once inside placed her head on the steering wheel and cried. She had never felt so broken before. She had known since the first time they hung out that she loved him. Before him she never took people seriously when they talked about love at first sight but Jake had changed everything. She had honestly believed that he had real feelings for her to but if he did wouldn't he have asked her to stay? She couldn't of anyway of course but that didn't mean she didn't want him to want her to stay. 'God you're so stupid!' She thought to herself, she had known from the beginning he was going to complicate everything but she continued to spend everyday with him anyway. Onyx started her car and drove in silence back to Jason's house.  
She opened the front door hoping she could slip into her room without having to stop and talk to Jason. No sooner than she closed the door did Jason emerge from his room. His warm smile slid off his face when he saw how swollen and red his best friends' eyes were.  
"Sweetie what's wrong?" Jason asked as he strode across the room and wrapped his arms around her.  
"Jake." She mumbled into his shoulder.  
"Oh god what happened?"  
Onyx told Jason everything that happened at the restaurant. Jason gasped and called Jake a jerk in all the right places.  
"I love him Jason I really do and now ill never see him again I won't even get to say goodbye."  
"I'm sorry honey I really am but both of you knew this was coming."  
Onyx pulled away and sat on the couch.  
Jason followed her and continued, "I mean even if you did stay he'd be leaving to go queen crab fishing in October anyway."  
She laughed for the first time in hours, "I think you mean king crab Jason."  
"Well whatever you know what I mean."  
"I don't care that he'd be leaving to fish he'd still come back! When I leave I won't be I'll be starting school."  
"Isn't his job super dangerous anyway you don't even know he'd come back."  
"What's wrong with you? How could you say something like that?"  
"I'm sorry I was trying to help Onyx."  
Jason reached his arms out to hug her but she stood up and strode quickly to her room slamming the door behind her. She pulled on some pajamas and Jake's favorite red hoodie and threw herself on the bed. Her nostrils were filled with Jakes signature aroma of cigarettes, cologne, and something warm and amazing she didn't recognize. Tears spilled onto the sleeves as she cried.

Jake sat inside of a rundown crowded bar with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He was starting to feel a sensation creep through him that he rarely felt. It was guilt. Part of him wanted to make it right but the other part of him, the unrational part of him that frequently got him yelled at by his dad wanted to pretend she didn't exist. He felt his phone vibrate and hoped it was Onyx. His heart sank when he was it was his brother Josh.  
He rubbed his eyes wearily and answered.  
"Hello?"  
"What the fuck dude! I told you to stop giving my number to random girls Ashlee is starting to get pissed! She thinks I'm cheating on her!"  
"Josh do you love Ashlee?"  
" Uh.. Jake what are you talking about?"  
" I said do you love her?"  
" Of course I love her. Why? Jake are you wasted?  
" No dude, but what would you do if she was leaving and you'd might not see her again?"  
"Well umm... I'd do or say anything to get her to stay. Jake what's wrong with you?"  
"Nothing dude! What do you mean by anything?"  
"I mean anything! What's wrong with you dude, do you have a girl or someth..."  
Jake hung up on Josh before he could finish his sentence.  
He placed his head in his hands focusing on what Josh had just said. He said he would be willing to say or do anything to get Ashlee to stay. Shouldn't he be willing to do the same if he really loved Onyx? He knew he definitely really did love her, now it was just a matter of him saying the right thing.

Jake placed some money on the counter and practically ran to his car. He went over different things to say in his head but found himself in front of Jason's house much to soon. Everything he thought of disappeared as he knocked on the door. Jason opened the door and gave Jake a smug look, "I wasn't expecting you to show up for at least another hour." Jake rolled his eyes, "Can I just talk to Onyx please?"  
"I suppose... Her door is the one on the right."  
Jake nodded and headed down the hall. When he reached the door to knock he felt momentarily paralyzed. Jason rolled his eyes and marched down the hall then proceeded to knock for him. "Thanks." mumbled Jake. "Anytime." Jason replied in an exasperated whisper and headed back to the living room. A few moments later Onyx opened the door and shock registered on her face as Jake smiled weakly at her. He felt hopeful when he saw she was wearing his hoodie.  
Onyx's eyebrows furrowed, "What do you want?"  
"Onyx I'm sorry."  
"You should be."  
"I shouldn't have yelled at you."  
"No you certainly shouldn't have."  
"I should have told you how I felt."  
Onyx hesitated,"... Yes you should have."  
"Onyx I love you."  
"What?"  
"I'm in love with you Onyx and I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you."  
"...Jake I love you too."  
The knot in Jake's chest loosened.  
"But its to late for us," She continued, the knot in Jake's chest tightened tenfold. "I'm going back home Jake."  
"Onyx please don't leave."  
Her eyes filled with tears for what felt like the millionth time that night, "Jake I have to. I have no money, no job, no permanent place to live, and school starts soon."  
Jake stood silently he didn't know what to say, everything she said was true.  
Finally in an almost helpless voice he said, "you have me."  
"I can't just throw my life away for a guy Jake, I mean I love you and right now you love me but what happens if you change your mind. Ill have nothing."  
"I promise that won't happen Onyx."  
"Jake your word isn't enough of a commitment I'm sorry."  
Jake felt defeated but then something crossed his mind that had never crossed his mind before. He stepped closer to her, "Well then marry me Onyx."  
Onyx's eyes widened, "Jake please don't joke like that."  
" I'm serious, marry me. That's what people are supposed to do when they love each other, and I can take care of you. I make enough money so that you won't need a job. I know you won't get to go to college but there are good schools around here and your family is in California but we can start our own family and I promise ill never stop loving you. Please please marry me. Ill do whatever it takes to make you say yes." Jake felt a little winded he had forgotten to breath.  
"Ok."  
Jake didn't dare get his hopes up,"ok what?"  
Onyx smiled,"Ok ill marry you!" Jakes playful smile that Onyx was so in love with was the last thing she saw before he picked her up and spun her around. He placed her gently back on the floor and kissed all over her face before her found her lips. He kissed her with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone. Tears pooled in Jakes eyes but he quickly wiped them away. He had never been so happy.

Onyx broke the kiss and walked over to the door and locked it. She grabbed his hand and led him over to her bed. Jake saw her hesitate for a moment but then she unzipped his sweater and pulled her shirt over her head. Revealing her petite, tattooed, but amazing body. Jake was beginning to feel nervous not because he wasn't confident about his skills in the bedroom, but because Onyx had told him when they first started seeing each other that she was still a virgin. Admittedly he had found it hard to believe but after hearing stories about how much of an asshole her ex boyfriend was he understood why she refused to sleep with him. Jake had taken more than one girls virginity but he had never really worried about how they felt or if it hurt them or not, but the thought of hurting Onyx made his stomach turn.  
"Wait," Jake said suddenly," We don't have to do this yet if you're not ready."  
Onyx raised an eyebrow," Jacob Harris turning down sex? From what I've been told that's unheard of."  
"Exactly Onyx I want your first time to be when your ready. I don't want you to feel like you have to just because you know I want to."  
"Jake I am ready, and I trust you."  
Onyx lent in and kissed him and his doubts faded as his body responded to her touch. He pulled his shirt off and the rest of their clothes followed. Jake gently laid her down and took a moment to take in how beautiful she was. He placed himself on top of her and kissed her gently. He could sense how nervous she was but he did his best not to rush into it. The last thing he wanted was her to regret it in the morning. "Are you sure your ready babe?" He wanted her to be 100% sure. She nodded and spread her legs giving him access to the most private part of her body, and for the first time in both of their lives they made love.  
Jake rolled off of her and pulled her close to him. "How do you feel? Are you ok?" He asked nervously.  
"I feel amazing." She replied weakly. Jake kissed the back of her head and soon they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Onyx woke up early the next morning but didn't open her eyes. She was scared that Jake proposing and making love to her had all been a dream. The disappointment of realizing it had all been her imagination wasn't something she was ready to face, but a particularly loud snore in her ear made her heart leap and let her know that it had all been real and Jake was still in bed with her. 'I can't believe I'm getting married!' She thought happily. Onyx rolled over to look at Jake his mouth was slightly open. She had to suppress a laugh he looked adorable. Jake slowly opened his eyes  
"Woah... Why are staring at me creeper?" Jake said sleepily  
Onyx buried her face in her pillow and told Jake to shut up.  
Jake pulled her closer to him and nestled his face into her neck. She couldn't help but giggle. He proceeded to mercilessly tickle her making tears of laughter stream down her face. She managed to push him away from her and flip him off.  
Jake smiled, "I love you too."  
"Mmmmhmmm so you say."  
Onyx wrapped a sheet around herself and walked across the room to the bathroom. Her reflection made her cringe slightly she was covered in hickies and she was positive Jake had left them there on purpose. Something she had realized when she first started seeing Jake was that he liked to mark his territory whether it be by simply putting his arm around her and smirking when another guy looked at her, getting in a guys face when he spoke to her, or in this case covering her in unsightly red marks for the whole world to see. Usually she wouldn't have tolerated this kind of behavior but she didn't mind it so much when it came from Jake. When she came out Jake was sitting on the edge of her bed in his boxers with a serious look on his face.  
"Babe what's wrong?" She began but Jake cut her off.  
"I think we should get married today."  
"today?"  
"Yes today we can go down to the courthouse it will only take like half an hour or something."  
Onyx froze whenever she imagined her wedding all of her friends and family were there, she was in a beautiful dress, and it was a lot longer than 'a half hour or something.'  
"Well Jake I kind of always wanted an actual wedding. You know with all the important people in my life there?"  
"The only two people that matters are me and you, nobody else needs to be there."  
Onyx still wasn't convinced "and besides" Jake continued, "If we get married now when you call your mom and tell her your not coming home you'll actually have a reason. Plus I go fishing soon and I definitely want to be married before then."  
Onyx stared at him blankly.  
"Well?" He asked  
"Oh my god I agreed to marry a crazy person."  
"Come on Onyx I'm serious."  
"Me to. Did you bang your head on my headboard or something?"  
"Onyx can you be serious please."  
Being asked to be serious by Jake of all people made her want burst out laughing but she somehow managed to control herself.  
Onyx definitely did not want to go get married at a courthouse. It was a little embarrassing but she was always one of the little girls who fantasized about their wedding day. 'What's more important the wedding or being with Jake?' She asked herself. Onyx knew the answer.  
"Ok fine let's go to the courthouse."  
Jake smiled and strode across the room and placed a kiss on her forehead.  
"I knew you'd think it was a good idea."

He quickly dressed and headed to his apartment to shower and get ready leaving Onyx to do the same. They decided to meet at the courthouse in a little over an hour.  
As she washed her hair she wondered if they were doing the right thing. Most people waited years to get married and they met less than a month ago. She thought about America's divorce rate and it scared her. The last thing she wanted was to be a statistic. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Whatever happened in the future would happen but today she was madly in love with this cocky, sarcastic, nicotine addicted, and slightly insensitive boy named Jacob Harris.

Jake stood in front of his closet unsure of what to wear. This was one of the first times he actually cared about what he looked like. He'd never needed to care before. Women flocked to him even when he was fresh off the boat and smelled like cod and herring. This was the biggest day of his entire life so far. He considered putting on a suit but he didn't think Onyx would take him seriously in it. In the end he decided on a new pair of jeans, converse, and a black and grey flannel. Jake gave himself a quick haircut and shaved his newly forming beard. He looked at his reflection and smiled, he cleaned up nice. Jake climbed into his car and drove to the courthouse. He had a foreign feeling in the pit of his stomach. 'What the hell is this?' He wondered. "Oh my god," he said aloud, "I have the fucking butterflies." He would never admit that of course, he had a reputation to keep.

He arrived a few minutes later and sat on the steps outside. He tapped his foot impatiently on the pavement as he waited for Onyx to arrive. Why was she always so late? Jake smiled when he realized he was tapping his foot just like his father did when he was impatient or frustrated. 'Oh god what would pops say if he knew what I was doing right now?' He wondered. Guaranteed he wouldn't believe it and guaranteed he would be pissed. An image of his father floated into his head, "Are you out of your mind? You can barely take care of yourself and now you're getting married!" Jake tried to clear his thoughts but soon the image of his dad was replaced by his brother, "You've got to be kidding me Jake! You're the most irresponsible person I know!" He rubbed his eyes with his palms he was definitely not looking forward to telling his family. Onyx pulled into the parking lot but didn't get out of the car. She looked deep in thought with an expression of unease on her face. Jake was starting to get worried but then she took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Jake stood up and smoothed his flannel out the closer she got the more breathless he felt. She had on a tight black dress, red heels, and matching red lipstick. Her hair was in big elegant curls. Jake smiled when he saw lipstick was the only makeup she was wearing. He had told her numerous times she was too beautiful to cover her face up with all those powders and creams girls wore. Jake reached out and grabbed her hand and led her inside the building.

They walked over to the counter where a bored looking elderly woman was delighted to see them. "What can I do for you today?" She asked politely.  
Jake felt slightly uncomfortable," Um we want to get married."  
"Wonderful!" The woman looked absolutely delighted, "First you need to fill out a marriage license and that should take about 30 to 40 minutes to process then You'll sign your marriage contracts and you'll be good to go." The woman looked at them expectantly.  
"Wait." Onyx finally spit out, "What do you mean marriage contract?"  
"Well its just the piece of paper that legally binds you to together."  
"Sweet!" Jake exclaimed, "This is going to be easier than I thought."  
Onyx cleared her throat," so that's it then? There isn't going to be vows or anything? Not even I do's?"  
The woman patted her hand, "No honey we don't generally do the fancy stuff here just the essentials."  
"Oh ok." Onyx couldn't have put her disappointment into words even if she tried. She was looking forward to at least saying a few vows, she had even thought of a few things to say on the way there. Jake pinching her lightly on her side brought her back to reality.  
He handed her a clipboard and led her over to the hard wooden chairs across the room. They filled out their paperwork in about five minutes then waited for it to process.  
Onyx sniffled a little as she struggled to fight back tears. The mixed emotions she was feeling felt suffocating. She'd never known before that it was possible to feel crippling disappointment and extreme happiness at once. Jake kissed her hand and flashed her a huge smile. He looked so happy, and he didn't seem to be feeling any disappointment at all. Onyx decided to suck it up for his sake. There was no point making a day that could be one of their happiest one of their worst. If he put his mind to it he could make today better than she ever dreamed and she knew that. Suddenly she felt ashamed of herself. Onyx should of been flattered Jake wanted to marry her right away. There were tons of women who would love to be in her position. She lent over and kissed him lightly on the neck," I love you Jacob."  
Onyx jumped as the elderly women called their names.  
"Well looks like your license has been approved! Let's get those contracts signed!"  
Jake leapt to his feet and dragged Onyx to the counter. Onyx slowly filled out her part of the contract she glanced over to see Jake racing through his. Onyx laughed "Nice handwriting you should be a doctor."  
Jake looked at her with an expression of mock shock on his face "I would yell at you, but since we're about to be married ill cut you some slack," He looked back at his paper, "this time." Onyx rolled her eyes and continued to fill out the sheet.  
A few minutes later they both slid the papers across the table to the woman.  
She quickly read them over before removing her glasses and smiling at them, " Well everything seems to be in order here I now pronounce you legally man and wife." Onyx was a little taken aback as the words rolled over her like waves. Jake picked her up and spun her around. He then placed a hand on either side of her face and kissed her. Onyx smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
"How does it feel to be Mrs. Harris?" Jake whispered  
"I'm not going to lie its pretty rad." She said as she pulled away from him. The old lady gave them some more paperwork for them to mail back in, gave them each a hug and sent them on their way.

On the way to Jason's house to get Onyx's clothes they sat in near silence. Each one reflecting on the days events. Finally Onyx burst out, "Oh my god I'm so fucking happy!"  
"Me too potty mouth." Jake replied, his voice full of laughter. Jake wound his fingers with Onyx's and squeezed gently. It blew his mind that yesterday he was on the verge of never seeing her again and today they were married. It was the most out of character thing he had ever done.

When they got inside Onyx screamed for Jason at the top of her lungs. Jason emerged after a minute or two from his bedroom dragging his feet and rubbing his eyes. It was clear he had been sleeping. "What are you yelling about?" He asked drowsily. He looked Onyx up and down she looked ecstatic. "And what are you so happy about." He gasped "oh my god you had sex didn't you!"  
Onyx laughed, "No! Well yes..." Jason's jaw dropped. "But that's now what I need to tell you!" Onyx quickly said before Jason could interrupt her.  
"Fine but I want details later. What else could you possibly be so excited about?"  
A wide grin spread across Onyx's face, "we got married!"  
Jason looked as if someone had punched him in the back of the head. He turned his gaze to Jake "She's kidding right?"  
Jake smiled and shook his head.  
"Oh my god!" Jason screamed startling Jake "How did this happen? I want full details now!" And with that he sat down on the couch expectantly. Onyx excitedly told Jason everything that had happened. Jake sat next to Onyx and drifted into his own thoughts. He was starting to feel nervous. He was going to have to change his life completely to accommodate a wife. He was going to have to change his bachelor pad into a love nest, learn to not be a flirt, drink and smoke less, and the list went on and on. Sure he had been unintentionally sober for the last couple weeks but old habits die hard.

After Onyx assured Jason they would still see plenty of each other she threw all her clothes into her suitcases. She gave Jake the sweetest look she could muster. Getting the hint Jake began carrying her suitcases to the car. As soon as Jake was out of earshot Jason rounded on Onyx "Aren't you freaking out?"  
"About what?"  
"Oh I don't know... Maybe about the fact every decision you make from now on he has to be involved in! Or that He's going to leave you all alone for months at a time? Or perhaps the fact that your mother is going to kill you when she finds out that you've been eighteen for a little over a month and your already married?"  
"I'm not worried at all. I'm in love and pretty freaking happy. Everything will work itself out."  
It was silent for a moment, Jason seemed unsure of what to say next.  
"Umm... Onyx" He stuttered, "Did.. You... Um tell Jake about your um problem?"  
Onyx's heart sank and she tried to avert Jason's gaze. "No I didn't."  
Jason gasped, "You can't keep something like that from him."  
"Well what do you expect me to say Jason? He wants a family I know he does he mentioned us starting one when he proposed. If I would have told him he might not have wanted to marry me."  
"This is serious Onyx you have to tell him."  
"Oh yea I can imagine how well that conversation would go. Umm hey Jake did I mention I have a condition that makes me incapable of carrying children? Oh I didn't mention that? It must have slipped my mind."  
"He's not going to be mad at you Onyx it's not your fault."  
"What's not her fault?" Jason and Onyx both jumped they hadn't noticed Jake re appear at the door.  
"Ummm it's not her fault that she could resist such a handsome man like you." Jason said quickly as he fluttered his eye lashes at Jake as obnoxiously as he could.  
Jake's only response was to raise a questioning eyebrow.  
Onyx grabbed Jakes hand "Well we better get going got lots of husband and wife stuff to do."  
Jason smiled and Jake waved goodbye uncomfortably as he was pulled out the front door and down the sidewalk. Jake pulled his hand away from her and threw his arm over her shoulder. "It really isn't your fault you know." Jake said smoothly.  
"Excuse me?"  
"I'm serious. I try to control it but I'm just too irresistible for my own good. It's both a blessing and a curse."  
Onyx snorted," Is it to soon to file for a divorce?"  
Jake picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Sorry kid you're stuck with me forever."


	4. Chapter 4

"This is the worst idea ever Jake."  
"Onyx your making way to big a deal of this pops and Josh are going to love you."  
It had been five days since Onyx and Jake had gotten married and things weren't going as smoothly as they had hoped. They were getting along great but nobody seemed to be happy for them. When Onyx called her mother she yelled at her so loudly and for so long Jake intervened and hung up on her. Jake spent the remainder of the day trying and failing to comfort his new wife. After witnessing the phone call between Onyx and her mom he was less than optimistic about calling his dad. When he called all Phil said was "You and your so called wife have two hours to get over here." Before he hung up. Jake would have been a bit more comfortable if his dad would have just yelled at him like usual. The forced calm in his voice made him much more nervous. He decided to put on a brave front for Onyx's sake. It was 45 minutes later and Jake and Onyx were sitting in traffic on the way to Phil's.  
"Jacob I. Do. Not. Want. To. Go."  
"To bad Onyx we are already in the car and we're almost halfway there, and besides I promise my family is going to love you."  
"I don't know Jake I seem to recall you telling me my mom was going to be 'extremely happy for us' and she was the exact opposite."  
"Yea well you didn't tell me your mom was crazy." Jake mumbled.  
Onyx scowled "I can't believe you picked me up and carried me all the way to the car. That was a bit much don't you think?"  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures and besides 'a bit much' was when you scratched me with those claws of yours."  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Onyx said mocking Jake.  
They glared at each other and then burst out laughing. Onyx leaned across the seat and kissed him on the cheek making Jake's signature playful smile creep across his face. "Onyx I promise it will be OK, just trust me OK babe?" She nodded and reached over and stroked his short hair. Within minutes she began to doze off.

When Onyx woke up she didn't immediately open her eyes. She realized that the car wasn't moving. "Ugh Jake are we still in traffic?"  
"Nope we're here" Jake replied. She quickly sat up and frantically started fixing her hair. Jake pulled the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the car. Onyx turned to do the same but instead jumped and screamed when she saw a tall, bearded, skinny, guy smiling at her through her car window. He resembled Jake so she assumed it was his older brother Josh. He opened the door for her and didn't try to hide how amused he was at scaring her. "Hey I'm Josh. Sorry I scared you. You must be my new sister in law." He said after his laughter subsided.  
She smiled shyly "Hi I'm onyx."  
"I wish I could say Jake told me a lot about you but even if he would have I would have assumed you were a figment of his imagination."  
Onyx laughed Josh was pretty funny.  
Jake wrapped his arm around Onyx's waist and flipped Josh off. Josh put his hands up in mock surrender.  
"Where's pops?" Jake asked. Onyx didn't have butterflies it felt more like there were boulders in her stomach. "He's inside working on one of his bird feeders."

They walked up the steps to Phil's meticulously clean trailer. Phil was sitting on the couch working on the most elaborate bird feeder Onyx had ever seen. Jake cleared his throat, "um pops this is my wife Onyx."  
Phil continued to put the last touch on a window pane before looking up at them. He didn't say anything but he slowly got to his feet. Phil was such a big intimidating man Onyx instinctively wanted to take a few steps back as he stepped closer to her. Phil reached out a hand and pinched Onyx's forearm lightly "Wow" Phil said in a voice that told her he had probably been smoking longer than she had been alive "You feel almost human, but you can't be real nobody in their right mind would marry Jake." Onyx and Josh both burst out laughing. Jake however rolled his eyes and said "Ha-ha very funny pops." Phil pulled Jake and Onyx into a hug and suddenly Onyx felt much more relaxed. It seemed she had misjudged a teddy bear for a grizzly bear. "Jake why don't you and Josh go chop up some wood for the fireplace in the back for me. I want to talk to my new daughter in law." Josh saluted and headed out the screen door, Jake hesitated momentarily before following. "Umm you have a fireplace in your trailer?" Onyx asked timidly. "Of course" Phil replied with a chuckle "I have to have the best."  
Phil sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him." She sat down and folded her hands in her lap her nerves were building up again. Phil lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply before addressing Onyx.  
"Did you marry Jacob because you saw him on TV?" Phil asked  
"What? No!" She replied a bit too loudly  
"Do you love my son?"  
"With all my heart."  
"Why?"  
"I... I guess because I didn't know what it was like to honestly be happy before I met him."  
Phil smiled, "Welcome to the family."

"Honestly Jake will you calm down? I'm sure everything is fine." Josh's voice was filled with laughter. Jake was pacing back and forth.  
"Dude what do you think he's saying to her?"  
"He's probably asking her how you tricked her into marrying you." Jake flipped his brother off once more. He wished he had some idea what his dad was saying to Onyx. He'd never brought home any girlfriends so he had no history to even make a guess. Jake was about to go back inside to investigate when Onyx poked her head out the door, "Jake guess what! Phil is going to let me help him with his bird feeder!" She flashed Jake a grin and went back inside. Jake turned and raised his eyebrows at Josh who shrugged his shoulders.  
"Dude dad doesn't let anyone touch his bird feeders" Josh said amazed.

The four of them spent the rest of the day talking and joking in Phil's small but ridiculously comfortable trailer. Phil even made them his famous crab stuffed mushrooms for dinner. The conversation soon turned to fishing as all conversations do when you're having them with fishermen. "I have a really good feeling about this king crab season." Phil said as he exhaled smoke from what had to be his 20th cigarette since they arrived and knocked lightly on the wooden table. "Yea me too pops." Jake agreed.  
"You guys will only be married for what? A month when we leave? That's going to be tough isn't it?" Josh asked.  
Onyx looked down at her plate Jake leaving to risk his life on the Bering Sea was something she had been trying not to think about. Jake nodded and cleared his throat uncomfortably.  
Josh's face suddenly broke into a wide smile.  
"Dad she can come with us she can be our cook!"  
Jake cut in before Phil had a chance to respond "Josh you know Pops would never go for that."  
There was no point getting his hopes up he knew how this conversation was going to end. Onyx however had her fingers crossed underneath the table. Phil took a drag off of his cigarette apparently deep in thought. After a few moments he looked at Onyx. "Can you cook?" He asked.  
"Y...Yes," She stuttered " My grandpa is a chef and he's taught me a lot."  
"Yea she's cooked me dinner every night this week and it's all been delicious" Jake added.  
"The best part is you wouldn't have to listen to me and Jake fight over whose cook night it is." Josh said excitedly.  
Onyx's fingers were crossed so tightly it hurt.  
After what seemed like centuries Phil opened his mouth to speak, "I'll give you one chance. I mean it just one. You mess up and I'll send you right back home even if you are my daughter in law."  
"Pops are you serious?" Jake asked in wonder.  
Phil gave Jake a look that clearly said he wasn't going to repeat himself. Jake hugged his dad and bumped fists with Josh before kissing Onyx. "I won't let you down Phil I promise" Onyx said breathlessly. Jake was so excited he had been dreading leaving Onyx and now she was coming with him. A thought crept into Jakes mind wiping the smile off of his face. 'Oh my god I just volunteered to put my wife in the most dangerous situation of her life.'


	5. Chapter 5

please please review :)  
i would really appreciate the feedback

Jake stared out of his airplane window deep in thought. He and Onyx were on a flight from Washington to Anchorage, Alaska to start getting ready for King crab season. Initially Jake had been excited when Josh suggested Onyx come fishing with them but he had never expected his dad to agree. When Phil did agree he immediately was torn between wanting to spend as much time with his wife as possible and wanting to keep her safe. He had tried to change Onyx's mind but she was so excited that everything he said seemed to just bounce off of her. In the end he gave up and continued to struggle inwardly. Jake glanced over at Onyx who was sleeping peacefully. He didn't understand how she could possibly be able to sleep so easily when his mind had been restless with worry for almost a month. 'She wouldn't be so relaxed if she knew what was in store for her' he thought miserably.  
A few hours later they landed in Anchorage and Jake hadn't seen Onyx this excited since he'd proposed. He smiled in spite of himself as Onyx practically ran to the rental car. He slowly followed her and got in but hesitated before he started the car. "We haven't left the airport yet its not to late to for you to go back."  
"Jake I'm not going to change my mind." Onyx shot back. Her voice filled with exasperation.  
"Onyx you don't know what you're getting in to! We're not fishing on some lake somewhere! This is the Bering Sea! We could go down at anytime. What happens if something happens and I can't protect you? We're fighting for our lives every day out there."  
"Jake stop being so dramatic. I'm going."  
"I'm not being dramatic. You need to take this seriously."  
"Jake I'm taking this seriously I really am. I promise. It's not like I'll even be outside. Ill even wear floaties in the galley if you want me to."  
Jake sighed in frustration "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"  
Onyx winked at him and turned on the radio. "How long till we get to Unalaska?"  
"Why don't you just sit back and enjoy the ride." Jake said irritably.  
They didn't speak most of the drive the only noise came from the radio. Jake didn't trust himself to speak there were a million things he wanted to yell at her to convince her go home but he knew she was too stubborn to listen anyway. Jake hated how stubborn she was but he would be lying if he said he didn't love it just as much.

Once they arrived Jake drove straight to the local bar where he was sure the Cornelia Marie crew would be as well as the other crews. Jake grabbed Onyx's hand and led her toward the entrance. He stopped suddenly causing Onyx to walk into him. "Onyx I don't want you talking to anyone unless they're from the Marie or someone I know. If I'm not around ask Josh or Pops if whoever it is is OK."  
"Jake what the hell are you talking about?"  
"I don't want a bunch of random ass dudes coming up talking to you."  
"You're joking right?"  
"No why would I be joking? Guys always come up and try to flirt with you and you always act naive about it. I don't need the guys talking a bunch of shit about how I can't control my girl."  
"Jake I'm your wife not your property! If someone comes up and talks to me I'm not going to flirt with them but I'm not going to be a bitch either!"  
Jake rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand to continue leading her inside. She yanked her hand away from him and folded her arms.  
"Whatever." Jake mumbled as they walked over to Josh and their fellow crew member Ryan. Jake bumped fists with each of them before stealing Josh's beer. Ryan held out his hand to Onyx "Hey I'm Ryan I work on the Cornelia Marie too. You must be Jake's wife."  
Onyx shot a dirty look at Jake, "Am I allowed to shake his hand?" She asked sarcastically. "Yes you may." He shot back just as sarcastically. Onyx reached out and shook a very confused looking Ryan's hand. Josh raised his eyebrows at Jake. Jake gave him a look that clearly said 'I don't want to talk about it.'  
After a few tense minutes Onyx asked where Phil was. Josh pointed him out and she strode quickly toward him.  
Josh rounded on Jake "What the hell was that about?"  
"Yea dude there was some real intense vibes coming from you two." Ryan chimed in.  
Jake sat down on an open stool next to Ryan. "I don't know dude she started being all pissy when we got here."  
Josh knew his brother far to well to believe she just started acting pissy for no reason. Jake could piss people off better than anybody he knew.  
"What did you say to her?"  
Jake told them everything he said outside.  
"You're screwed dude chicks don't like it when they think your bossing them around for some reason." Ryan said shaking his head.  
Jake merely shrugged his shoulders.  
"Jake stop being stubborn and apologize to her. She's not some random girl she's your wife and its way to early in your marriage for you to be fighting over dumb shit like this."

Onyx tapped Phil on the shoulder. He turned around angrily but his face softened when he saw who it was. "Hey kiddo." He said as he hugged her. He gestured toward the empty stool next to him and she sat down. "Woah woah woah no girls at the Captains' table Phil!" Andy Hillstrand yelled jokingly from across the table. "At least not without proper introductions." His brother Johnathon added with a smile. Phil chuckled,"This is my daughter in law Onyx."  
"What?" Most of the table said in unison.  
"I didn't know Josh was married!" Sig Hansen said, his voice riddled with shock.  
"Well actually I'm married to Jake." Onyx said quietly.  
"You married the kid?" Johnathon said loudly.  
"I never would have guessed Jake would be the first one married." Andy added.  
Onyx shrugged her shoulders," Josh isn't a big enough know it all for my taste."  
The captains laughed and Andy declared she was welcome to stay at their table. They all introduced themselves and Onyx found that she was very fond of the group of captains. She had never seen so much personality at one table. Onyx sipped her Pepsi and was starting to fade out of the conversation. She had an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach and she knew she it was because she and Jake weren't on good terms. Although she felt she didn't do anything wrong she was willing to apologize to him just to make everything ok. She excused herself causing many objections from the table but she assured them she would be back. Onyx stood up and walked directly into her husband. For a moment she considered being bitchy to him a little longer but when she looked into his eyes she knew she couldn't.  
"Onyx I'm sorry." He mumbled  
"For?"  
"For not supporting you about wanting to come with me out here. Its not that I don't want you here you being here is a dream come true. I just wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you, and I'm sorry for everything I said outside. I only said that stuff because you're beautiful and I know everyone else thinks so too. I just don't want you to realize that there are better guys than me out there."  
Onyx was taken aback she knew he would apologize for his behavior outside of the bar but she didn't think he would be so serious about it. She also wasn't expecting him to apologize for his lack of enthusiasm about her coming with him. She had decided to just accept him wanting her to stay home and ignore it weeks ago.  
Jake looked slightly embarrassed he was a typical guy when it came to expressing his feelings. He preferred to avoid it. "How did I get so lucky?" Onyx asked. Jake shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably. Onyx wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him. Josh wolf whistled from across the bar. Jake flipped him off without pulling away from Onyx. "Alright alright knock it off before I throw up!" Edgar Hansen Sig's younger brother said before pretending to dry heave. Edgar took a swig of his beer and leaned in to Johnathon,"How the hell did that kid land a girl like that?"  
Jonathon laughed, "Beats me Ed. She does seem kind of out of his league."  
"Yea but I'd say she's right in mine." He replied darkly before downing his beer.

Around midnight the captains started rounding up their crews and telling them to head back to the boats. Jake wrapped his arms around Onyx's waist and nuzzled his face into her neck "come on let's head to the boat. You can meet the rest of the crew." He said in a slightly muffled voice. Onyx pushed him away from her and held his hand instead. Onyx and Jake drove to the boat with Josh and Ryan. They laughed the entire way as Josh told them about all the tricks he and Jake had played on each other growing up. Finally they arrived at the Cornelia Marie and Onyx was overwhelmed by its size. It was a lot larger than she had imagined. It was painted blue and yellow and even in the dark the colors still seemed to shine.  
"She's a beauty isn't she?" Josh asked happily. He lifted her up and helped her on the boat. Jake grabbed his arm as soon as Onyx was distracted. "Dude keep your hands off of her." Jake whispered.  
"Dude seriously? I was just helping her out you were busy looking for your cigarettes so you weren't paying attention to what was going on. Stop acting insecure." He whispered back quickly.  
"I'm not acting insecure." He retorted angrily  
Josh rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say Jake."  
Luckily Ryan had been explaining the proper way to get onto the boat for future reference to Onyx so she didn't hear any of their conversation.  
They headed toward the galley and found Freddie eating a bowl of Ice cream. "The boys are here! SWEET!" Freddie Declared. He stood up and hugged them but stopped when he got to Onyx. "Who's the girl?" He asked.  
"This is my wife Onyx." Jake said with a smirk. Freddie stared blankly at him for a few moments. "I didn't know you was married! She here for a tour or something Jake?"

"We've only been married a month but yea I'd better give her a quick tour now that you mention it."  
"You only been married a month and she letting you fish? Good girl."  
"Yea she's pretty supportive."  
"She's only supporting him because she gets to come to!" Ryan said laughing.  
"Ha-ha very funny!" Freddie said sarcastically  
"No joke. She's going to be the cook." Jake said as he lit a cigarette.  
Freddie began mumbling in Samoan under his breath and sat back down shaking his head and continued to eat his ice cream.  
Onyx shifted uncomfortably. This didn't go unnoticed by Jake who threw his arm around her "Come on time for your tour."  
He led her a few feet over to the kitchen area "This is your work space.  
You're going to be in here a lot considering we eat constantly." He showed her where all the pots and pans were, explained the best way to keep everything on the stove while the boat was rolling, and how to work all the electronics." Onyx nodded trying her best to remember everything he said.  
Jake took a long drag off of his cigarette. "Ok ill show you our room. We'll be sharing with Josh."  
Onyx nodded the nerves she should have been feeling for the past month were finally hitting her. Jake pushed open the door it was very small. She could tell it was cramped with two guys and couldn't imagine how horrible it was going to be now that there were three of them." We're on top." Jake said as he threw her duffle bag on the bed. "Its gonna be a tight fit but we sleep pretty close together anyway so it should be fine"  
Josh suddenly appeared at the door. "I don't plan on listening to you two have sex every night ok?"  
Jake turned to him and smiled "Well you'd better change your plans because I can guarantee your going To hear us three, four, five times a nig..."  
Onyx punched him in the stomach cutting him off.  
"Don't worry Josh nothing will happen with you in the room." Onyx said sweetly.  
"Want to bet?" Jake said as he pulled her close to him and kissed her.  
Josh rolled his eyes. "This is going to be a long trip." He mumbled as he left the room.

The next morning Onyx met the last crew member Dave on her way back from the bathroom. She walked right into him making him drop his cup of coffee. "I'm so sorry!" She said as she stooped down to pick up the glass. He looked down at her wondering what the hell this girl was doing on the boat. If Phil found out one of his boys brought a girl back to the boat he would flip out. "Who the hell are you?" He asked. Onyx stood up and tossed the broken shards into the trash can. "I'm Onyx, the new cook," She said nervously.  
"Phil hired a woman?" He asked. Onyx was slightly amused at the shocked look on his face.  
"Well I'm Jake's wife so I was a shoe in."  
"Jake's wife?" Dave was trying to process what she just told him.  
"Yes."  
Dave snorted "The last thing this crew needs is a woman on board. Especially someone's wife."  
Onyx felt color rising in her cheeks.  
"I'm not going to cause any trouble you know."  
Dave laughed at her "Yea right."  
He turned his back to her and went to make himself more coffee.  
Onyx headed back to her state room and sat down angrily on Josh's empty bed. "What's wrong?" Jake asked as he pulled on his jeans.  
"I just met Dave." She said as she flicked some nail polish of her nails.  
"How did it go?"  
"Well he didn't like me nearly as much as Freddie did."  
"Do I perhaps sense sarcasm?"  
Onyx sighed, "I don't want them to hate me Jake."  
"Freddie and Dave don't hate you. They are just old fashioned. Don't worry they'll come around."  
Onyx wasn't convinced but didn't want to talk about it anymore so she changed the subject, "What are we doing today?"  
"WE aren't doing anything." He replied as he pulled on his boots, "I'm helping get the pots on board and you're going grocery shopping. Josh is going to go with you." Onyx groaned "I hate grocery shopping.""Well your about to hate it about a million times more."  
"Why?"  
Jake laughed, "You'll see."

Josh pulled Phil's truck into the grocery store parking lot.  
"I'll wait here." Onyx said as she curled up in the seat.  
"Nice try kiddo, get out of the truck."  
"Fine." Onyx said as she slid lazily out of the truck.  
"What do we need to buy?" She asked.  
"About twenty of everything."  
"Lovely."  
Josh and Onyx decided to split up meet at the front of the store in an hour. Take the groceries back to the boat and then do it all over again.  
Onyx walked slowly through the aisles grabbing as much as she could and throwing it unceremoniously into her basket.  
"Hey beautiful."  
Onyx turned to see one of the guys she had met at the Captains' table the night before.  
"Remember me?" He asked.  
She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear," Yea your Sig's brother Edgar."  
He laughed. "I'd prefer just Edgar."  
"Sorry."  
"I'll let it slide this time." He glanced down at her basket. "Stocking the boat I see."  
Onyx nodded but didn't know what to say. Something about Edgar was making her nervous.  
"Do you want some help?" He asked  
"Don't you have to do your own shopping?"  
"Junior can manage without me."  
"Oh well if you insist."  
"I do insist."  
She gave him a small smile and they began walking down the isle.  
"So are you nervous?" Edgar asked as he threw ten bags of candy into her basket."  
"A little bit but I'll be with Jake so I'll be fine."  
He frowned slightly, "I can't believe you married the kid."  
"Why not?"  
He shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?"  
"Sure."  
"Did the thought cross your mind that maybe you made a mistake?"  
"No." She lied. Of course the thought crossed her mind but it wasn't enough to stop her from marrying Jake.  
He smirked and she knew he didn't believe her.  
"When you meet the one you just know." She added.  
He grabbed some steak and chicken and put it in to her basket before responding to her. "Don't you think you're too young to be tied down to one person?"  
"Nope." She glanced down and saw he had on a wedding ring "How old were you when you got married?"  
"23."  
"See you got married young too."  
"We're separated, and my wife has been threatening to divorce me for years."  
Onyx didn't know what to say. That was the last thing she had been expecting Edgar to say.  
"There are plenty of men besides Jake who would want you."  
"Oh yea like who?" She asked  
He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the sudden appearance  
of a shorter guy with blond hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a northwestern jacket so she assumed he was the guy Edgar mentioned earlier.  
"What do you want Junior?" Edgar asked angrily.  
"I've been looking for you everywhere Ed! Where have you been?"  
"I've been helping Phil's daughter in law. She's never had to shop like this before."  
"Oh your Jake's wife! I'm the other Jake, but the Northwestern guys call me Junior."  
Onyx smiled at Jake and reached out to shake his hand she could tell he was a sweetheart.  
"Ed we have to head back soon Sig said he wanted us to hurry."  
Edgar rolled his eyes "I'd better go before my brother has a heart attack. Will you be back at the bar tonight?"  
"More than likely."  
He smiled, "see you then beautiful."  
She waved goodbye and then continued down the aisle by herself.

Twenty minutes later she met Josh in the front of the store and waited in the extremely long line of fishermen also trying to stock their boats with food.  
"Jake from the Northwestern bumped into me on his way out. He said he met you." Josh said as he stifled a yawn. Onyx nodded. "What did you think of him?"  
"He seemed pretty cool. I only talked to him for a second. Edgar helped me shop though."  
Josh's eyebrows furrowed slightly, "Edgar helped you shop?"  
"Yup."  
"What did you talk about?"  
"Ummm I don't know. About Jake a little bit. My Jake I mean. Well I guess he's your Jake too. I can't remember what else. It wasn't important though."  
Onyx noticed Josh seemed to be deciding whether or not to say something.  
"What's wrong?" She asked him  
"Nothing. Just he didn't um flirt with you or anything did he?"  
Onyx thought about her conversation with Edgar. She didn't really consider anything he said to be that flirtatious.  
"He called me beautiful but that's pretty much it."  
"You have to be careful around Edgar. I know my brother and he'd be mad if he knew you were talking to him all alone."  
"Why what's wrong with him? He seemed nice enough."  
"Don't get me wrong Edgar is a great guy but after he separated from his wife he sort of changed."  
Onyx was suddenly very curious, "What changed about him?"  
"I think he just wants to experience everything he missed out on while he was with his wife. He's been sleeping around a lot and acting like no one is off limits to him. I know I wouldn't leave my girl alone with him."  
"I'll be careful." Onyx said after a long silence.

Two and a half hours later they were back on the boat and both of their shopping trips were complete. Josh had gone to stack the pots with Jake and the rest of the crew and Onyx was left trying to find a place for all the groceries. After what seemed like an eternity all the groceries were put away. She wandered up to the wheel house where Phil had a chart in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He was bobbing his head along to Journey. Onyx watched at the top of the steps for a moment. She couldn't believe how awesome her father in law was. Onyx walked across the wheel house and sat on the bench across from Phil's chair. "What are you doing?" She asked. As Phil rambled about everything he still had to get done before the next day Onyx found herself wishing she wouldn't have said anything. Onyx stood up and stretched. "Well I'll see you later Phil I'm going to go see how the guys are doing."  
Phil smiled, "Don't go distracting my boy."  
"I could never do such a thing." Onyx smiled and turned to walk down the stairs. "See you later shrimp." Phil called as she disappeared.  
Onyx pulled on her new boots and walked out onto the deck. She quickly jumped onto the dock and got out of their way. "Onyx I don't want you jumping off of the boat without someone with you!" Jake screamed from on top of the stack.  
Onyx rolled her eyes "Shut up and do your job Jake. I've got everything under control down here." Jake gave her the finger before returning to work. Josh who was closest to her laughed, "You two are ridiculous."  
Onyx laughed but the smile was wiped off her face as Dave walked by and gave her a dirty look.  
Josh shook his head. "He'll warm up to you."  
"Yea so I've been told." She mumbled moodily.

Later that night Onyx changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and her brand new Cornelia Marie sweatshirt. She didn't dare wear anything more revealing than that or Jake might have had an aneurysm. She met Jake, Josh, and Ryan in the galley and they began walking to the bar. It was freezing Onyx could her fingers shaking within Jake's hand. "Why didn't we ride with Phil?" She shivered. He pulled her close to him and began rubbing her shoulders. "Because Pops went to go meet with the other captains. They do it before every king crab season." The guys stopped walking suddenly. Onyx looked up they were outside of a gas station. "What are we doing here?"  
"Josh needs to pick up cigarettes and I need to pick up some other stuff." Jake replied.  
She eyed him suspiciously. "Some other stuff?"  
"Calm down tiger I just need to get some condoms."  
"Oh."  
"Yea I'm not trying to make any little Jakes. At least not while we're on the boat."  
Onyx was instantly uncomfortable. She still hadn't told Jake she couldn't have children. She knew the longer she waited the worse it would be but Jake always seemed so excited whenever he mentioned them having a family. She just couldn't muster the courage to tell him.  
"You and Ryan can go ahead we'll meet you at the bar." He added.  
She raised her eyebrows, "You're going to let me go into a bar without you?"  
"I trust you."  
"Oh Jacob."  
She stepped forward to kiss him but Josh put his arm in between them.  
"No no no! None of this mushy crap!"  
Jake rolled his eyes and pushed Josh's arm out of the way. He kissed her on the forehead. "Ill see you in a little while." Onyx nodded. She and Ryan continued walking toward the bar. They joked and laughed almost the whole way. Ryan was hilarious. When they finally got there the bar was already packed. "Where do you want to sit?" She asked him  
"Oh well I met a girl last night and honestly I want to get laid before we leave so I wanted to go chill with her. Is that ok?"  
Onyx laughed,"Yea that's cool."  
Onyx walked over to the bar and ordered a soda. She sat down and wished that Jake would hurry up.  
"Hey beautiful."  
She turned to see Edgar sitting down next to her. He looked her up and down  
"Nice sweatshirt."  
"Thanks." She said sweetly. Onyx thought about everything Josh had said about him and began feeling a little weary of sitting there with him. However he was the only person currently there that she knew and she felt a little safer with him sitting there.  
Edgar licked his lips. "You'd look better in a Northwestern one."  
Onyx laughed and took a sip of her soda to give her something to do.  
"How about I buy you a beer?" He suggested  
"I don't drink and I'm underage anyway."  
"They don't card here."  
"Well I still don't drink."  
"Not yet."  
"What do you mean?"  
"By the end of King crab season trust me you'll be drinking."  
"I guess we'll see."  
Edgar glanced over his shoulder  
"Your husband just walked in. I'd better leave before he sees me with you."  
Onyx nodded.  
"Ill see you at the end of the season for that beer beautiful." He kissed her hand before getting up and walking away.  
Onyx instinctively wiped her hand off as if she was afraid Jake would somehow know. She turned around and smiled as she watched her husband weave his way toward her. Many Girls' heads turned as he walked past them. They giggled and whispered in each other's ears. Onyx felt a sudden annoyance and for the first time she felt the same feelings Jake felt when guys stared at her. Jake sat down in Edgar's vacated seat. "Where's Ryan?" He asked.  
"Bathroom." Onyx said knowing Jake would flip out if she knew he'd left her alone.  
He nodded and ordered a beer.  
"What took you so long to get here?" Onyx asked.  
"There were some guys we new at the gas station." He paused, "I don't really want to be here do you want to head back to the boat?"  
"Yea."  
He held out his hand for her and started weaving their way to the door. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Edgar staring in their direction. His face was expressionless and it made her slightly uneasy.

They walked slowly back to the boat. Jake had a small smile on his face.  
"What's up?" She asked  
"It's just crazy to think about."  
"What is?"  
"Two months ago I never would of imagined being married let alone bringing my wife crabbing with me."  
"It is pretty crazy to think about. If I would have gone home I would have been in college for two weeks already."  
"I just hope you don't end up regretting staying with me."  
"If I would have gone home guaranteed all I would be able to think about was how stupid I was for letting you go."  
"But you had dreams before you met me and now..."  
Onyx cut him off. "Jake all my dreams came true the day I met you."


	6. Chapter 6

When they arrived back to the boat Jake led Onyx straight to their room. He was hoping they would have some time alone before Josh got back. He watched as she attempted to climb onto their bunk and laughed. The boat was definitely not made for someone who was 5'3. Finally taking pity on her, he grabbed her and pushed her up.  
"Thanks." She mumbled as Jake easily pulled himself onto the bed. Jake sat down across from Onyx and looked at her for a moment. "What the hell are you looking at?" Onyx asked playfully. Jake grabbed her hands and pulled her onto his lap. He placed his hands under her sweatshirt and ran them slowly up her back before pulling it off all together. Jake kissed and nibbled her neck softly as he moved her bra straps off of her shoulders and down her arms. Onyx shivered at his touch.  
He moved her off of his lap and laid her down. She arched her back as he kissed along her chest and stomach. Jake struggled for a moment to pull off her unnecessarily tight Jeans causing Onyx to giggle. Jake leaned over her and kissed her. He put every ounce of the feelings he had for her into that kiss and when he pulled away they were both breathing hard. He sat back on his heals to start removing his own clothing. Onyx licked her lips as he removed his shirt. Jake smirked he knew Onyx loved his thin but toned body. Jake quickly removed the rest of his clothing and placed himself above her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and moved slowly down to her lips. Onyx squirmed beneath him as he pushed himself inside of her. She bit down on his shoulder to keep herself from crying out in ecstasy. Jake had never known sex could be so amazing. It wasn't so much the sex in itself which was enough to make his head spin it was getting to be so connected to Onyx. They argued and annoyed each other all throughout the day and they certainly didn't know everything about each other but as soon as they were intimate none of it mattered. All that mattered was the two of them and the feelings they had for each other.

When Onyx woke up the next morning Jake wasn't in bed with her. She pulled on one of Jake's shirts and some black leggings. She immediately got a huge whiff of Jake's signature scent of cigarettes, cologne, and something that made her feel warm but she was never able to place what it was. Onyx headed to the galley hoping he was there. She found Phil sitting at the Galley table smoking a cigarette. "Morning Phil." Onyx yawned as she slid in next to him. "Morning shrimp." He replied ruffling her hair.  
"Where's Jake?" Onyx asked  
"Outside with the rest of the crew making sure every thing is ready to go. We'll be leaving in about 10 minutes."  
Onyx gulped.  
Phil laughed. "Nervous?"  
"Incredibly." Onyx admitted, "Please don't say anything to Jake though. He'll think he was right about me staying home."  
"You two are something else! Don't worry kid I won't say anything. Everyone is nervous their first trip."  
Onyx smiled, "Thanks Phil."  
Phil stretched. "I better head back to the wheel house."  
Onyx nodded and stood up to make herself a bowl of cereal.  
She was just about to grab a bowl when she heard someone calling her. She walked towards the door to find Josh standing there.  
"What?" She asked  
"Jake wants you."  
Onyx pulled on her boots and followed Josh on to the deck.  
"What does he want?" Onyx asked  
"I don't know. How his mind works is a mystery to me." He answered simply.  
Onyx walked across the deck to where Jake was standing. He looked her up and down "Nice shirt." He said smirking.  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "What do you want?" Jake pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I want you to watch as we pull away from the Dock."  
"Why?"  
"Because it's beautiful."  
Onyx smiled and leaned against the rail.  
Jake pressed himself against her and kissed the back of her head. Onyx could feel the boat start under her feet. It sent a vibration throughout her whole body. The guys all cheered as the boat began to move. Onyx laughed as Josh and Freddie jumped around the deck yelling at the top of their lungs. Onyx inhaled deeply, she finally recognized that amazing scent that was on all of Jake's clothes. It was the sea. She hadn't recognized it back at the dock because of all the smells boats being repaired constantly emitted. As they got further and further away from Dutch Harbor Onyx got butterflies and it hit her that there was no turning back. Jake pulled away from her. "Alright Onyx you can go back inside now. I suggest you remember what the deck feels like because you're not setting foot on it again until we get back to Dutch."  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "You're such a buzz kill Jake."  
"I love you too!" Jake yelled as Onyx walked back inside.

Onyx headed into the galley and decided to start making everyone lunch. She found it to be much more difficult to keep all the pots and pans on the stove while the boat was rolling than Jake had led on. She burned herself several times and broke two plates. However she wasn't willing to give Jake the satisfaction of her giving up. She quickly ran back and forth across the small kitchen area trying to keep everything balanced. Finally after ten minutes she managed to get everything under control. After another twenty minutes the food was ready. Onyx took a plate of chicken alfredo and French rolls upstairs to Phil. Phil smiled when he saw her "I thought I smelled something good." Onyx handed Phil his plate and waited anxiously as he took a bite. "Mmmm this is pretty good we might not have to chuck you off the boat after all." Onyx let out a small sigh of relief, "It's nothing special. I want to make sure I know my way around down there before I tackle anything complicated."  
"This will do just fine." Phil said between bites. "We've got a long steam ahead of us so the boys will be coming in a few minutes. They'll probably head straight to the galley."  
Onyx laughed, "I'll go set their plates."  
She headed back down to the galley and set the table. Onyx had just finished spooning a generous amount of Chicken alfredo onto the last plate when the Boys came in talking loudly. They piled around the table and immediately began diving into their food.  
Onyx was pleased the see that they were enjoying it.  
Onyx sat down on the end of the booth next to Ryan.  
She saw the look of disapproval on Jake's face but chose to ignore it. It was Jakes fault for sitting in the middle. What did he expect her to do climb over the table to sit next to him?  
"You keep cooking like this and you can stick around!" Freddie declared. The other guys nodded in agreement, with the exception of Dave.  
Onyx couldn't have hid her smile if she had tried. She had desperately wanted some sort of approval from Freddie and Dave. One down one to go.  
Once the crew finally got their fill Josh brought out some playing cards. Onyx rubbed her hands together;" I have to warn you Poker is my game."  
Ryan laughed,"We'll see about that. I'm a champ." Three games of Poker later Josh threw down his cards. "What the hell is this? I'm not ever playing cards with Onyx again!"  
Onyx smirked as she slid the pile of M&Ms they were using as chips toward her. "She's only winning because she's cheating." Jake mumbled under his breath. Onyx threw a handful of M&Ms and him. "I'm not cheating. It's God given talent love."  
Jake threw down his cards. "I don't think I want to play cards with you anymore either. I've got a reputation to keep."  
Ryan looked heartbroken, "I've never lost before. I feel like my whole universe just crumbled around me."  
The crew laughed. "I warned you." Onyx said happily.

The crew decided to get some rest while they had the chance. Jake stretched "You coming?"  
"Yea," onyx replied. "I just have to clean up in here."  
"Want some help?"  
"No thanks. Its my job remember? Thank you for offering though."  
She lent in and kissed him.  
Jake smiled. "If that's my reward ill start offering to help you more often."  
Onyx shooed him away and began cleaning up. It took a lot longer than she expected it to. Apparently everything took a lot longer to do at sea. Onyx made her way to their state room and laughed when she saw Josh asleep with his mouth wide open. It was times like that that made it clear he and Jake were brothers. Jake helped pull her onto the bunk. After pulling her hair into a pony tail she snuggled herself up against him. His hand traveled down her side and on to her lower stomach, Onyx grabbed it and moved it away from her.  
"I'm hip to your game Jacob."  
"What game?" Jake said in his most innocent voice.  
Onyx snorted, "Don't play dumb. I told you we aren't doing anything with Josh in the room."  
"I thought you were kidding."  
"No you didn't."  
"Well I was hoping you were."  
Onyx laughed and rolled onto her stomach.  
"Ow something is digging into me." She said suddenly  
"What is it?" Jake asked.  
Onyx reached beneath her and grasped what was stabbing into her. She pulled it out from beneath the blanket. Onyx sat up on her elbows to look at it.  
"It's a pill bottle."  
She turned it around to read what it was but Jake snatched it out of her hand.  
"Umm excuse me! I was reading that." Onyx snapped  
"Its Josh's. He gets really bad stomach aches." He retorted  
"Why was it up here?"  
"Josh always leaves his stuff everywhere."  
"Really? That doesn't seem like him."  
"Why are you asking so many questions about it! It doesn't matter!" Jake shot at her.  
Onyx was taken aback, "You don't have to act like that Jake I was only curious."  
Jake sighed, "I know I'm sorry I'm just tired."  
Onyx kissed him on the cheek and rolled over. She didn't know why but she felt really unsettled. She didn't have much time to dwell on it because soon the boat had rocked her to sleep.

Around six that evening Phil woke the guys up and sent them out on deck. Onyx headed to the galley and made some sandwiches for them to grab whenever they had a free moment. She then headed to the wheel house to check on Phil. She handed him and sandwich and sat down. "How are you?" She asked.  
"OK. I just want to get these pots in the water. How are you?"  
"I'm fine just trying to get used to everything."  
"Don't worry kid it will start to feel like a second home soon enough."  
Onyx laughed," I hope so."  
"What do your parents think about you being out here?" Phil asked  
"My dad moved back to Nigeria when I was little and my mom hasn't answered my calls since I told her about me and Jake."  
Phil shook his head, "That's horrible you don't deserve that."  
Onyx shrugged her shoulders. She didn't trust herself to speak she was beginning to feel emotional and didn't want Phil to think she was weak.  
"Well don't worry Onyx you've got Jake, and you've got me and Josh. We're your family now." A tear slid down her face and she tried to wipe it away before Phil saw. If he did see he had the courtesy to act like he didn't. Onyx sat in wheel house and talked to Phil for hours. He had the best stories even if they did seem a little far fetched at times. Onyx's sides were hurting from laughing so hard.  
Phil chuckled,"Alright shrimp get out of here, you're distracting me."

Onyx laughed and headed back down stairs. She curled up in her bunk and read one of the books she had brought with her. She heard loud footsteps that told her the boys were back inside.  
She made her way the galley where they were devouring the remaining sandwiches. Jake stood up and gave her a hug. Onyx wrinkled her nose, "You smell awful."  
Jake smelled his sweatshirt, "I don't smell anything. Here Josh smell it."  
Josh caught the sweatshirt that Jake had just thrown to him. "It doesn't smell like anything."  
Onyx laughed "I guess you guys are just used to the smell. Why are you guys back inside already?"  
"Two hour steam to where pops wants to set the next string." Jake said through a mouthful of sandwich.  
Onyx nodded and headed over to the fridge to grab herself a soda when she suddenly remembered something.  
"Hey Josh I brought a really good herbal tea with me that will help you with your stomach."  
Josh raised an eyebrow, "My stomach?"  
"Yea Jake told me you get really bad stomach aches."  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
Josh started to say but Jake cut him off."Hey babe, grab me a soda too!"  
Josh looked at him with his eyes narrowed but Jake averted his gaze.  
Onyx handed Jake his soda and slid in next to him. They all sat at the galley table and talked until it was time for them to go back to work. Josh wasn't very talkative which was very out of character for him. He just sat there glaring at Jake. Onyx brushed it off; she assumed they had gotten into an argument outside, which was a very common occurrence. It wasn't until Onyx was back in her state room cleaning up that the unsettling feeling returned. She couldn't place what was bothering her so much. All she knew for sure was that is was something important. Very important.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey everyone :)  
Please please review I would love to know what everyone thinks! I'm interested in anything at all you have to say :)

In response to several pms and emails I received:  
Yes there will be more Edgar, but I can't tell you when, where,why or how :)

Josh advanced on Jake who held his ground even though Josh was almost a head taller than him. He had been on Jake's case since Onyx mentioned his stomach issues a week before and Jake was losing his patience.  
"I know you're hiding something Jake and if you don't tell me what it is I'll go to dad." Josh warned.  
"And say what? Jake is hiding stuff from me and its hurting my feelings." Jake mocked.  
"Stop with the bullshit Jake! You told Onyx there was something wrong with my stomach to cover something up. I know you did there's no logical reason for you to randomly just tell her that. Especially when it's not true."  
Jake rolled his eyes," You really need to get out of daddy mode because it's seriously pissing me off."  
"I'll tell her you're lying to her Jake."  
Jake stepped closer to Josh so that they were a mere inch apart.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you dude? I've told you a million times already that I was talking about someone else and she just got confused! All your going to accomplish is make her pissed at me over something that isn't a big deal."  
Josh snorted," I know when your lying Jacob you forget how predictable you are."  
Jake sighed in frustration, "Alright fine Josh! I hurt my back and I have some pills prescribed for it. I knew Onyx would get all worried so when she found them I told her they were yours."  
Jake could see that Josh didn't completely believe him but he wasn't willing to tell him the complete truth. It wasn't any of Josh's business anyway.  
"You hurt your back?" Josh questioned  
"Yes."  
"When?"  
"You're so annoying dude, Get the fuck off my case!" Jake spat as he pushed past him and made his way to the galley.

Onyx looked up from the onions she was chopping as Jake sat down angrily at the galley table. She rolled her eyes it wasn't necessary for her to ask what was wrong to know that it had something to do with Josh. They had been at each others throat for days but neither of them would give her a sufficient answer as to why they were fighting. Josh had squeezed her shoulder and said it was just '_brother stuff'_, when she questioned him about it while Jake had simply told her to _'stay out of it'_. Even though Jake and Josh's fighting was a little uncomfortable for her she was still in a really good mood.  
Onyx had adjusted to boat life rather quickly. She hadn't been sea sick once, she cooked up to six full meals a day with great reception from the crew, and Dave was finally starting to be nice to her. Nice was a bit of an overstatement but at least he wasn't completely icy anymore. Besides the rare moments of quality time she spent with Jake her favorite thing to do on the boat was sit up in the wheel house with Phil.  
She was confident there was no greater father in law on the planet. They had a lot in common, from their love of classic rock to their obsession with animal planet. Whenever Jake pissed her off Phil knew exactly what to say to calm her down. There was one particular thing he had said to her that she couldn't get out of her head, _'Yea Jakes a smart ass, he doesn't think before he speaks, and he always has to have the last word. But he honest to God loves you Onyx and he's tryin.'_ Onyx smiled as the words flooded back to her. She cleared her throat, "Jake do you want me to make you something special tonight?"  
Jake looked up at her suspiciously, "why?"  
"Because I love you silly."  
"That was so corny." Jake laughed.  
"Well fine, see if I ever try to be nice to you again!"  
"Calm down tiger I was kidding."  
Jake walked over and stood behind her wrapping his arms around her waist.  
"Anything you cook is fine with me," he said as he placed a kiss on her shoulder blade.  
"Well I want cupcakes." Ryan said lazily as he sat down at the table.  
Onyx smiled, "I guess today is your lucky day."  
Onyx nudged Jake away from her they had decided to keep the PDA to a minimum. In all actuality Onyx decided and Jake grudgingly agreed. Onyx wanted to fit in and be one of the guys and she couldn't do that if she and Jake were always all over each other.  
Josh joined Ryan at the galley table his eyes immediately found Jake's and glared at him. Ryan rolled his eyes and gave Onyx a look that said, _'you'll get used to it._' "Ummm what kind of cup cakes do you like Josh?" Onyx said trying to break the tension.  
Josh tore his gaze away from his brother and smiled, "It doesn't matter. I'll eat anything." He turned back to Jake, "You don't think they'll be to hard on my stomach do you Jake?"  
Onyx glanced at Jake and saw him clenching his teeth and looking at Josh like he was trying to set him on fire. _'Why the hell are the acting like this_?' She wondered. Nothing bad at all had just been said. Freddy and Dave walked in and Josh turned his attention to them instead of his brother. Onyx turned to Jake, "When are you two going to start being nice to each other? The three of us share a room and I don't like the tension or the looks you give me when I talk to him."  
Jake decided to disregard the second half of what Onyx said,  
"Ill start being nice to him when he stops being so fucking dumb."  
Onyx sighed, "When are you guys going back out?"  
"Twenty minutes."  
Onyx nodded and continued chopping onions. Jake sat at the galley table next to Ryan and didn't acknowledge his brother any further.

Twenty minutes later the guys pulled on their gear and headed outside. Onyx finished prepping the food and decided to relax for a while before she actually started cooking. She pulled herself up onto her bunk and began to read. She found that she was soon reading the same line over and over and threw her book down. Onyx stretched pulled the blanket over her head deciding she would kill time by taking a nap. She tried to sleep but after an hour she gave up. Onyx made her way to the galley cussing fluently as she went. Onyx began cooking and two hours later she once again found herself bored. She looked down at the three dozen freshly frosted cupcakes, _'maybe I got a little carried away' _she thought. Life on a crab boat wasn't nearly as exciting as she thought it was going to be. At least not for her since she was stuck inside. What she really wanted was to be out on deck with the boys, but she knew it was impossible. Onyx didn't think it would be that hard to convince Phil, it was Jake who would probably explode the moment she mentioned it. She sighed and headed up to wheel house. As she got to the top of the stairs she saw the familiar sight of Phil tapping his foot anxiously with a cigarette in one hand and a red bull in the other. Onyx sat down on the bench behind him she occupied so frequently. "What's wrong?" he asked without looking at her.  
"Nothing." She replied  
"Don't think I didn't hear all that cussing you were doing down there shrimp."  
Onyx laughed, "Nothings wrong, I'm just bored."  
Phil chuckled, "I could have told you life as a cook isn't that exciting."  
Phil took a drag off of his cigarette and turned to look at her, "Onyx if it were up to me I would let you go outside and do bait but..."  
"It is up to you." Onyx cut in.  
"Jacob would murder me in my sleep if let you go out there." Phil continued  
"I know." Onyx said sadly, "Why does he have to care so much about my safety?"  
Phil laughed and shook his head, "You're something else! The boys will be working for a few more hours then they'll get a four hour break, at least you won't be too bored then."  
"I'll have eight hours of cleaning to do after they leave the galley. That should keep me occupied."  
Onyx sat in the wheel house with Phil until he called the boys inside. Then she happily made her way downstairs.

"I smell cupcakes!" Ryan yelled happily as he slid into the booth.  
The rest of the guys piled in around him and began to eat. Onyx sat down next to Jake and rested her head on his shoulder. "Tired?" She asked  
"Duh," He replied between mouthfuls, "but there's some stuff I need to take care of before I go to sleep."  
Onyx gave him a questioning look and he winked back at her. Onyx rolled her eyes _'he's talking about sex.'_  
After they finished their food they dove into the cupcakes Ryan in the lead. Jake tried to nudge Onyx out of the booth, "Come on let's go back to the room."  
Onyx narrowed her eyes, "You better eat some of those cupcakes or I'm not going anywhere."  
Jake shoved a whole cupcake in his mouth. "Happy?" He asked although Onyx could barely understand him through the mouthful of cupcake.  
"Not particularly." Onyx started to reply but Jake had already pushed her out of the booth and was dragging her to their room. Jake unceremoniously threw her up onto the bed and climbed up after her. "Um excuse me?" Onyx began but she became muffled as Jake pulled her shirt over her head. Jake yanked her leggings off and began undressing himself. "Jake can you calm down!" Onyx pleaded half amused. Jake smirked and shook his head as he climbed on top of her. Onyx tried to resist him she wanted to lay in bed and talk but as soon as his lips met hers she melted. Jake suddenly pulled away and sat up.  
Onyx pouted, "What's wrong?"  
"Condom." Was his only response as he began throwing stuff around their bunk.  
After being hit in the face by a pillow and a book Onyx grabbed his arm, "Clearly they aren't up here Jake!"  
"Where else would they be? I know we didn't use them all already."  
"Just skip it."  
Onyx pulled him towards her. Jake pulled his arm out of her grasp  
"We can't skip it."  
He pulled his boxers back on and jumped off the bunk. Jake proceeded to  
throw around everything in their stateroom. "I think Josh took them to be an asshole." Jake said as he began looking through his brother's cabinets.  
Onyx snorted, "That's highly unlikely. That sounds like something you would do not Josh.  
Jake closed Josh's cabinets and gave Onyx a dirty look. Onyx laughed, "Come on we don't need them anyway."  
She bit her lip uncomfortably She had said more than she intended to. Jake paused what he was doing and looked up at her. It wasn't so much what she said that bothered him it was how she reacted after she said it.  
He pulled himself back onto the bed and stared at her for a moment. "Why don't we need them?" He finally asked.  
She covered herself with the blanket and sighed. _'It's now or never'_ she thought. Unfortunately she hadn't imagined being completely naked when she finally told Jake what she'd been hiding from him.  
Jake narrowed his eyes, "Why don't we need them?" he repeated. "I know you're not on birth control."  
Onyx opened and closed her mouth she couldn't seem to make any words come out. "Well?" Jake demanded. She could already see his temper rising.  
"I need to tell you something." Onyx said so quietly Jake barely heard her.  
"What?" He said angrily  
"I... There's something wrong with me."  
Jake's eyebrows furrowed but he didn't say anything. She knew he was waiting for more.  
"We don't need birth control because..., "Onyx took a deep breath, "because I can't produce children anyway."  
Jake's face fell. Whatever he had been expecting she knew he hadn't been expecting that. "And when exactly were you going to tell me that?" Jake asked.  
The forced calm in his voice made Onyx recoil slightly. She shrugged, "I was scared to."  
He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. For a moment she thought he was going to wrap his arms around her like he had done so many times but then his grip tightened. "I must have mentioned us having kids dozens of times Onyx and you didn't think it was necessary to mention we were never going to have any?"  
Onyx tried unsuccessfully to pull her arm away from him. Jake was small but very strong. "Well we can still adopt." Before the sentence had completely left her lips she knew it would make Jake even angrier.  
"I don't want somebody else's kids Onyx!" He screamed in her face. Her lip quivered and she heard the voices in the galley falter.  
"Jake please calm down." She pleaded  
"Don't tell me to calm down! I can't believe you kept this from me! We're married Onyx!"  
"I didn't tell you because I knew you would react like this! Don't tell me you don't hide things from me Jake! I'm not stupid those pills I found weren't Josh's!"  
Jake released her arm and for a moment he seemed at a loss for words. "Don't...Don't turn this around." He finally managed.  
Tears fell down Onyx's cheeks and Jake reached forward to wipe them away. She pushed his hand away from her. Onyx turned her back on him and curled up in the fetal position.  
Jake lay down next to her and pulled her close to him. At his touch Onyx began to sob. Silent tears fell down Jake's face but neither one said anything. Onyx and Jake were each fuming mad but the guilt and sadness they were feeling trumped the anger.

An hour later Onyx still was laying in Jake's arms and he assumed she had fallen asleep. He tried to sleep but his mind raced. Jake had never lost control and yelled at Onyx like that. The only person he really lost his temper on was Josh, but when Onyx said she couldn't have kids something in him snapped. Three months ago the idea of him ever being a father was unimaginable but after he met Onyx the idea of having a family excited him.  
"Jake?" Onyx whispered.  
He jumped slightly, "yea?"  
"Do you hate me?"  
"I could never hate you."  
He could feel her start to cry again and he held her closer.  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't know how." She said as she tried to control her breathing.  
"I know." He kissed the back of her head. "It's ok." He added.  
Jake rubbed her back for a few minutes as she continued to cry. He had learned early on this comforted her.  
"Jake?" She whispered once more.  
"What?"  
"Are you an addict?"  
He smiled slightly at how blunt Onyx was, "No." He lied. Jake had known he was addicted to the pills within two weeks of having them prescribed. The pills weren't the only drugs he took but they were the only ones he _'needed_'. He didn't think his addiction was that big of a deal. He could still function normally It wasn't as though he couldn't live without them if had to.  
"Why do you take those pills then?"  
"Fishing takes its toll on your body Onyx."  
"Oh OK."  
Jake was grateful she didn't ask why he lied to her. Guilt engulfed him as he realized she probably didn't ask because she was scared he was going to yell at her again."I love you with everything in me." He whispered into her ear. Onyx didn't reply. In the silence he heard her breathing deeply and realized she had finally fallen asleep. Jake looked at the clock mounted on the wall, he had to go back to work in just under two hours. He closed his eyes and drifted into a restless sleep.

Onyx slowly opened her eyes as she reached out for Jake. She frowned when she grabbed nothing but bed sheets. The crew was already back to work. She could hear their muffled yells coming from outside. Onyx rubbed her eyes wearily and hopped out of the bunk. She reached out her hand to pull open the door when she thought of something and paused. Onyx ran back across the room to her bunk. Standing on her tip toes she lifted of the mattress and felt around blindly underneath it. Finally her hand closed around what she was looking for. Jake's pills. Onyx hadn't believed Jake for a second when he said he wasn't addicted to them. He had a certain way of talking when he was lying to her that he was clueless of. Onyx contemplated her options she couldn't just take the bottle he would know it was her. Or he would blame Josh just like he blamed him for everything else. She couldn't take a bunch of them at once he would definitely notice that as well. Onyx poured a few of the pills into her hand deciding she would take a couple out daily. She opened up the cabinet and dropped them into her makeup box knowing Jake wouldn't go near it. After placing the pill bottle back under the mattress she headed to the galley. Onyx felt bad for going behind Jake's back but she was just trying to help him and she wasn't willing to lose him to addiction.

Onyx spent the rest of her day cleaning, making snacks for the guys(although they didn't call them that because _'men didn't eat snacks'_.), and hanging out with Phil. She barely saw the guys over the next eighteen hours except as blurs grabbing food and heading back out the door. She tried not to look as Jake made the occasional detour to their room, knowing he was going in there to take those pills made her sick to her stomach. When they finally came back inside the next morning Onyx had breakfast waiting for them. It seemed the boys were too tired to talk so they ate in silence. Jake held Onyx's hand loosely under the table as he rubbed her wrist with his thumb. The simple act comforted her and made her want to do nothing more than lay in his arms. She looked over at him and smiled as he shoveled scrambled egg into his mouth. Despite everything that had happened the day before and what she had found out about him to her Jake was perfect. Perfect for her at least. Onyx had a feeling that things weren't going to get easier for them in fact she felt they were going to get a lot harder, but she knew it would take an army to get her to turn her back on Jacob Harris.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next few days Onyx fell into the same daily routine. Cook, clean, hide some of Jake's pills, cook, sit in the wheel house with Phil, and then she cooked some more. The happiness she had felt just days before was quickly fading. She was constantly worrying about Jake and it was starting to take a toll on her. She'd found herself on the verge of tears twice just from looking at him. Onyx was also becoming increasingly lonely and checked the clock constantly counting down the hours until the boys came back inside. She would have never thought someone could feel so lonely on a boat full of people.

Onyx made Phil a sausage and egg sandwich and headed up to the wheel house desperate for some company.  
As soon as she got to the top of the stairs she saw Phil was unhappy.  
"What's wrong?" She asked  
He made a noise similar to an angry lion and pointed out the window. Onyx gazed curiously out the window and saw Dave sitting on the ground clutching his ankle.  
"Oh my god is he ok?" Onyx asked with concern.  
"He said he was fine, but he doesn't look very fine does he?" Phil retorted angrily. He rubbed his eyes wearily and reached for the hailer,  
"Forget it Dave just get your ass in here! You can't stay out there!"  
Dave stood up and limped to the door and Phil made his way downstairs to meet him. Onyx sat down on the bench and waited for Phil to return knowing Dave would be unhappy if she went down there.

Fifteen minutes later Phil returned with a look of frustration on his face.  
"What happened?" Onyx asked as Phil sat down angrily in his chair.  
"Basically... We're screwed. Dave can't work and we don't have time to take him to port. So we can't even pick up a temporary guy until his ankle is better."  
"What are you going to do Phil?"  
"What can I do?" He laughed but there was no mirth in his voice. "I guess I'm just going to have a four man crew. They're going to have to take turns doing bait. I can already hear them bitching about it."  
"Unless you already have someone else."  
Phil's eyebrows furrowed suspiciously but he let Onyx continue.  
"Someone who's young, fast, gets along with the crew, and is willing to do bait."  
"Yea that would be nice." Phil said trying to contain a laugh; he knew exactly what she was getting at.  
"Someone who won't get their feelings hurt if the crew yells at them, someone who would take the job seriously and promise not to mess anything up..."  
Phil cut her off, "Maybe someone who's name starts with an O and is married to my son?"  
Onyx feigned shock, "ME? I don't know Phil maybe if you think it's a good idea..."  
Phil threw his head back and laughed. Onyx stood anxiously hoping Phil would give her a chance.  
When Phil finally stopped laughing he turned to face Onyx, "Look shrimp I think you could do the job but Jake might throw me overboard if I let you go out there."  
"Phil please! I'm sure he'll come around if you just talk to him. I'm going stir crazy being inside all day!"  
"Hey I thought you liked sitting up here with me! I'm a pretty entertaining guy!"  
Onyx laughed, "I'm not above begging Phil."  
Phil sighed and grabbed the hailer, "guys come inside and Jake come up to the wheel house."  
Onyx threw her arms around Phil. "Thank you so much! Ill do a good job I promise!"  
He chuckled," yeah yeah. You better get out of the way before hurricane Jake gets up here."  
Onyx happily made her way downstairs and sat at the galley table.

Jake looked up at the sound of his name. "Fuck." He mumbled. _'What did I do now?'_ Ryan shrugged his shoulders at him as they all made their way inside. Jake looked at Onyx on his way to the wheel house and narrowed his eyes. She looked way too happy. He made his way slowly up the stairs bracing himself to get yelled at.  
Jake sat down on the bench behind his dad, "what do you want?"  
Phil took a drag of his cigarette before answering, "Dave's done working, at least for this trip."  
"Yea I figured." Jake said slowly. _Why would his dad call him up to the wheel house just to talk about Dave?_  
"You guys are going to have to take turns doing bait."  
"Fuck that pops! I'm not doing bait! Make Josh do it."  
Phil smiled to himself he had already known that was how Jake was going to respond.  
"No Jake your brother is not the bait boy anymore! Ryan is going to have to take more responsibility now so he can't do it all alone any more either. All of you are going to have to do it unless I get someone else."  
"This is bullshit dad get someone else!"  
"I already have. Onyx is doing bait."  
"Good." Jake replied as he made his way downstairs, he hadn't processed the second part of what Phil had said. He was halfway down the stairs when it clicked. Jake came thundering back up into the wheel house. "What the hell do you mean Onyx is going to do it?" He roared.  
Phil put out his cigarette," Exactly what I said. Onyx is the new bait boy. Bait girl I should say."  
Jake was turning red in the face, "No she isn't! Onyx is not taking one god damn step out there!"  
"This is my boat Jake. I decide who goes out on deck and who doesn't."  
"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding." Jake said breathing heavily, "She is only 100 pounds! The wind alone could send her halfway down the deck!"  
"Stop arguing Jake. I've made my decision if you don't like it get the hell off my boat."  
Jake was fuming there were a million things he wanted to scream at his father. Instead he turned and stomped all the way into the galley.  
Josh shook his head and looked at Onyx once the yelling had stopped, "You're in for it." Onyx gulped and looked up to see a fuming Jake enter the galley.  
"Hello my love." Onyx said sweetly  
"Come here." Jake replied through clenched teeth. He turned and walked to their state room without waiting for her. The crew exchanged looks as Onyx slowly walked to the state room.

Jake slammed the door closed as soon as Onyx entered. "So I hear your officially part of the crew...congratulations."  
Onyx was about to say thank you but bit it back when she say the look on his face.  
"I ummm." Onyx mumbled she had no idea what to say. Just minutes ago she felt triumphant and now she felt like a little kid in trouble.  
"Are you out of your mind?" Jake asked his voice shaking with anger.  
"I just want to help."  
"You went behind my back and asked my dad if you could go out there! Onyx you know I don't want you on deck!"  
Onyx stepped closer to Jake, "I don't care."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I said I don't care! Yes I know you want me to say inside but if I'm stuck in here for one more day I'm going To lose my mind! I'm going out there whether you like it or not! So suck it up Jake!"  
"Am I the only one on this boat who isn't crazy!" Jake asked as he waved his hands angrily through the air. "I'm trying to keep you alive!"  
Onyx laughed, "Jake you are the most dramatic person I have ever met! Ill be fine! I'm doing bait not working the rail. I understand you're worried about me but how do you think I feel when you're out there?"  
"Onyx its different and you know it."  
Onyx entwined her fingers with Jake's,  
"Jake it isn't different you don't think I worry that you're going to get hurt out there? I'm scared every day that I'm watching you go out on deck for the last time, but I know you wouldn't leave me."  
Jake sighed, "If something happens Onyx I won't be able to live with myself. I'd die." It was one of those rare moments that Jake showed his vulnerability. Moments like this made Onyx fall a little harder for Jake. Onyx wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. "Just give me one shot Jake and if your still unhappy about it I'll tell Phil I don't want to do it any more."  
Jake nestled his face into her neck, "Why did I have to fall in love with the most stubborn girl on the planet?"  
She laughed, "I guess your just lucky."

Phil gave them the rest of the evening off to the immense satisfaction of the crew. They had an early dinner and after chatting with the rest of the crew for a few minutes Jake led Onyx back to their room. He removed her clothes slowly and placed gentle kisses all over her body making her shiver and moan. Jake climbed on top of her and bit and sucked gently on her collarbone. Onyx sighed and moaned as Jake entered her. She arched her back and whispered his name over and over as she tried to control her breathing. This was the first he time made love to her in days. They had sex almost every day but it wasn't love making. It was always clumsy and rushed because they had so little time alone. This time it was slow and filled with passion. Onyx usually was able to stop from crying out, but she soon realized she couldn't control herself. She moaned loudly and knew everyone would be able to hear her. She covered Jake's shoulders in bite and scratch marks. Heat spread through Onyx's body and she dug her nails into his chest as she reached her peak. Jake closed his eyes and bit down on his lip to keep himself from moaning loudly as he released. Jake collapsed on top of Onyx breathing heavily on her neck. After catching his breath he rolled off of Onyx and pulled her close to him. Tears began to pool in Onyx's eyes and she quickly wiped them away before Jake saw. She loved him so much and she was so worried for him it was tearing her apart. Being this close to him made her realize how much she would lose if his addiction took over his life. The thought terrified her far more than going out on deck the next day.

The next morning Onyx was the last one outside Phil had called her up to the wheel house to give her some advice. She stepped out on deck in full gear complete with a life vest. Jake looked at her for a moment before throwing his head back and cussing fluently. Jake led her over to the bait area. When the smell hit her nostrils she had to fight back a strong urge to throw up. Jake unenthusiastically explained everything she had to do. He looked at her for a moment and bit his lip.  
"What?" Onyx asked  
He shook his head and walked away from her. Onyx heard more cursing spew out of his mouth.  
Onyx began preparing the bait. She had quite a few done when Freddie yelled, "alright here we go!" She grabbed some of her bait, ran across deck and dove into the pot. She tied it as quickly as she could and jumped back out. She continued the same process of preparing bait and then baiting the pots for hours on end. "Jacob!" Josh yelled from across the deck, "Onyx is doing fine! Can you stop watching her and do your job!" Onyx smiled and quickened her pace as she heard Josh say she was _'doing fine'._  
"Fuck you Josh!" Jake yelled back before tying the pot closed. Onyx's arms soon felt dead and her legs felt like jello. The bait was only 20 lbs less than she was, the boat kept rolling making it hard to balance, and she was hit by wave after wave. She showed no signs of pain or exhaustion she wanted to prove to the boys, especially Jake that she could handle it.

On a twenty minute run the crew headed into the ready room and Onyx dropped her head on Jake's shoulder and closed her eyes.  
"How do you feel?" Josh asked laughing  
"Awesome." Onyx said without opening her eyes.  
Jake rubbed her arms and back. Onyx was grateful she was incredibly sore.  
"How many hours have we been working?" Onyx asked  
"Fourteen. Only four more hours left."  
Ryan answered.  
"Don't worry only five days till end of first trip!" Freddy said laughing at the look on Onyx's face.  
Dave limped into the ready room to chat with the guys. He shot a sour look at Onyx, "Bite off more than you can chew princess?"  
"She's actually doing pretty good." Josh said stifling a yawn. The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.  
"Yea maybe Phil will want to keep me on deck...permanently." Onyx said in her most disgustingly sweet voice.  
Dave looked as if he was biting his tongue to keep from lashing out at her.  
Onyx stared at him challenging to say something. Dave shot her one last dirty look and headed back to his room.  
"You are a witch." Jake said laughing  
"He looked like he wanted to kill you." Ryan added.  
Onyx ran her fingers through her hair," I don't care what Dave thinks. I've been nothing but nice to him and he's been treating me like I'm beneath him since we met. I'm not the one who hurt his ankle! I'm not putting up with his shit anymore."  
The crew was silent for a moment before Ryan cleared his throat, "Do you have any friends... Who are just like you?"  
Everyone laughed even Jake who usually would have cussed someone out for less.

They head back out and the next four hours passed by excruciatingly slow. After what seemed like an eternity the crew headed inside. Dave had dinner ready for them and Onyx was pleased to see the guys exchange looks with each other before tentatively taking bites. When they were done eating hey headed straight to their bunks for a four hour nap. Onyx fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and she closed her eyes.

Two days later the crew was heading inside after working for 20 hours. Onyx was exhausted but she was at least getting a routine down on deck and doing her job pretty well. Jake headed to take a shower and Onyx made her way to their room. She closed the door behind her and lifted up the mattress to retrieve Jake's pills just like she did every day. She tilted the bottle sideways and let a few fall into her palm. Six had landed in her hand. She sighed deciding she should only take three. When she went to drop the extra pills back in she almost dropped the bottle in surprise. It was empty. "How can he only have six left?" She said aloud tears already forming in her eyes. She hadn't taken more than fifteen pills all together. The bottle had been a little over half of the way full a few days ago and it wasn't a small bottle. The only explanation was that Jake was increasing the amount of pills he was taking every day. She had already estimated he was taking between four and five a day. Now how many was he taking? Eight? Nine? Tears streamed down Onyx's face as she took one pill and dropped the other five in the bottle. She turned and walked the few short steps to the cabinet and opened her makeup box. Onyx dropped the lone pill inside with the rest then turned and climbed into her bunk. She sobbed into the pillow uncontrollably wishing desperately that she knew what to do. She heard the door open and held her breath to control her crying. Jake crawled into bed with her and Onyx tried to keep her body from shaking from tears. Jake wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the back of the head. Onyx heard his breathing deepen and knew that he had fallen asleep. Fresh tears fell onto the pillow. She felt Jakes heart beat against her back and cried harder. She knew that many addicts didn't have happy endings, and the day that heart stopped beating hers did too.

**Please please review :)  
I'd love to read  
anything and everything you have to say!**


	9. Chapter 9

please review!

It had been four days since Onyx discovered that Jake was almost all out of pills and his attitude had changed drastically towards her. He was cold, rude, angry, and his fuse was a lot shorter than usual which was saying something. Onyx knew exactly what had caused him to act like this. Jake had run out of pills. Knowing the problem didn't help her find a solution any easier. Even the rest of the crew had noticed something was wrong with him.  
He usually just fought with Josh but now he was even jumping down Ryan's throat. This was shocking considering Ryan got along with everyone.

A wave crashed over the deck knocking Onyx off of her feet. She slid a few yards down the deck and didn't even have time to collect herself before she was roughly pulled to her feet. Jake's fingers dug into her shoulders as he pulled her close to him.  
"What the fuck are you doing? Pay attention!" He screamed at her  
"What the hell Jake? I was facing the opposite direction!" She yelled back as she tried to pull away but his grip was to strong.  
Josh strode quickly over to them and pulled Jake away from her. "Stop being a fucking asshole dude! She didn't do anything wrong! What's wrong with you lately?"  
"Back off Josh this isn't any of your business!"  
Josh opened his mouth to retort angrily but before he could they heard Phil yell angrily over the hailer, "Jacob get the hell off my deck until you cool off."  
Jake pushed passed them and stomped off the deck into the ready room.  
Onyx turned and headed back to the bait area and continued working. Her lip trembled slightly as she forced herself not to cry. Josh started to walk over to her but Freddie placed a hand on his shoulder stopping him, "leave her alone man. She don't want us to see her cry."  
Jake returned a few minutes later and walked over to Onyx.  
"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear  
"I know." She replied shortly  
"I mean it."  
"I know you do, but I don't want to talk about it."  
Jake ran his fingers through his hair,  
"Are you mad?"  
Onyx sighed, "No Jake I'm not mad."  
Jake kissed her on the cheek and went back to work. Onyx cut open a cod with a bit more ferocity than she meant to and cut it completely in half. Jake had screamed at her and then apologized to her so many times in the last few days that she didn't have the patience to deal with it anymore. She hoped that when they headed in for their first off load they would be able to talk everything out without the risk of the crew interrupting them. Her biggest worry was that he would find more pills while they were there.

Ten hours later they were steaming to port and the crew headed inside. They were all pumped that the first trip was over and that they were going to get a full nights sleep. Onyx had agreed to cook dinner that night. Dave had cooked a particularly disastrous dinner the night before and they hadn't recovered enough to eat any more of his cooking just yet. The Crew sat around the table and everybody was in a good mood. Well almost everybody. Jake ate in silence. "What's wrong?" Onyx asked grabbing his hand. He pulled his hand away from her, "Nothing I'm just tired."  
Onyx rolled her eyes and continued eating. Jake stood up and stretched, "I'm going to bed."  
"You hardly ate anything." Onyx said as she gestured for him to sit back down.  
"I don't care." Jake mumbled as he walked out of the galley.  
Onyx looked down at her plate and tried to continue eating but she'd lost her appetite. When she looked up everyone was staring at her.  
"What?" She asked irritably.  
Nobody said anything but Josh smiled weakly at her. Onyx stood up, "I'm taking a shower." She sighed as the hot water washed over her. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. Her eyes sprang open as she heard the bathroom door open. She peeked around the shower curtain and narrowed her eyes, "What do you want?"  
"Can I join you?"  
Onyx rolled her eyes and stepped back under the hot water, "I guess."  
A few moments later Jake stepped into the shower and turned Onyx around to face him.  
"I'm an asshole." He mumbled  
"I know you are." Onyx snapped.  
"I'm sorry."  
"I'm tired of you telling me you're sorry Jake."  
"I know I'm sor.." Jake sighed, "I don't know what to say Onyx. I don't know how to be a good husband. I don't even know how to be a good son and brother."  
Onyx bit her lip and smiled, "your so stupid Jake."  
He laughed, "I know, but you married me so what's that make you?"  
Onyx smiled and kissed him.

When Onyx woke up the next morning Jake wasn't in bed with her. She bent over the edge of the bunk to ask Josh where he was but he wasn't there either. She wondered where they were since they didn't have any work to do. Onyx hopped off of the bunk deciding to go find them. She opened the door and walked directly into Jake.  
"Whoa tiger watch out," he said before kissing her on the cheek and pushing past her into the room.  
"Where were you?" Onyx asked  
"Wheel house." Jake replied as he climbed onto their bunk and sat down.  
"We've only got about two and a half hours left until we get to port." He continued.  
Onyx sat down on Josh's bed she was way to lazy to climb back onto her bunk with Jake.  
Onyx stretched," I'm so happy I finally get to see land. Even if it is only for a day."

Something huge collided with the boat knocking Onyx off of Josh's bed and onto the floor. She watched in horror as the cabinet doors flew open and sent her makeup box rolling across the floor. It sprang open sending pills across the floor. Onyx scrambled to pick them all up before Jake saw. Jake jumped off of the bunk, "It was just a wave babe don't worr..." Jake stopped mid sentence and Onyx's heart sank. She knew he had seen. Jake grabbed her roughly by the arm and pushed her up against the wall. "You've got two fucking seconds to explain to me why you've got my pills hidden in your make up box."  
Jake wasn't holding Onyx against the wall but she was still too scared to move.

Onyx stuttered, "I...I was trying to help you."  
"By stealing from me? I needed those fucking pills Onyx I get sick without them!"  
"Jake I was worried about you! I didn't know what else to do!"  
Jake stepped away from her and paced the room. "What the fuck were you worried about Onyx?"  
"Jake you're an addict! I can see it!"  
"Those pills help me!"  
Onyx had begun to cry but made no attempt so stop the flow of tears, "How the hell do they help you Jake?"  
"They help me forget the shit I don't want to remember."  
"Like what?" Onyx spat.  
"Like the fact that I married someone who can't fucking have kids! I'm never going to be a father because of you!"  
Onyx pushed him as hard as she could,  
"Go to hell Jake! It's not my fault you're an addict! I can't control the fact I can't have kids! I would if I could but I CAN'T! I can't believe you would hold that against me! Especially after everything I've given up for you."  
Onyx's heart was racing she had never been this angry before.  
Jake laughed mockingly at her, "What exactly have you given up?"  
"My whole life!" She screamed at him.  
Jake sat down on Josh's bed and lit a cigarette, "You know what Onyx your full of shit. You lie to me, you steal from me, and somehow I always end up the bad guy. If I would have known you were like this I never would have married you."

Jake watched as his words hit her like a sledgehammer. A fresh stream of tears slid down her face and she ran from the room. _'She's probably going to go run and cry to the guys. She's got to make sure everyone knows I'm the bad guy.'_ Jake thought bitterly. Jake was furious. He had been really sick without his pills and Onyx had them the whole time. Jake was relieved they were heading into off load, hopefully Onyx would leave and he would never have to see her again. He'd wasted so much time on her when he could have been out getting fucked up and hooking up with other girls.

Onyx ran up the wheel house stairs desperate to talk to someone. Anyone. Phil and Josh stopped mid conversation when she appeared at the top of the stairs. "Oh my god what happened?" Josh asked as he strode across the room and wrapped his arm around her. Onyx sobbed into his shoulder but couldn't get any words out. He led her over to the bench behind the captain's chair and she sat down. Phil got out of his chair and sat down on the other side of her. "Onyx you have to calm down." He said as he rubbed her back.  
She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes, "I'm leaving. I'm going back to California"  
"Why?" Phil asked calmly.  
Tears streamed out from under her eye lids, "Jake doesn't love me. I just need to get out of here."  
"Jake does love you Onyx." Phil said soothingly  
Onyx shook her head, "No he doesn't and nothing you say can change that."  
Phil told Josh to take the captains chair and continued to rub Onyx's back.

Two hours later Onyx was still sitting on the bench but she was no longer crying. She didn't have the strength to cry any more. Phil was back in the captain's chair and Josh was outside helping prepare the boat to dock. He kept shooting her concerned glances over her shoulder but this went unnoticed by Onyx who had been staring at her hands for the last hour.

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met." Josh spat at his brother  
"Fuck you Josh! What makes you think I care what you think." Jake yelled back angrily  
"Onyx is nothing but good to you and all you do is put her through hell!"  
"Well she doesn't have to worry about that anymore because I'm done with her."  
Josh shook his head, "I wish I knew what the hell happened to you."

Onyx felt a small bump when they finally  
docked. Phil turned to Onyx, "Look shrimp you're not going to California."  
Onyx looked up at Phil and raised an eyebrow. "You and Jake got into a fight..."  
Onyx interrupted, "It wasn't just a fight Phil."  
"Ok a big fight," Phil continued, "but you are family now and families don't leave each other behind. Ill rent you a hotel room for the night but I expect you back on this boat first thing in the morning. If you need anything and I'm not here look for me on the Northwestern they're here offloading too."  
Onyx decided it was best not to argue and nodded. She knew Phil would get his way in the end anyway.

Onyx hugged and thanked Phil and then headed outside. She looked straight ahead determined not to make eye contact with Jake and hopped off the boat. She walked a short distance to the hotel and got a room. After showering she decided to head to the bar and blow off some steam. When Onyx arrived at the bar it was packed even though it was relatively early. She sat down at the bar and looked around nervously. There was nobody around that she recognized, she was on her own. After a few minutes the bartender walked over to her, "What can I get you honey?" She said smiling at her  
"Oh I um… I don't know." Onyx replied slightly embarrassed.  
"Just get her a beer."  
Onyx turned to see Edgar Hansen standing behind her, "Hey beautiful." He said as he greedily looked her up and down. The bartender sat the beer on the counter and walked away.  
"So I'm finally going to get to buy you that beer." Edgar said smiling. He had a look in his eyes that said he was up to no good, and usually this would have made her nervous, but tonight all she wanted to do was forget. And Edgar Hansen seemed like the perfect man to get lost in.


	10. Chapter 10

Onyx took a tentative sip of her beer and was disgusted. "Ew this tastes horrible!" Onyx said as she pushed the bottle away from her. Edgar grabbed her beer and slid it back in front of her, "Don't worry you'll get used to it."  
Onyx laughed, "Your a bad influence."  
"Good influences don't have any fun." He replied.  
Onyx smiled and picked up the bottle, "I could definitely use some fun."  
Onyx quickly drank her beer but shuddered at  
the taste.  
Edgar pulled Onyx's stool closer to him and wrapped his arm around her.  
"So where's your husband beautiful?"  
"I don't want to talk about him."  
Edgar raised his eyebrows, "Why not?"  
Onyx slammed her now empty beer bottle on the counter, "Do you want to ask a bunch of questions about my husband or do you want to buy me another beer?"  
Edgar licked his lips, "I definitely want to buy you another beer."

Jake was standing on the Deck supervising Josh supervising the off loading process. "I don't need you to watch me!" Josh snapped at him, "I know how to do my job."  
Jake laughed, "I'm your boss Josh I can watch you if I want to."  
"Don't pull that boss bullshit with me right now Jake. I don't need another reason to want to punch you in your fucking face."  
"Dude I'm trying to help you out. I didn't do shit to make you want to punch me in my face."  
Josh turned to face his brother, "You know exactly what you did. I don't want you anywhere near me right now."  
Jake rolled his eyes, "What happens between me and Onyx isn't any of your business."  
Josh stepped closer to him, "You know what Jake it is my business! I love Onyx like a little sister. She's the best thing that ever happened to you but your to immature and naive to see it!"  
"Shut the hell up dude. You don't even know what you're talking about."  
"What the hell happened to you Jake? I don't even know who you are anymore."  
"Whatever man."

Jake headed inside at sat down at the galley table. Ryan was sitting across from him, "what's up dude?" He asked. Ryan shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat his bowl of cereal. After a few minutes Ryan looked up at him. "Where's Onyx?"  
"I don't know man! Why is everyone so fucking concerned about her?"  
Ryan shook his head and looked back down at his  
bowl.  
Jake looked up and saw Phil enter the room, "What's up pops?" He asked.  
"Get up to the wheel house now." He replied as he poured himself a cup of coffee.  
"Why?"  
"I said now Jake."  
Jake stood up and made his way angrily to the wheel house. _'Why is everyone on this fucking boat acting like this?'_ He thought angrily.  
Jake sat down in the co captains' chair and waited for his dad to come up.  
A few minutes later Phil came up the stairs and walked over to his son. Jake shifted in his seat uncomfortably it was clear his dad was fuming. After glowering down at his son for a moment he finally spoke. "What the hell is wrong with you Jake?"  
"What are you talking about pops?"  
"Don't play dumb with me Jacob. Did you know Onyx was planning on going back to California? Lucky for you I stopped her."  
"You should have let her go." Jake spat, "I don't ever want to see her again."  
Phil lit a cigarette and shook his head," I don't understand how someone as smart as you can do and say such stupid shit."  
"Marrying her was a mistake dad."  
"That's what I thought when you first told me you got married, but when I saw you two together I knew I was wrong. I don't know what happened between you two today but you love her Jacob and I probably shouldn't say this but nobody will ever love you the way she does."  
Jake shook his head but didn't say anything.  
"Jake I love you." Phil continued "But you're a hot head, you have horrible people skills, and you say things without thinking about how it's going to affect people. I couldn't put up with it if I was her but she does anyway. She's the first girl you took a chance on son, why do you think that was?"  
Jake shrugged his shoulders and looked out of the window.  
"Damn it Jake! Stop being so stubborn!" Phil roared, "How would you feel if you saw her with someone else one day?"  
An image of Onyx marrying a faceless stranger floated into his mind. She was smiling and wearing a beautiful dress. Onyx was getting the wedding she had wanted but Jake hadn't thought was important. The words he had screamed at Onyx that morning floated back into his mind, _'If I would have known you were like this I never would have married you.'_ Jake's whole body began to shake with tears. "Dad what do I do?" He asked quietly, "I messed up and I don't know how to fix it."  
"Go get her." Phil said simply.  
Jake placed his head in his hands and cried. Everything he had yelled at her echoed in his head. The way he had treated her made his insides bubble with guilt. "It's too late. She'll never forgive me." He said miserably as he looked up at his father.  
Phil gripped his sons shoulder, "Fine. Let her go because you thought it was too late, but could you live with yourself if you didn't try?"  
Jake shook his head.  
"Then. Go. Get. Her."

"Edgar I think I'm drunk." Onyx said laughing. Edgar took the empty bottle from her hand and sat it on the counter next to the other two bottles she had already consumed.  
"You really didn't drink that much." He said as he laughed.  
Onyx giggled, "This is the first time I've ever drank remember?"  
Edgar brushed Onyx's hair off of her shoulder and  
Leaned in to kiss her neck. Onyx stiffened as his lips touched her. She had been planning on doing something with Edgar mostly because the alcohol was clouding her judgment, but also because she wanted to get back at Jake somehow. It was fine when Edgar was just sitting close to her flirting but when he actually touched her it was too much. Onyx instinctively looked over her shoulder to see if Jake had walked in. Deep down she hoped he had.  
"Earth to Onyx!" Edgar said waving his hands at her.  
"Huh?"  
"You looked like a space cadet."  
"Sorry."  
He smiled at her for a moment, "So you're staying in a hotel tonight right?"  
Onyx nodded as she swayed slightly on  
her stool.  
"Want me to take you back to your room?"  
"Ok." She said as she slid off of the stool. She  
was too nervous and intoxicated to get back to her room by herself. Onyx began to feel uneasy as she realized Edgar hadn't had a drink all night.  
Edgar placed a hand on her back and led her towards to door. Once they were outside he outstretched his hand and waited for her to grab it.  
Onyx looked at it and hesitated. _'Snap out of it Onyx._' She thought to herself. She shouldn't have felt guilty just for holding someone's hand. Should she? Jake had basically told her they shouldn't have gotten married that morning and she was sure he didn't feel guilty about that.  
"What?" Edgar asked raising a questioning eyebrow at her.  
She bit her lip and shook her head, "let's just walk ok?"  
Edgar threw his arm over her shoulder instead.

Ten minutes later they arrived at her hotel. Edgar insisted on walking her to her room and she agreed solely because the look on his face said he was going to whether she said yes or not. "Well thanks for walking me back." Onyx said as she dug around in her tote bag for her room key. When she finally found it she dropped it on the floor.  
"Fuck." Onyx mumbled under her breath as she crouched down to pick it up. When she stood back up Edgar placed a hand on either side of her pinning her against the wall. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" He whispered into her ear.  
"I'm sorry I can't. You know I'm married."  
"That didn't seem like such a big deal back at the bar. Where is the kid anyway?"  
Onyx shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the floor.  
"If he matters so much why were you with me all night? Shouldn't you be with him right now?"  
"We got into a fight." Onyx said quietly deciding to be honest.  
"If he really cared he wouldn't have let you go out alone."  
Onyx looked back up at Edgar. He was right. "Well maybe you can come in for a little while."

Can I borrow your truck? Jake asked.  
Phil dug into his coat pocket and tossed him the keys. Jake nodded and stood up. He walked to the wheel house stairs but paused before he descended, "Thanks... for everything. I love you pops." Phil laughed. "I love you too. Now get the hell out of my wheel house." Jake hurried down the steps and out onto the deck. "Where are you going?" Josh asked.  
"To go get Onyx." Jake replied as he awkwardly rubbed his arm.  
"I'm proud of you."  
"I...uh thanks." Jake said as he turned and jumped off of the boat. Josh smiled as Jake hopped into the truck and sped off.

As soon as Onyx closed the hotel room door Edgar pressed his lips roughly against hers and led her to the bed.  
Onyx pulled away breathing hard, "Wait I'm sure about this."  
Edgar smirked and pushed her down on the bed. "Don't worry baby I know what I'm doing."  
Edgar climbed on top of her and began to kiss her neck. He moved back up to her lips and Onyx reluctantly let him push his tongue inside her mouth. Edgar sat up so that he was straddling her and pulled his shirt over his head.  
Onyx bit her lip and looked away. Edgar laughed, "Don't be nervous the kid can never make you feel as good as I can."  
He bent back down and kissed along her neck and collarbone as he roughly squeezed her breasts through her shirt.  
Onyx's brain felt cloudy and she couldn't think straight, but she felt dirty. Everything about this felt wrong and unnatural.  
"Edgar." She said suddenly  
"Hmm?" He replied as he sucked on her collarbone.  
"He was the first person I slept with."  
Edgar looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "Don't worry I'll be gentle."  
He slid his hands up her legs and began trying to pull her pants off. Onyx's heart began to race. It wasn't racing in the good way like when Jake touched her, she was panicking.  
"No." Onyx said as she pushed him off of her, "I want him to be the only person I've slept with."  
"Your joking right?" Edgar said angrily.  
Onyx crawled away from him to the edge of the bed.  
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have let it get this far. This isn't right I love him."  
"You're making a mistake."  
She shook her head, "No I almost did."  
Onyx jumped as someone banged loudly on the door. "Onyx it's me! Let me in, we need to talk."  
"Oh my god it's Jake!" Onyx said as she raced across the room to open the door not thinking about the fact there was still a half naked man sitting on her bed.  
She pulled open the door, "What are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly  
"Onyx I'm so sorry I'm such an idio..." Jake glanced over Onyx's shoulder and his eyes widened in shock and anger as he saw Edgar pulling his shirt on. He stormed into the room and punched Edgar as hard as he could causing him to knock into a night stand.  
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He screamed at the top of his lungs.  
Edgar rubbed his jaw and wiped a trickle of blood away. He laughed, "Calm down kid, you're wife is a tease. Nothing happened."  
"Get the fuck out." Jake said through clenched teeth. Edgar walked out of the room and Jake rounded on Onyx, "Grab your shit we're leaving." Onyx trembled as she collected her belongings and followed Jake out the door. Jake didn't say anything as they walked out of the hotel. He flexed his fingers as if he was itching to punch something else.

Once they were in the car Jake turned to her, "I want to know everything that happened and I mean everything."  
She told him everything that happened in detail. She stared down at her hands while she spoke. When she finished she looked up at Jake and was shocked to see him crying. "How could you let someone else touch you?" He asked softly.  
Onyx was already disgusted with herself but seeing Jake cry made it a million times worse.  
He had never openly cried in front of her before.  
She cried and he made it better. That was just how it worked.  
"Jake I was hurt and he was nice to me. I'm sorry. I didn't want him. I don't want anyone but you."  
Jake studied her for a moment, "I know you don't." They rode the rest of the way to the boat in silence. When they arrived they headed to their state room.  
Josh was lying in his bunk but stood up when he saw them enter. He patted Jake on the shoulder before exiting the room.  
Jake closed the door behind him and turned to Onyx, "So are we ok now?"  
Onyx bit her lip and shook her head, "I don't think so Jake."  
Jake rubbed his hands through his hair and sat down on Josh's bunk. "Why not?"  
Onyx took a deep breath, "I almost made a really big mistake tonight and I'm really sorry, but besides that there is still a lot wrong with us."  
"Like what?"  
"Jake you said a lot of stuff that really hurt me."  
"I know and I'm sorry."  
"Jake I'm tired of you saying your sorry all the time if you're going to keep doing the same shit over and over."  
"Onyx I'm trying I really am. Ill do anything to fix this!"  
"You need to get clean! You and I both know you're an addict even if you won't admit it."  
"I can control it." He said quietly.  
"No you can't Jake! You are not invincible!" She yelled back, "You're only nice to me when you're on drugs and you treat me and everyone else like shit when your not. That isn't normal Jake. You need help."  
Jake stood up and began to pace.  
"I'm not going to rehab." He finally said.  
Onyx sighed, "I don't think we should be together until you do."  
"Onyx please don't be like this. I can't lose you." He pleaded.  
"Then go to rehab."  
"I... I Can't."  
"Well then I don't know what to tell you."  
Onyx slid the ring Jake had given her shortly after they got married off of her finger and dropped it into his hand.  
She cleared her throat, "I promised Phil I wouldn't leave and I won't, but I think its best I sleep in the wheel house. I guess we'll figure something when we get back to Monroe."  
Jake stared at the ring in his palm. "Onyx please."  
"I'm sorry Jake I won't enable you anymore."  
Onyx turned and walked out of the room. The crew stared at her as she walked past them. She held her head high as she walked by but as soon as she was safely locked in the bathroom she broke down into tears. Onyx didn't want things to be like this but she was determined that Jake got clean. If Jake was going to overdose it wasn't going to be because she was allowing it to happen.

_[Chorus - Rihanna]  
just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
that's alright because i like the way it hurts  
just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
that's alright because i love the way you lie  
i love the way you lie_

_[Eminem - Verse 1]  
i can't tell you what it really is  
i can only tell you what it feels like  
and right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
i can't breathe but i still fight while i can fight  
as long as the wrong feels right it's like i'm in flight  
high off of love drunk from my hate  
it's like i'm huffin' paint and i love it the more i suffer, i suffocate  
and right before i'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me  
and i love it, wait, where you goin'?  
i'm leavin' you, no you ain't come back  
we're runnin' right back, here we go again  
so insane, cause when it's goin' good its goin' great  
i'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane  
but when its bad its awful, i feel so ashamed i snap  
whose that dude? i don't even know his name  
i laid hands on her  
ill never stoop so low again  
i guess i don't know my own strength_

_[chorus]_

_[Eminem - Verse 2]  
you ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe  
when you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em  
got that warm fuzzy feeling  
yeah them chills used to get em  
now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at em  
you swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em  
now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em  
you push pull each other's hair  
scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em  
so lost in the moments when you're in em  
it's the face that's the culprit, controls ya both,  
so they say it's best to go your seperate ways  
guess that they don't know ya  
cause today that was yesterday  
yesterday is over, it's a different day  
sound like broken records playin' over  
but you promised her next time you'll show restraint  
you don't get another chance  
life is no nintendo game, but you lied again,  
now you get to watch her leave out the window  
guess that's why they call it window pane_

_[Chorus]_

_[Eminem - Verse 3]  
now i know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean  
and we fall back into the same patterns, same routine  
but your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me  
when it comes to love you're just as blinded  
baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me  
maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems  
maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano  
all i know is i love you too much to walk away though  
come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk  
don't you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk?  
told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball  
next time i'm pissed ill aim my fist at the drywall  
next time there won't be no next time  
i apologize even though i know its lies  
i'm tired of the games i just want her back  
i know i'm a liar if she ever tries to fuckin' leave again  
i'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire_

**_Love the way you lie –Eminem ft. Rihanna_**

So certain parts of the song don't really fit them.  
But for the most part I think it does. The passion in it describes them really well :).

**Please Please review.  
I love to read everything you have to say :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Jake stood in the middle of his state room holding the bottle of pills he had gotten from a guy he knew at port. Onyx, true to her word slept in the wheel house the night before, and he was holding the reason in his hand. All he had to do to get his wife back was tell her he'd go to rehab. Simple as that.  
The only problem was it wasn't so simple. Jake did not want to go to rehab. He was only 23 and wasn't the fishermen's' motto work hard and play harder? He had a job and a place to live; it wasn't like he was some back alley junkie. He rested his head against his bunk and closed his eyes. "Fuck" he mumbled as he popped a few of the pills into his mouth. He turned around to head out on deck but jumped when he saw Onyx standing there.  
"Hey babe." Jake said hoping she hadn't been standing there long enough to see him take the pills.  
"You got more pills." Onyx said, her voice trembling. It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Jake knew he had been caught.  
"Phil said to hurry up and get outside. He wants to leave." Onyx continued without waiting for Jake to respond. She turned to leave but Jake grabbed her arm. "Onyx please don't be like this. I need you."  
She pulled her arm out if his grasp.  
"I need you to Jacob, but I need you sober."  
"Why is it such a big deal Onyx? I can still function. I can still work. I can still love you."  
"I don't understand how you can be so blind."  
Onyx turned, her hair whipping behind her and stormed out of the room. Jake kicked the door closed and began throwing things around. She had almost cheated on him and he let it go. Why couldn't she let this go? He was fine! Clearly Onyx was the one who was blind. Jake stashed his pill bottle under his mattress and made his way to the deck.

Onyx watched from the wheel house window as Jake made his way on deck. Even from the wheel house she could see he was fuming. He kicked a tote, screamed something she couldn't make out at Ryan, and then proceeded to tell everyone else on deck how to do their jobs. "Now I don't mind you sleeping in my wheel house but I would like to know why." Phil said as he settled himself in his captains' chair. Onyx shrugged her shoulders, "Jake and I are trying to work some stuff out." Phil nodded accepting her answer.  
Onyx was glad he didn't ask anything else.  
He always accepted whatever you wanted to tell him and never asked for more. For a moment she considered telling him about Jake's addiction. In the end she decided it wasn't her place. She wanted Jake to own up to his problem and tell Phil himself. "Dave's ankle is broken. He flew home this morning." Phil said bringing Onyx out of her daze.  
"Oh." Onyx replied, "That's too bad."  
Phil laughed, "I'm sure your real sorry to see him go. I guess you're still on deck shrimp."  
Onyx smiled, "I like being on deck."

A few hours later they were steaming to the fishing grounds and Onyx was in the ready room with the guys pulling on her gear. She threw her hair off of her shoulders and pulled it up into a pony tail. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jake watching her. She recognized the look on his face as desire but anger was also clearly etched there as well. A few minutes later they headed out on deck. Onyx headed to the bait area and began preparing bait. Even with her back turned she could feel Jake's eyes on her. She wished he understood why she was being this way but he was too stubborn to see anything from anybody else's point of view.

Onyx soon found that if you were trying to stay away from someone a boat was the absolute worst place to be. On deck Jake was always only a few feet away from her at the most, and as much as they tried they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. Luckily they had been working for nearly twenty hours and were both too tired to think about anything but going inside. A few hours later they headed inside and Onyx cooked them all dinner. They piled around the galley table and ate in near silence. Nobody knew what had happened between Onyx and Jake but the tension around the table was palpable. It was too much for Onyx who stood up and dropped her food into the trash. "Goodnight." She said as she made her way to the wheel house.

Jake watched as she left the galley. "Who has wheel watch tonight?" He asked  
"I do" Freddie replied through a mouthful of food.  
"Do you mind if I cover for you?"  
Freddie shrugged," I don't care."  
"Thanks."  
Jake finished his food and headed up to the wheel house.  
Phil looked at him curiously as he entered. "I thought Freddie had wheel watch tonight."  
Jake shrugged, "No I do."  
Phil eyed his son suspiciously, "Whatever."  
Phil headed into his room and closed the door behind him.  
Jake turned to see Onyx gathering up her things, "where are you going?" He asked.  
"If you have wheel watch I'm going to sleep in our room."  
"Onyx can you stop trying to avoid me. I'm not the plague. I just want to talk to you."  
Onyx sat back down in the co captains' chair and brought her knees up to her chest.  
"When are you going to give this up Onyx? You know we should be together."  
Onyx sighed, "When are you going to rehab?"  
"I'm not."  
"You know what Jake sometimes I wonder if I love you or hate you more."  
Jake was silent for a few moments. "What is that supposed to mean?" He finally asked sourly.  
"I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I'm only happy when I'm with you, but I hate how arrogant you are! You think your unstoppable and your not. You love those stupid fucking pills more than you love me. I don't want to have to compete with them Jake. I shouldn't have to."  
"I don't love them more than I love you. I love you more than anything."  
"If that were true you'd quit. I don't want to be a widow at eighteen Jake. I refuse to be."

Onyx stood up and left the wheel house.  
She sat down at the now empty galley table. There was no way she'd be able to sleep after that. She was so angry and frustrated with Jake  
She wanted to tie him up and drag him to rehab herself. Why couldn't he understand that she just wanted to help him?

The next few days were miserable for Jake. Whenever he entered a room Onyx exited it and on deck she just pretended he wasn't there. Onyx's plan of ignoring him until he quit drugs was making him do the exact opposite. He was now taking more and more pills just to get his mind off of her. Jake was standing on deck waiting for them to pull up to the next string completely out of it. It was taking everything in him to stay focused enough to work. He lost his balance slightly as the boat rolled and had to hold onto the rail. He saw Onyx shoot him a dirty look out of the corner of his eye. Jake watched as a massive wave approached but didn't process what he was actually seeing. The wave got closer and closer but still he said nothing. Onyx stopped to fix her boot directly in front of where the wave was going to crash. Suddenly it hit him.  
"Onyx watch out!" He screamed but he was too late. One moment a look of terror spread across Onyx's face and the next she was washed across the deck and slammed into the stack of pots. Jake's mind felt cloudy. There was no way that actually happened he had to have imagined it. When the water cleared Onyx was huddled in a ball and she wasn't moving. Jake's heart stopped, he hadn't imagined it. He raced across the deck and dropped to his knees next to her. "Onyx...Onyx please get up." He begged.  
Josh grabbed his shoulder, "We need to get her inside."  
Jake didn't move. "Please get up Onyx," He sobbed.  
"Jake come on!" Josh yelled.  
Jake snapped out of it and gently lifted up Onyx.  
He hurried her off the deck, the rest of the crew behind him. She moaned and stirred slightly in his arms. Jake laid her down on Ryan's bunk as it was the closest and kneeled down beside her. "Get out of the way!" Phil said as pushed himself through the cramped room. Jake stood up allowing his dad to take his place. Phil shifted slightly so Jake wouldn't see him check her pulse. He sighed with relief when he felt that she still had one. "Come on sweetie open your eyes." Phil said softly. It was silent except for the sound of Jake quietly crying. Josh wrapped his arm around him. "Come on Onyx wake up." Phil said more to himself than to her. After a few moments her eyelids fluttered open. "Are you OK?" Phil asked.  
"My back kills." Onyx replied wincing as she spoke.  
"Do you want me to take you back to port?"  
Onyx shook her head.  
"Are you sure?" Phil asked his voice full of concern.  
"Ill be fine." Onyx said.  
Phil stood up. "Alright shrimp. Ill come check on you later."  
He left the room and everyone followed except Jake.  
"Are you sure you're ok?"  
"Yes." Onyx replied shortly.  
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jake asked  
"No ill be fine."  
"Oh... Um ok."  
Jake turned and left the room. He headed to his own room and locked himself inside. He began to pace. Part of him had hoped that Onyx getting hurt would make her want to make up with him. He kicked the side of the bunk angrily as he passed. He looked up at his mattress and paused for a moment before reaching underneath it and pulling  
out his pills. He poured some into his hand and was about to put them in his mouth when something stopped him. Jake thought about the wave approaching and how long it had taken him to react. If he hadn't of taken so many pills he would have been focused and he could have told Onyx in time. She could have died and it would have been entirely his fault. Jake looked down at the pills in his hand and something hit him, reality. He left the room and made his way to the bathroom. Jake looked down at the toilet, already having doubts about what he was about to do. Something Onyx said to him a few days before floated back into his mind _'You love those stupid fucking pills more than you love me'_. Jake dropped the pills he was holding in his hand and the rest of the pills still left in the bottle into the toilet. What Onyx had said wasn't true, and he was finally ready to prove it.

Onyx stared up at the top of Ryan's bunk. Her back hurt too badly to move. She wished that Jake was keeping her company but him being around her just made it harder to resist him. Onyx jumped as the door opened causing excruciating pain to shoot up her back.  
"What do you want?" She asked as Jake entered the room. Jake closed the door and sat down at her feet.  
"We need to talk."  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "I don't want to talk right now Jake it never gets us anywhere."  
"Ill go to rehab."  
"Wh...what?" Onyx didn't believe what she was hearing. She'd wanted to hear those words so bad she was convinced she imagined them.  
Jake took a deep breath, "When we get home I'm going to go to rehab."  
"Why?"  
"It's my fault you got hurt."  
"No it isn't Jake."  
"Yes it is Onyx. I saw the wave coming but I was too messed up to tell you in time. You weren't moving and I... I thought you were gone."  
Onyx didn't know what to say. She wasn't mad, she felt bad for him.  
"I flushed the rest of my pills down the toilet. I'm done. I'm promise." Jake continued.  
Onyx began to cry. Jake had just uttered the words she had wanted to hear more than anything else.  
Jake brushed the hair off of Onyx's forehead, "Why are you crying?"  
"I thought I was going to lose you."  
"I don't deserve you Onyx." He laughed, "I would have left my ass a long time ago."  
Onyx smiled, "kiss me stupid."  
Jake lent down and kissed her. Relief spread through her the moment his lips touched hers. She was finally getting him back.  
She pushed him away from her, "Bring me back my wedding ring."  
Jake pulled it out of his pocket and slid it onto her finger.  
Onyx raised her eyebrows, "You've been carrying it around with you?"  
Jake's cheeks turned red, "don't worry about it."  
Onyx began to laugh but stopped as more pain shot up her back. Jake grimaced and carefully climbed over her to lay on her other side. He gently wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head. "For once I'm grateful for how stubborn you are." Jake said laughing. "You're lucky it hurts to move or I'd be all over you right now." She replied mischievously.  
"Oh yeah soooo lucky." Jake retorted sarcastically.  
Jake laid in Ryan's bed with her until Phil told him to go back out on deck, and even though her back was killing her Onyx fell asleep the quickest she had in days.

**Thanks so much for taking the time to read this story! :) **

**Please please review! I love the feedback :)**


	12. Chapter 12

It had been nearly a week since Jake had flushed the remainder of his pills down the toilet and agreed to go to rehab. As Onyx had expected he wasn't in the best of moods. The difference this time and the last time Jake had gone without pills was that this time Jake was actually making an effort to be nice. Part of Onyx felt guilty when she saw how sick Jake was without the pills, but the part of her that wanted him sober was a lot bigger.

The guys were out on deck while Onyx was inside cooking. She was incredibly irritated that she was stuck inside while the guys were outside working but the pain in her back barely permitted her walk around the inside of the boat. It had taken two days for her to be able to stay on her feet long enough to do more than just go to the bathroom or sit down at the galley table. Even if her back had been feeling better she knew that Jake was never going to let her out on deck again. Especially since he was still blaming himself for her getting hurt despite her telling him numerous times it wasn't his fault. Onyx slowly made the guys' plates and then carefully sat down at the galley table. She was incredibly bored being the cook again, and now she couldn't even sit with Phil in the wheel house because she couldn't make it up the stairs.

A few minutes later the guys came in and piled around the table. Jake leaned in and kissed Onyx on the cheek. "How do you feel?" He asked as he gently rubbed her back. "Like shit. How do you feel?" She replied. Jake forced a smile, "I'm ok." Onyx knew he was lying for her sake and was grateful for it.  
She pulled him toward her by his neck and kissed him. When he pulled away he was wearing his playful smile. "What was that for?" Jake asked. Onyx shrugged her shoulders and began to eat. He eyed her suspiciously for a moment before he looked down at his plate and started to eat as well. When everyone was finished eating Jake picked up Onyx and carried her to their room and dropped her clumsily onto the bed. Josh had agreed to trade bunks with them so Onyx wouldn't have to climb. Onyx folded her arms across her chest, "I can walk you know."  
Jake smirked, "yeah like at one mile per hour."  
"That's not true."  
"Yes it is."  
"Not so much."  
"You're in denial."  
"Jake ill kill you."  
"I'm not fooled by all those tattoos Onyx I know you're about as much of a threat as a..."  
Onyx punched Jake in the stomach cutting him off mid sentence and causing him to double over.  
Jake rubbed his stomach as he sat down on the bed next to her, "I hate when you do that."  
Onyx laughed, "I gotta keep you in check."  
Jake rolled his eyes and kissed her on the forehead. He laid down and patted the bed signaling Onyx to lay down next to him. She slowly laid down and rested her head on his chest. "I'm sorry you're sick," She mumbled. Jake rubbed her back, "It's my fault babe not yours." He paused,"Just like its my fault your hurt."  
"How many times do I have to tell you it wasn't your fault? It was an accident."  
"Just because you tell me its not my fault doesn't change the fact that it is."  
"Jake there's a 100% injury rate working out here" Onyx laughed, "It even says it on t-shirts."  
"Why can't you ever be serious?"  
Onyx sighed in frustration, "Jake it wasn't your fault! And besides I'm fine!"  
He snorted, "You can barely move without wincing and you can't walk from one end of the boat to the other without taking a break I don't call that being fine."  
"But it's getting better every day Jake. It will probably be back to normal by the end of the trip. Just forget about it."  
"Every time I close my eyes I see you laying there not moving Onyx. I thought I'd lost you. I couldn't have lived with myself if you would have died. I would have jumped off of the boat... or something."  
Onyx pulled herself up so that she was lying on top of him and ran her hands through his hair, "Jake you are so dramatic. I think me getting hurt was a blessing in disguise."  
Jake wrapped his arms around her. "How?" He asked.  
"It made you want to get clean didn't it?"  
"I guess your right."  
"I'm always right."  
Jake smiled and gently kissed her. He rubbed her back until he finally fell asleep. Onyx lay awake, the pain in her back made it hard to sleep. She felt bad for Jake she knew nothing she said made his guilt go away. They'd had almost the same conversation every night for days. Onyx honestly didn't blame him. They'd all been hit by waves before, many times. Nobody could have known that wave was going to be the one to finally hurt someone. Even though Jake didn't say anything nobody else said anything either and she was the one who stood right in its path. Onyx didn't care all that much that her back hurt anyway she was too happy about Jake agreeing to go to rehab. He hadn't even been sober a week but she was still incredibly proud of him. He didn't complain about being sick, he didn't walk off of deck early, and he was even trying to get along with Josh. Onyx saw him manage to hold his tongue several times while talking to his brother even though he was itching to blame something on him or tell him the _'proper'_ way to do his job.

Just as Onyx was starting to drift off to sleep Jake slid her off of him so he could go out on deck. Onyx pouted as he pulled on his sweatshirt, "I wish you could stay in bed in with me."  
Jake yawned, "Me too but we need the money. Especially since you're going to be on your own while I'm in rehab." That was the part Onyx was looking the least forward to. Being without Jake. They had agreed he would do a thirty day program instead of the usual ninety days because he needed to be home for the start of Opilio season, but thirty days still felt like an extremely long time to be away from him. "And we both know how you like to waste money." Jake continued.  
Onyx threw a pillow at Jake but he dodged it.  
"I don't waste money!" Onyx replied indignantly.  
Jake snorted, "and what do you call the Harry Potter figurines you bought before we left?"  
"An investment."  
Jake shook his head and laughed.  
"Do you want me to get a job when we get back?" Onyx asked.  
Jake bent down and kissed her, "No. I told you I was going to take care of you remember?"  
Onyx smiled she remembered the night he had told her that very well. It was the same night he proposed and stopped her from going back to California. It seemed almost impossible that it had only been a little over two months since he had said it. They had been through so much it felt like years. Jake left the room and after a while Onyx finally drifted off to sleep.

When Onyx woke up she was relieved that her back was hurting a little less. It was now only hurting when she made sudden movements. Unfortunately because of the constant rolling of the boat most movements were sudden. She decided to try and make it up to the wheel house  
since she hadn't sat and talked to Phil in days. After a few minutes of tiny steps and cursing Onyx made it to the top of the stairs. "Hey Phil!" She said happily.  
"Hey shrimp!" He replied with a chuckle, "How are ya?"  
Onyx shrugged and sat down on the bench, "better."  
"How are you and Jake?"  
Onyx smiled, "better."  
Phil turned to look at her, "That's good to hear. I was worried."  
Onyx looked down at her lap, "why?"  
"I was starting to think that you were going to leave him. If you would have left I would have lost my son forever."  
Onyx looked up at Phil and shook her head, "Till death do us part remember?"  
Phil smiled and turned around, "You're a good kid shrimp."

Two days later Onyx was in the galley making cupcakes at Ryan's request. The guys had been outside eighteen hours and were due back in any minute. Onyx's back was now almost completely better, but she would still get a small twinge of pain every once in a while. She wished Jake was doing as well. He didn't say anything but she could tell he really wanted his pills back. He always wore a smile around her but when he thought she wasn't looking his smile turned into a grimace.  
After about twenty minutes the boys walked into the galley "cupcakes?" Ryan asked hopefully.  
Onyx laughed as she picked up the tray of cupcakes and sat them on the table. Ryan reached across the table, grabbed two cupcakes, and began eating them both. Onyx slid in next to Jake and rested her head on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Jake shrugged, "I'm fine."  
"Do you want a cupcake?"  
"Nah I don't want to eat anything."  
"Want to lay down?"  
Jake nodded and they stood up and headed to their room. Once they were snuggled together under the blankets Onyx turned to look at him.  
"Talk to me Jake."  
"About what?"  
"Just tell me how you feel."  
Jake rubbed his eyes wearily, "I didn't think it would be this hard."  
Onyx moved closer to him and laid her arm over his waist. "What do you mean?"  
"I always thought I could stop taking the pills without a problem. I didn't know my body was going to feel like its falling apart. While I'm on deck they are all I can think about."  
Onyx didn't know what to say. She felt horrible that Jake was feeling this way.  
"But then I come inside and see your face and I remember that I need you more than I need the pills." He continued.  
Onyx kissed his shoulder, "I'm sorry I cant make you feel better Jake, but ill be there for you no matter what. Ill never turn my back on you."

Two days later they were steaming back to Dutch for the final off load of the season.  
For most of the crew it just meant going home and getting paid but for Jake it meant thirty days in rehab. "Hey Josh can I talk to you for a second?" Jake asked as his brother walked past him.  
"Um ok." Josh replied as he turned around to face his brother.  
"In private?" Jake added.  
They walked into their stateroom and Jake closed the door behind them  
"What do you want to talk about?" Josh asked.  
"I'm... a drug addict." Jake said quickly.  
Josh sighed, "I know Jake."  
Jake was taken aback, "How do you know?"  
"You're my little brother." Josh replied simply  
"Well I'm going to rehab as soon as I get home."  
"I'm proud of you."  
"Uh...yeah." Jake looked away uncomfortably," Well I won't get to talk to you or pops for a month and I didn't want you guys to worry so when he asks where I am will you just...I don't know think of something?"  
Josh nodded, "So is this what you and Onyx were fighting about?"  
"Yea... You were right when you said I changed and you didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know I was anymore either."  
"I love you man, "Josh said as he pulled his brother into a hug.  
"I love you too" Jake said quietly.  
Jake pulled away and smiled uncomfortably at Josh before exiting the room. He was trying his best to act like he wasn't nervous about going to rehab, but the truth was he was scared. What happened if rehab didn't work and Onyx left him?  
There was no way he could go back to life the way it was before her. She had turned his whole world around and whether she knew it or not she was saving his life in more way than one. Jake walked into the galley where Onyx was sitting talking to Ryan. Jake slid in next to her kissed her lightly on the shoulder. "How are you?" She asked.  
"Good." He replied. She looked him up and down suspiciously. Jake laughed," I mean it I feel good."  
"I love you." Onyx mouthed. Jake winked stretched out.

Ten hours later they arrived at Dutch and Onyx jumped off of the boat. "Onyx! How many times do I have to tell you not to jump off of the boat by yourself?" Jake yelled.  
Onyx flipped him off. "You're going to regret that." Jake said playfully as he jumped onto the dock.  
Onyx tried to make a run for it but Jake was quicker than her. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Take it back." He demanded.  
"Never." Onyx replied before licking her finger and shoving it into his ear. Jake instantly dropped her and began rubbing his ear frantically. He gave her a disgusted look, "You're gross." Onyx threw her arms around his neck, stood on her tippy toes, and kissed him. Jake smiled, "alright that makes up for it."

Instead of heading to the bar like the guys usually did at the end of the season Jake and Onyx headed straight to the airport. Jake wanted to get to rehab as soon as possible before he ended up backing out. Jake fell asleep within minutes of the airplane taking off but Onyx sat staring out of her airplane window. Her mind was racing from a mixture of worry and excitement. She was excited that Jake was going to get clean but she was worried something would happen and make him want to leave early. She was excited to get home and sleep in real bed but she was sad Jake wouldn't be sleeping in it with her. The few nights she had slept in the wheel house without him had been miserable and she couldn't imagine what thirty days was going to be like.

**Thanks for taking the time to read this!  
Please review :) I love the feedback!**


	13. Chapter 13

"I wish I could go with you." Onyx said frowning.  
Jake snorted, "you wish you could go to rehab with me?"  
"Well no but I wish we had more time together."  
"It's now or never babe."  
Jake and Onyx had just arrived home to Monroe, Washington after a long flight from Anchorage, Alaska. They were curled up in bed trying to spend as much quality time together as possible before Jake left for rehab the next morning.  
"It's stupid they won't let me have any contact with you." Onyx said angrily  
Jake stroked her hair," I know but distance makes the heart grow fonder."  
"Do you really believe that?"  
Jake laughed, "Not really."  
Onyx sat up and threw her leg over Jake's waist so that she was straddling him.  
"I'm going to miss you so much." She said quietly.  
"I'm sure you'll find some dude to occupy yourself with while I'm gone."  
Onyx slapped him on the chest, "You know I hate when you say stuff like that."  
Jake grabbed her arms and flipped her over so that he was on top of her.  
"I'm just kidding." He said as he leaned down to kiss her.  
"Yeah yeah," Onyx mumbled as she struggled to pull his shirt off. Jake pushed her hands away and sat back on his heels, proceeding to pull his shirt off himself. He slowly unbuttoned Onyx's jeans and peeled them off of her legs. Jake pushed her shirt up exposing her stomach and bra and placed kisses along her stomach and hip bones before pulling her underwear off. Onyx pulled her shirt over her head and pulled Jake back down to her by his belt. Jake explored her mouth with his tongue making her moan slightly. Onyx clumsily undid his belt and pushed his pants and boxers over his hips. Jake pulled them off the rest of the way and tossed them off of the bed. Jake pushed his hand under Onyx's bra and massaged her breast momentarily before grabbing the fabric and yanking it off of her completely. Onyx broke the kiss. "What's wrong?" Jake asked.  
"Was it necessary to rip my bra off like that?"  
Jake rolled his eyes and leant back down to kiss her. Jake pushed himself inside of her causing her to once again pull out of the kiss. "Jake!" She moaned into his ear. The louder she moaned the faster he thrusted inside of her. Jake panted as he tried to stop himself from releasing early. Onyx balled the sheets in her fists and added more scratches to the considerable amount Jake already had on his back. She arched her back and pulled Jake's hair as she reached her peak. Moments later Jake moaned and bit down on Onyx's shoulder as he came. After a few moments Onyx pushed Jake off of her and then curled up next to him. Jake sighed and wrapped his arm around her, "I can't believe I have to go without that for thirty days."  
"I'm sure you'll find some dude to occupy yourself with while I'm gone." Onyx mocked.  
Jake laughed and pulled Onyx closer to him. He placed a kiss on the back of her head, and soon they both drifted off to sleep.

When Jake woke up the next morning Onyx was still fast asleep. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he realized this was the last time he'd get to wake up next to her for a month. He checked the time and frowned when he saw he had to leave in an hour. He reached over and shook Onyx. "Wake up babe." He said while trying to stifle a yawn. "No." Onyx mumbled into the pillow.  
"Alright well I'm leaving I guess ill see you in thirty days." "Fine ill get up." Onyx mumbled as she turned to face him. Onyx narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "Your still naked asshole its not time to leave." Jake shrugged his shoulders, "my mistake." Onyx flipped him off before wrapping the sheet around her and heading into the bathroom. Jake pulled his boxers on and began throwing some of his clothes into a duffle bag. When he finished he turned to see Onyx standing in the doorway of the bathroom with tears sliding down her face. Jake strode across the room and pulled her into a hug. "Its ok Onyx. I won't be gone that long and when I get back we'll have two weeks together before Opilio season."  
Onyx cried into his chest," Your all I've got Jake out here Jake. I don't even know what to do without you here."  
"Jason is here Onyx I'm sure he misses you and you've been saying you want to decorate the apartment so it looks less like a bachelor pad. Just no stuffed animals on the bed please." Onyx laughed and wiped away her tears. Jake held her for a few moments before he decided he should finish packing.

Forty five minutes later Onyx was standing outside of the airport with Jake. This time it was Jake who was crying as he held her. Both of them seemed unable to speak. Finally Jake wiped his eyes and pulled away from her," I better go inside." He said quietly. Onyx nodded, "Take care of yourself ok? I just want you to hurry up and get better so you can come home."  
"Don't worry baby ill be fine. If you go out please make sure its with Jason. I don't want to worry about whether your safe or not."  
"I probably won't leave the house the whole time you're gone."  
Jake looked at her sadly and opened his mouth but no more words wanted to come out. "I was kidding." Onyx added. Jake sensed only part of her was joking.  
Jake frowned and kissed the top of her head. "See you in a month." He mumbled. Jake turned and walked through the airport entrance.

Onyx stood motionless for a few minutes. Part of her wanted Jake to come running back out and tell her he wasn't going, but she knew him leaving was for the best, and that he wouldn't of even been going if she hadn't of wanted him to so bad. Onyx walked slowly back to the car and got in. When she got back to the apartment she headed straight to their room and pulled on Jake's favorite red hoodie. Onyx smiled as she zipped it up, she knew Jake left it there for her on purpose. She curled up under the blankets and closed her eyes hoping she might be able to fall asleep.

Jake rested his head against the airplane window and watched the cities pass by below him. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought he would be on his way to rehab at twenty three. He blasted his ipod to try and block out his thoughts but images of Onyx all alone in their apartment floated in and out of his thoughts. What if she met someone else while he was away or something happened to her and he wasn't there to take care of her?_ 'She'll be fine'_ he told himself over and over but he still felt uneasy.

When Onyx woke up it was already late in the evening. She checked her cell phone and saw she had four missed calls from Jason. She had really missed Jason but she just wasn't up to talking to anyone at the moment. Onyx forced herself out of bed and walked to the living room. She sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. Onyx stared at the screen but didn't really process what she was watching. _'Snap out of it its not like he's gone forever' _She thought, trying to snap herself out of her funk. Unfortunately knowing that he wasn't gone forever didn't make her feel any better about the fact he wasn't with her right now.

A week later Jake was sitting in group therapy listening to a counselor drone _'this is bullshit' _Jake thought as he slid down in his chair. Jake was starting to think that he didn't belong in rehab. It was full of junkies who did nothing but complain about their fucked up childhoods and blame their problems on their parents. "What made you turn to drugs Jacob?" The forty-something scrawny counselor asked.  
Jake sat back up in his chair, "uh what?" Jake asked  
"What made you turn to drugs?" The counselor repeated patiently. Jake folded his hands in lap, "I'm not scarred by some traumatic childhood event. I just like to get fucked up."  
Jake noticed a few people in the group exchange glances which only irritated him more. The counselor smiled at Jake, "why do you like to get 'fucked up'?"  
Jake rolled his eyes," I just do ok. I'd bet money you couldn't find a fisherman who doesn't do drugs or at least tried them."  
"Why do you think fisherman do drugs?"  
"It's just part of the lifestyle."  
"Why?"  
"Why don't you move on to someone else?" Jake snapped.  
The counselor nodded and started talking to the guy next to him. Jake slid back down in his seat. If he wanted someone to ask him a bunch of useless questions about why he liked to get high and ramble for a month he would have just told his dad.

Onyx was sitting in a restaurant with Jason. He had called her to hang out numerous times and after a week she finally gave in and answered. "Cheer up sweetie." He pleaded as he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Onyx pulled her hand out of his grasp and picked up her glass instead. "I'm fine." Jason shook his head, "Onyx this isn't healthy."  
"What isn't healthy."  
"The way you guys act over each other. You act like you can't live without each other. Frankly it's weird."  
"It's called being in love Jason." Onyx snapped.  
"Whatever Onyx. He'll only be gone three more weeks and your acting like you'll never see him again."  
"You act like he's on vacation he's in rehab its different, and if you spent every single day and night with someone you'd understand."  
"I used to spend every single day and night with you remember? But then you met him and I lost my best friend."  
Onyx sighed, "I'm sorry Jason. When we get back from Opilio season I promise we'll spend more time together."  
"You're going back out there? Are you crazy?"  
"Fishing the Bering Sea is a part of my life now. I'd miss it if I didn't go back."  
"You're crazy Onyx."  
"Whatever Jason I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's just order ok?"  
Jason rolled his eyes and looked down at his menu.  
Onyx stared down at her menu but wasn't reading it. She was irritated with Jason for not understanding the way she felt. She was also upset that he was making her feel guilty for not hanging out with him with all the time. She had been married for under three months, one of which was spent at sea. It was natural that she wanted so spend as much time with her husband as possible. Wasn't it?

At 9:00 that night Jake was laying in bed. They were required to be back in their room at 8:30 _'This is fucking retarded.'_ Jake thought angrily, _'I'm not a little kid'_. Jake just wanted to get back home back home to Onyx. Getting to spend two weeks alone together before Opilio season was what was keeping him going He reached under his pillow and pulled out a picture of Onyx. He smiled at the stupid face she was making. "Aw how cute." His Roommate said as he snatched the photo out of his hand. "Damn who's the babe? There are so many things I would love to do to her." He continued. Jake jumped up and snatched the picture back out of his hand before pushing him.  
"Shut your fucking mouth." Jake warned.  
"Or what?" his roommate mocked  
"Or ill fucking kill you junkie." Jake spat.  
"Dude calm down." his roommate said as he sat down on his own bed. He eyed Jake wearily for a moment before he laid down and turned his back on him. Jake laid back down breathing heavily and shoved the picture back under his pillow.  
He hated the ways guys talked about Onyx like she was a piece of meat. It drove him crazy. If anyone ever hurt her he would have killed them if it came down to it. He began to worry that some guy would take advantage of her while he was gone. If Jake was only 120 lbs and it was easy for him to pick her up and throw her around it would be beyond easy for an average sized guy to hurt her. He desperately hoped she wasn't going anywhere without Jason.

Two weeks later Onyx was lying on the couch watching a movie. The last three weeks had gone by impossibly slow and she couldn't believe he would be home in a week.  
She wondered how he was doing and hoped he was taking everything seriously. She knew Jake could be very stubborn especially if he felt like he was being attacked. She hoped he missed her as much as she missed him. Onyx felt an almost constant aching for him.

Jake was sitting in group therapy with his arms crossed. This was his least favorite part about rehab, listening to people say the same shit over and over. "Jacob when are you going to let us in?" The counselor asked.  
Jake rolled his eyes, "I don't know any of you people why should I?"  
"Because everyone has dealt with the same demons you have. There's only one week left in the program I think you will regret it if you don't start taking it seriously."  
Jake took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair, "Whatever man."  
The counselor shook his head sadly, "What about your wife?"  
"What about her?" Jake spat.  
"What would she say if she knew you weren't taking this seriously?"  
"Man don't fucking mention my wife ever again. Move on to someone else."  
The counselor looked at him for a moment before turning his attention to the guy across from him. Jake spent the remainder of therapy staring at the ceiling. That night he skipped dinner and went straight to his room. He kicked a night stand and then threw himself of the bed. 'I can't wait to get out of this fucking hell hole.' He thought miserably. Jake had thought rehab was going to be a life changing experience that was going toCure him but now he knew it was just a waste of time.

A week later Onyx was standing outside of the airport waiting anxiously for Jake to arrive. She got excited every time she saw a guy in a backwards baseball cap or a beanie but was disappointed every time. After twenty minutes of anxiously standing on her tippy toes and peering over the crowd she finally spotted who she was looking for. "Jake!" She screamed happily. Jake smiled and sped up. Onyx didn't realize just how sick Jake had looked before he left until right then. There were no more bags under his eyes and he just seemed more '_alive'_ all together. When Jake got close enough to her she ran and jumped into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and placed a hand on each side of his face. Onyx kissed him passionately and couldn't bring herself to pull away. She'd desperately missed the taste of his lips. After a few minutes Jake sat her down and placed another kiss on her lips. "Let's go home." Onyx said happily.

As they drove home Onyx couldn't stop looking at Jake.  
"Can you watch the road we're going to crash." Jake said laughing.  
"I'm sorry! I just missed you so much!"  
Jake leaned over and kissed her on the neck," I know I missed you too."  
"So how was it?" Onyx asked.  
"It was a waste of time."  
Onyx turned to look at him, "what?"  
"It was fucking stupid I hated it."  
Onyx's smile faltered, "So..so you didn't take it seriously?"  
"No only an idiot would have taken that shit seriously."  
Jake noticed the look on Onyx's face. "Don't worry babe. I stopped taking the pills on my own didn't I?"  
Onyx nodded.  
"Well then I can stay off of them on my own" Jake continued.  
Onyx bit her lip and smiled weakly at him.  
"Ok."  
Onyx gripped the steering wheel tightly. She had been scared that Jake wouldn't take rehab seriously and her fears had been confirmed. Jake said he could stay sober on his own and now she would just have to trust him and see what happened.

**Please review!**

**I love reading them! **

**Only four chapters left! :)  
**


	14. Chapter 14

Over the next two weeks Onyx and Jake spent nearly every moment together. Leaving for king crab season and then Jake going to rehab had put developing their relationship on hold. All they had really known before King crab was that they were in love. On the boat they had encountered challenges that neither one knew how to handle, nor were they prepared for them. Onyx had never expected she would be in love with a drug addict, and Jake never thought he would be with someone he could never have children with. Despite everything they had only fallen harder for each other.

"Jake!" Onyx called as she folded a pair of jeans and shoved them into her duffle bag, "You need to start packing!"  
"I don't want to pack." Jake replied as he walked into their bedroom and sprawled out across the bed. Onyx yanked a sweatshirt out from underneath him and folded it. "Why not?" She asked as she dropped it into her bag.  
"Because I don't want to go back yet."  
"Don't you miss getting to argue with Josh whenever you want?"  
Jake laughed, "Not really."  
Onyx laid on her stomach and kissed him.  
Jake smiled, "That's why I don't want to go back."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I can't just chill with you like this on the boat. I don't see you all day and when I finally do I'm exhausted. It sucks."  
Onyx shrugged," Its better than the alternative."  
"Which is?"  
"Me staying behind. Then we wouldn't see each other until the end of the season."  
Jake rubbed his eyes, "Yeah I know."  
Onyx sat up and continued folding clothes, "If you wait until  
the last minute I'm not packing your shit for you."  
Jake sighed in frustration and walked over to the closet. He began pulling his clothes out and tossing them on bed. Jake shoved them unceremoniously into his bag. "I'm packed." He said as he threw himself back down onto the bed. Onyx laughed and rolled her eyes, "You never cease to amaze me Jacob." Jake smirked, "You like it." Onyx snorted, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Jake grabbed her and in one swift moment had her pinned down beneath him. "What are you doing?" Onyx began, but before she could finish Jake began to mercilessly tickle her. Onyx squealed and tried to get away from him. Jake laughed as she struggled beneath him.  
"Jake you better stop." Onyx warned breathlessly  
"Or what?" Jake replied as he continued to tickle her.  
"Or this is the last time your hands will be anywhere near my body for a very long time."  
Jake held up his hands in surrender. "No need to get crazy." He said as he climbed off of her. Onyx sat up and straightened out her shirt before continuing to pack, "Can you double check that you packed everything you need please?"  
"No problem mom." He replied sarcastically as he began digging through his duffle bag.  
Onyx flipped him off without stopping what she was doing. Jake saw out of the corner of his eye and smiled slightly.

Two days later Onyx and Jake had just landed in Anchorage and were outside of the rental car place waiting for their car.  
Onyx was spinning around in a circle catching the snow on her tongue. Jake laughed, "What the hell are you doing?"  
"I'm from California remember? The snow is still new to me."  
"You better enjoy it while you can because you're going to hate the snow in a couple of days."  
Onyx laughed, "You're such a buzz kill Jake."  
A few minutes later their car was ready and they began the drive to Unalaska. Onyx stared out of the window at the snow covered landscape. She was surprised by how much she had missed the Cornelia Marie. Onyx had missed Phil the most, sitting up in the wheel house with him had kept her sane a lot of the time. She had been told that the Opilio season was a lot more dangerous than King Crab and was really nervous about it even though she wouldn't be on deck. What Onyx was most nervous about was Jake. She was worried he would get hurt on deck and get prescribed pain medication. Jake had continued to be sober after rehab like he said he would but he hadn't had the opportunity to test his commitment to sobriety. She had thrown every pill out of the house while he was gone. There wasn't so much as an aspirin left. Onyx knew Jake didn't pick up more pills from anyone even if he had wanted to because she had been with him constantly over the last two weeks. Onyx closed her eyes and leaned back against the head rest. _'Trust him.'_ She thought to herself.

When they arrived in Unalaska Jake drove straight to the local bar just like he had the last season. He grabbed her hand and led her inside of the crowded bar. They made a bee line to Josh who was sitting at a table with Ryan. Josh's face broke into a wide smile when he saw them coming toward them. When they got to the table Josh stood up and pulled his brother into a tight hug. "Look at you man! You look good!" Josh said happily. "I feel good." Jake replied with a smile. Onyx gave Josh and Ryan each a quick hug and then gave Jake a kiss on the cheek, "I'm going to go say hi to Phil ok?"  
Jake nodded, "Ill be over there in a few minutes."  
Onyx turned and wove her way through the crowd of fisherman to the captains' table. "Phil!" She said excitedly  
Phil looked up and smiled, "Hey shrimp!"  
Onyx gave him a hug and sat down on the empty stool next to him. "I missed you." Onyx was surprised that her eyes welled up with tears as she said it.  
"I missed you too." He replied as he ruffled her hair.  
Onyx looked up and found herself looking right into the eyes of Edgar Hansen.  
"Hey beautiful." He said smiling at her.  
Onyx looked away uncomfortably wishing she was anywhere but there. "Hi." She mumbled.  
Edgar smirked at Onyx making her blood boil. "So how are you and the kid?"  
"Better than ever."  
Edgar licked his lips, "Oh really?"  
"Yeah really." Jake replied as he appeared at Onyx's side.  
Edgar laughed and winked at Onyx before turning back to his conversation. Onyx grabbed Jake's arm in case he decided to lunge across the table at Edgar.

After Jake talked to Phil for a few minutes they headed back across the bar and sat with Ryan and Josh. Jake was still fuming but after a couple of beers he calmed down, much to Onyx's relief. She had been worried he was going to get mad at her for even letting Edgar talk to her. A few hours later one by one the disgruntled crews began heading back to the boats on their captain's orders. Onyx shivered as they made the short walk back to the boat, she was already growing tired of the snow. When they got back to the boat Onyx got straight into her bunk and buried herself underneath the blankets. A few minutes later Jake joined her and wrapped his arms around her. She kissed the tip of his nose and then drifted off to sleep.

When Jake woke up the next morning he decided to go up to the wheel house before going out on deck to start working on the final preparations for the season.  
"How are you pops?" He asked as he sat down in the wheel house.  
"Not so good." Phil replied as he rubbed his lower back.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I've got a slipped disk in my back."  
"What?"  
Phil lit a cigarette, "You would know that if you hadn't of disappeared for a month."  
Jake shifted uncomfortably, "I... I was..."  
"Yea I know you and Onyx decided to finally go on your honeymoon, Josh told me."  
"Oh... Yeah we did."  
Phil rubbed his eyes and put out his cigarette. "Can you go down to my room and get my medication for me?"  
Jake's mouth felt dry, "Ok." He mumbled. Jake headed down the stairs and in to his fathers room. The pills were sitting on Phil's dresser and Jake's hand shook slightly as he picked up the bottle. It would have been so easy just to take a few without Phil ever noticing.' _Pops needs these,'_ he thought to himself, _'but it won't matter if I only take a couple, it won't even make a difference.'_ Jake shook his head he was supposed to be sober, but now that the pills were right in front of him he didn't really care.  
"Hey Phil." Onyx said as she walked up wheel house stairs. Jake closed his eyes, _'She trusts me.' _  
Jake headed back into the wheel house.  
He felt Onyx's eyes on him as he handed Phil the bottle. Jake didn't meet her eyes, she was making him feel guilty for even holding the bottle how could he have considered taking any pills out of it?  
Onyx cleared her throat, "What are the Pills for?"  
Phil opened the bottle and tossed some medication into his mouth before responding. "Slipped disk in my back."  
"Oh my god Phil I'm sorry!" Onyx bit her lip. "Um how long are you on medication for?"  
"Not long, the doctor doesn't want me to get hooked on 'em."  
Jake looked away from his father and stared out of the window, he could feel the heat slowly creep up his neck. Onyx grabbed his hand and he felt himself relax slightly. "If you need anything Phil I'm here to help." Onyx said smiling. Onyx let go of Jake's hand and turned to leave the wheel house. Jake's gaze lingered on the bottle of pills now sitting next to his father for a moment before following her. Onyx walked into their room and pulled on her boots. Jake stood in the doorway.  
"Onyx... I." He started to speak but had no idea what he was going to say.  
"You don't have to say anything Jake you didn't know they were going to be on the boat."  
"Yeah... I didn't, but it doesn't matter anyway."  
"Just be careful."  
Jake nodded, "I will."  
Onyx walked past him and headed outside.  
"You better not jump off of the boat on your own!" He called after her. Onyx rolled her eyes and ignored him.

Onyx headed to the local grocery store, this time with Ryan. Onyx walked the aisles a lot faster than she did the last time. Partly because now she knew what the guys liked and partly because she was worried she was going to bump into Edgar like she did before. She was in the magazine aisle trying to remember which ones the guys liked the most when he came up behind her. Onyx didn't have to turn around to know it was him, "What do you want?" She asked angrily  
Edgar laughed, "You know what I want."  
"Fuck you Edgar." Onyx said as she grabbed a few magazines and dropped them into the basket.  
"Oh you will eventually." He replied smirking.  
Onyx's temper was rising rapidly and she was about to explode when Ryan appeared next to her.  
"What's going on?" Ryan asked angrily.  
"Nothing just enjoying the view." Edgar replied as he looked Onyx up and down.  
"You need to watch your mouth Hansen Jake isn't the only one willing to punch you in your fucking face."  
Edgar laughed, "What's Phil got you guys doing over there that makes you Cornelia Marie boys so aggressive?"  
Edgar turned and walked away leaving both Ryan and Onyx fuming. Onyx was flattered at how quickly Ryan had come to her defense but she was uncomfortable about the fact that he had known about Jake hitting Edgar. Did that mean he knew how close Onyx had come to sleeping with him?  
"Jake told you he punched Edgar?" Onyx asked.  
"Well Yeah Jake was pissed. I would be pissed too if some guy  
was hitting on my wife right in front of me."  
Onyx smiled, so Jake hadn't told anyone what happened. She was incredibly embarrassed and she never wanted anyone else to find out

An hour later Onyx was in the galley putting stuff away when Jake came thundering into the room. Onyx rolled her eyes. Even before she looked up at him she knew what he was upset about.  
"So did you see anyone interesting at the grocery store?" Jake asked.  
"Anybody interesting? No I don't think so." Onyx replied deciding to mess with Jake.  
"Don't play dumb. I know you were talking to Edgar! Ryan told me." Jake yelled.  
"You're not seriously angry are you?"  
"Don't you think I have the right to be angry?"  
"No I don't actually"  
"You almost slept together and you think it's ok to still talk to him?"  
"But we didn't sleep together Jacob. I didn't do anything wrong and I know Ryan didn't tell you I did. You always make things a bigger deal than they actually are."  
"I don't want you around him."  
"Ok I'm sorry." Onyx replied deciding to avoid a fight.  
Jake looked taken aback for a moment, "Um well... Yeah it's ok."  
Jake turned and headed back onto the deck.

Jake returned to stacking pots but was incredibly irritated.  
He had a suspicion Onyx said she was sorry just to shut him up. She should have understood how upset it made him that Edgar was anywhere near her. One of Jake's biggest fears was her cheating on him and she had almost done just that with him. When she saw Edgar coming she should have went in the opposite direction. Jake lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.  
He shook his head deciding that this time he wouldn't hold Onyx talking to Edgar against her, but if it happened again he would go nuts.

When Onyx was done putting the food away she crawled onto her bunk and decided to read. She was almost half way through the book when the guys came back in. Josh walked into the room, pulled his shirt over his head, and began looking for a new one. "Are you coming to the bar with us?" Josh asked.  
Onyx shrugged, "I don't think so."  
"Why not?"  
Onyx sat her book down, "I think Jake would be more comfortable if I stayed here."  
Josh laughed, "What is it about you that makes my brother so crazy?"  
"I don't know I thought he was just crazy in general."  
Jake walked into the room but stopped in his tracks when he saw his brother. "Put a fucking shirt on dude." He said angrily.  
"I'm in the middle of looking for one, calm down."  
"Don't change with Onyx in the room."  
" Oh my god dude you are out of your mind. It's my room too I can do whatever I want."  
"And besides," Onyx cut in, "Josh isn't my type."  
" No offense Josh." She added.  
Josh laughed as he pulled a shirt over his head, "None taken. I'd be interested in Freddie before I was interested in you. How old are you again twelve?"  
Onyx threw a pillow at him. "I'm eighteen ass!"  
Josh laughed and exited the room. Jake climbed up on the bed, laid down, and stared up at the ceiling.  
"You're not seriously upset are you?"  
Jake shrugged.  
"Jake he's like my brother."  
"That doesn't mean I want him naked in front of you."  
"His shirt was off that doesn't make him naked, and I was laying down I didn't even know his shirt was off until you came in and started yelling."  
"Oh." Jake said uncomfortably.  
Onyx sighed and laid her head on his chest, "When are you going to realize your the only one I have any interest in?"  
Jake remained silent so Onyx continued, "The night we met at the bar I was getting hit on by a lot of guys, but your the only one I was willing to speak to. Even then I could tell that you were different."  
"Really?"  
"I don't see other guys the way I see you. I left everything I've ever known to be with you. I wouldn't do that for someone I wasn't completely devoted to. I wish you would stop worrying"  
Jake sat up and scratched his head, "Alright ill try."  
"Good. Are you going to the bar?"  
Jake shook his head, "I think ill stay here with you."  
Onyx smiled and pulled him back down to her. "I love you."  
"I love you too." Jake replied as he kissed her shoulder.  
They spent the remainder of the evening in bed talking, laughing, and making love until the early morning when they finally fell asleep

**Thanks for reading :)  
please review its great motivation.  
i love to read everything you have to say**


	15. Chapter 15

**Please review :)  
they really help with the writing process  
and they also make me smile :D**

The next morning was spent rushing around making sure everything was ready to go. Finally around 4pm they were ready to take off. Onyx didn't stand on deck to watch the boat leave Dutch like she did King crab season because as Jake had predicted she had already started to hate the snow. She had fallen numerous times that morning much to Jake's amusement and had a bruised tail bone to show for it. After that she decided it was best to stay inside.

She grabbed a blanket and headed up to the wheel house.  
She bundled up in the co captains' chair and was pleased the Wheel house was marginally warmer than the rest of the boat. "Are you ok Phil?" She asked as Phil shifted in his chair.  
"I'm fine shrimp." He replied.  
Onyx could see in his face that he was in a lot of pain, but she knew he had too much pride to admit it.  
"Are you sure you don't need anything?"  
Phil laughed, "I'm fine shrimp. The boys are going to be in soon you know what that means."  
Onyx laughed and stood up, "I'll go get their food ready."  
She headed downstairs and made the crew dinner. As soon as she finished the guys came in. The moment they sat down they loaded their plates with food and began to eat.  
Onyx slid in next to Jake and began to make herself a plate.  
"So how's your butt? I've never seen anything that hilarious in my life. You slid like eight feet." Jake said laughing.  
"It hurts. You know what else is hilarious? The fact that I'm not going to sleep with you until it feels better and I don't think it will for a very very long time." Onyx replied wiping the smile off of Jake's face. The crew laughed, and Josh patted his brother on his back. Jake shook his head and looked at Josh," Next time I won't marry someone wittier than I am."  
Josh laughed, "Finding someone less witty than you is going to be no easy task." Jake punched him on the arm and continued to eat. Onyx kissed him on the cheek," I was only kidding it doesn't really hurt that bad and id still probably sleep with you even if it did."  
"I know and I would never marry anyone else."  
"Yeah because if you did Id find whoever you got married to and light her ass on fire."  
Jake laughed and kissed her.  
Ryan gagged, "I hate it when they're like this."  
Josh shook his head, "Imagine sharing a room with them."

Over the next few days Onyx quickly readjusted to being on the boat. The main change from the last time she was on the boat was how freezing cold it was. She wore footie pajamas with a pair of thermals underneath all throughout the day. Onyx placed sandwiches on a plate and headed into the ready room to give them to the guys. Jake groaned when he saw her. "What?" She asked.  
"I really hate the fact you keep wearing footie pajamas."  
Josh laughed, "I think they're precious. They make her look more like a twelve year than she already does on her own."  
"Yeah because twelve year olds are usually covered in tattoos." Ryan added.

Jake rolled his eyes," Footie pajamas are the biggest cock block on the planet. They're literally impossible to get in to."  
Onyx sat the plate down and slapped Jake on the arm, "You know I don't like it when you talk like that. Middle schoolers use phrases like 'cock block' not grown men."  
"Oooooh Jakey is in trouble." Freddie said laughing.  
Onyx instantly saw Jake's face change from amusement to anger. "You can leave now." He spat at her.  
Onyx stormed off leaving the crew sitting in complete silence.

Onyx didn't see Jake for the next eight hours but when he finally came into their state room she was unsurprised to see  
that he was still angry. Onyx dropped the shirt she had been holding into the cabinet and crossed her arms. "What's wrong with you?" Onyx asked. She couldn't have hid how annoyed she was even if she had tried. "Don't you ever make me look stupid in front of the guys like that again." Jake said as he pressed her against the cabinet door with his body.  
"I don't have to make you look stupid Jake you do that just fine on your own." Onyx snapped back.  
Jake grabbed Onyx around her Jaw, "I am not fucking Joking Onyx! If you pull something like that again you are going to fucking regret it!" Jake yelled so close to her face that her hair fluttered slightly. He stared Onyx down breathing heavily until tears started to pour down her cheeks. Jake backed up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Onyx... I... I'm sorry." Jake said as he reached for her. Onyx smacked his hands away. "You're so fucking bi polar I hate you." Onyx sobbed  
"Don't say that babe. Come on I'm sorry."  
"You're always sorry Jake!"  
Jake reached out for Onyx once more but she once again smacked his hands out of the way. "Don't touch me!" She screamed as she stamped her foot angrily.  
Josh pushed open the door, "What the hell is going on?" He demanded. Onyx rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. Josh hugged her close to him and narrowed his eyes at Jake. "What the fuck did you do?" Josh yelled.  
"Sleep in the galley." He added angrily.  
Jake looked as if he was going to argue but after taking another look at Onyx he nodded.  
"Onyx I'm sorry." He said weakly.

Jake left the room and sat down at the galley table. He could still hear Onyx crying. He placed his head in his arms on the table. Onyx didn't deserve to be yelled at like that and he knew it. He honestly had no idea why he had flipped out. They had gotten in worse fights but for some reason this time he just snapped. Jake sat up straight determined to keep himself as uncomfortable as possible.  
He could have gone up to the wheel house but he couldn't face his father. Phil loved Onyx and Jake couldn't handle the look of anger and disappointment he would surely give him.

Jake sat at the table for the next five hours without sleep.  
Freddie and Ryan emerged from their room and sat down at the table. Freddie rubbed his stomach and looked around, "Where's Onyx I'm hungry."  
"Probably asleep." Jake replied quietly, "I'll cook."  
"Oh joy." Ryan mumbled under his breath.  
A few minutes later Josh entered the galley. He stood next to Jake who was placing bacon in a skillet. "Is Onyx ok?" Jake whispered. "What do you think?" Josh replied. Jake's heart sank.

"She's been crying all night." He continued.  
"Can you cook so I can go talk to her?"  
Josh nodded and took the package of bacon out of his hand.  
Jake wiped his hands and headed to their room. When he opened the door Onyx was applying makeup but it didn't completely cover the two bruises that had bloomed on either side of her jaw. "Onyx I don't know what to say." Jake whispered his voice cracking as he spoke. Onyx closed her compact and glared at Jake. "Let's skip all of this bullshit Jake. It goes the same way every time. You fuck up, you feel bad about it, you apologize, and I give in and forgive you."  
Jake stood motionless unsure of what Onyx was going to say next. "And frankly I'm not in the mood right now. So I forgive you Jacob, but I will not ever forget this. If you ever put your hands on me like that again I will leave you. I don't care how much I love you." Onyx finished,=.  
"Ok." Jake replied. He had no idea how to respond to that.  
Jake stepped forward and wrapped his arm around her and after a moment she hugged him back. Tears began to pour down Jake's face the moment she wrapped her arms around him.

An hour later Jake was out on deck working. He was guilt ridden and unable to think about anything but Onyx and the bruises he had given her. He couldn't understand why she put up with him. To make matters worse the rest of the crew had seen her bruises and he could feel their eyes on him. He was completely zoned out and had no idea what was going on around him. He wanted to be with Onyx not on deck. The guys had to call his name several times to get his attention, and he even fell chest deep into an open tank. Jake was grateful when his dad told them to come in early. Phil didn't give them a reason why but Jake didn't really care. He headed to his room to talk to Onyx but found that she was asleep. He paced for a few moments, his mind racing. He left the room realizing what he needed.

Jake knocked on the door softly to make sure no one was inside before slipping inside his dad's room. Jake found what he was looking for and poured a few pills into his hand.  
"What the hell are you doing?" A voice asked from behind him.  
Jake turned around and found himself looking into his fathers angry blue eyes. "I was just grabbing some..."  
"No your not!" Phil cut in, "give them back they aren't yours."  
"I know."  
Jake outstretched a shaking hand and dropped the pills into Phil's hand. Phil turned and stormed up the wheel house stairs Jake following closely behind. Phil sat down in his chair and began to yell at Jake. Jake was numb he barely heard what Phil was saying. He was responding to everything Phil said but he barely processed what was coming out of his mouth.  
Jake forced himself to focus. "Something aint adding up... Why are you so sick?" Phil asked.  
"Um I'm an addict." Jake replied slowly.  
Phil turned to face him, "What?"  
"I'm a drug addict."  
Phil rubbed his eyes and lit a cigarette, "You need to go to rehab."  
"I already went to rehab. That's why you didn't hear from me for a month. It didn't help."  
"Well you need to go back Jacob. You're a newlywed you can't start your life off like this."  
"I know."  
"Well then do something about it Jacob!"  
Jake nodded.  
"Onyx knows?" Phil asked.  
Jake nodded again, "She's the only reason I went to rehab."  
"You need to go to rehab for you Jake not just for her."  
"I...I'm going to go back."  
Phil patted his back, "You have to do it for you."  
"I am pops."  
Phil hugged his son, "I love you pops." Jake said into his shoulder.  
Phil sighed," I love you too. I'm going to head back to port, I can't fish now."

Jake slowly made his way back to his state room and climbed into the bunk with Onyx. That morning Jake had thought it was impossible to be more ashamed of himself but now he felt ten times worse. '_What kind of person steals from their father?_' Jake thought to himself. Jake wrapped his arms around Onyx who moved slightly closer to him in her sleep. He dreaded the moment he had to tell her what he had just attempted to do. There was only so much she could take before she finally gave up on him.  
When Onyx woke up Jake was lying with his arm around her but she knew he wasn't sleeping. "How come you're not on deck?" Onyx asked as she stifled a yawn.  
"We're going back to port."  
"How come?" Onyx asked. They weren't supposed to head back for three more days.  
"I don't know."  
Onyx turned to face him and looked into his eyes. She could tell he was hurting. But she wasn't sure if it was because he was still guilty about the way he reacted the night before or if it was something else. Onyx hadn't intended on showing any affection towards him for a long time after what had happened but she couldn't control herself when it came to him. She lent forward and kissed him lightly. Jason was right when he said that their relationship wasn't healthy but Onyx wasn't sure if she cared or not.

They arrived at port early the next morning and the guys headed outside to off load the crab they had caught. Onyx covered her bruises the best she could and headed up to the wheel house. She sat down on the bench behind Phil. "What's wrong?" She asked.  
"Nothing shrimp I'm just really tired today."  
She frowned slightly, "Why don't you go lay down for a little while? I'll wake you up if the guys need you."  
Phil stood up, "I think I will go rest for a little while."  
He ruffled Onyx's hair and smiled as he exited the wheel house. A few moments later Onyx stood up and headed down to the galley. She had just finished reading the book she had started the other night when the guys came back in.  
"Where's Phil?" Ryan asked as they sat down at the galley table.

"Sleeping." Onyx replied as she sat her book down.  
"Can you go tell him some of the processing guys want to talk to him?" Josh asked as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.  
Onyx stood up and walked to Phil's state room. He didn't answer when she knocked so she headed into to wheel house. _'What the hell?'_ Onyx thought when she realized he wasn't there either. She walked back to his door and tried knocking again. After a few moments of silence Onyx quietly opened the door. "Phil?" She called softly. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room but when they did her heart stopped. Phil was laying face down on the floor. Onyx rushed over to him and dropped to her knees, "Phil! Are you ok? Please get up!" She yelled half sobbing. She tried to flip him over but he was too heavy. Onyx stood up and raced to the door. "Help!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Instantly she heard the sounds of running feet and within seconds the whole crew appeared next to her.  
"What's wrong?" Jake said urgently.  
"He isn't moving!" Onyx cried.  
The rushed past her into the room. Onyx stood outside she couldn't bring herself to go back in. "Onyx call 911!" She heard Josh yell. She raced into the wheel house and dialed the number with trembling fingers.

An ambulance arrived within minutes. Onyx stood against the wall with tears pouring down her face as the paramedics rushed past her into Phil's room. A few minutes later Jake exited the room visibly shaken. He walked over to Onyx, "I... I think he had a stroke." His lip trembled slightly when he finished speaking. Onyx outstretched her arms and. Jake instantly pulled her into a tight embrace. He buried his face into her shoulder and began to cry. Onyx rubbed his back and forced herself to stop crying. Jake was strong for her when she cried and now she needed to be strong for him. "He'll be ok." She said softly. Onyx held him until Josh called him back into the room. A few minutes later Onyx heard someone say they were going to have to crane him off of the boat. She scrambled to get out of the way as they carried him out of the room. Jake's eyes were red and puffy but Josh looked too shocked to cry.

_'He'll be ok.'_ Onyx thought to herself repeatedly as she watched the ambulance speed off. Josh had been elected to ride with Phil but Onyx desperately wished she was with him too. She needed to see that he was ok for herself. Waiting around for information was not something she was good at. Onyx grabbed Jakes hand, "Come on let's go to the hospital."  
At first Jake seemed to be rooted to the spot but when she started to walk he automatically followed. Freddie and Ryan silently walked behind them. They jumped into Phil's truck and sped to the hospital. Jakes knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Onyx half heartedly rubbed Jake's arm but after a moment it fell limply at her side. There was no worse feeling than seeing the person you loved in pain and knowing nothing you say or do will comfort them.

When they arrived at the hospital Josh was sitting on the floor in the waiting room his head in his hands. Jake rushed over to him. "What happened is he ok?" He sputtered out.  
" He had a massive stroke."  
"Is he alive?" Jake asked quietly.  
The fear in his voice made almost made Onyx forget that she wasn't supposed to cry.  
Josh ran his hands through his hair, "He's alive, but I don't know for how long."  
Jake collapsed on the floor next to his brother.  
"This isn't real. It can't be." He mumbled.  
Everyone remained silent the rest of the night as they waited for some news. Onyx was sitting on the floor in between Jake and Josh holding each of their hands. This was the one occasion that Jake wouldn't have been upset by it.

Around midnight the doctor finally came into the waiting room.  
"How is he?" Everyone asked in near unison.  
"He's stable. For now." The doctor replied, "But we can't give him the kind of medical attention he needs. His only shot is to get to Anchorage and he needs to go now."  
Jake stood up, "well what are you waiting for? Get him out of here!"  
The doctor nodded and left the room.  
Josh stood up and faced his brother, "You and Onyx can fly with him I've got to go back to the boat."  
"Are you serious? Come with us, you need to be with dad not the boat."  
Josh shook his head, "I have to go back."  
Onyx could see that Jake was angry but that he knew better than to explode in a hospital.  
Jake nodded and hugged Josh, "Ill call you when we get to Anchorage."

An hour later Jake and Onyx climbed into the hospital airplane and sat on either side of Phil. Jake held on to Phil's hand and refused to let go. Miraculously Phil held it back. Onyx couldn't look at Phil so she stared at a point just above his head instead. That wasn't Phil strapped to the gurney. Phil was indestructible. Nothing had ever broken Phil. Nothing. Onyx wasn't religious but found she was praying. _'Please let him be ok. If he breaks we all do."_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N so the next update will be the last for this story :).  
Thanks to everyone who's stuck with it. This is my first ever fan fic and I'm still amazed that people like it!  
When I post the final chapter I'll also be posting the first chapter of my new story :). I'm a Jake girl but this one will be about Josh, here's its quick summary:**

**Josh Harris**** had a one night stand with a girl and  
Now he can't get her out of his head. What happens when she shows up months later as the new greenhorn, and his little brother's girlfriend?**

**On with the story :).**

The next few days were the worst of Jake's life. Phil's condition was up and down and it seemed every time the doctor gave them hope a few hours later he snatched it away. Jake hadn't spoken to his father after he was caught trying to steal his pills and it was tearing him apart. The conversation that followed didn't end with them on bad terms but Phil certainly hadn't been happy with him. Jake wished more than anything he could have taken it back. Jake hadn't told Onyx about how close he had come to relapsing. She was the only comfort he had and he wasn't willing to lose that. They hadn't been talking much anyway, they mostly sat in silence each lost in their own thoughts.

"Jake your phone is ringing."  
"What?" Jake asked coming out of a daze.  
"Your phone is ringing." Onyx repeated.  
Jake reached into his pocket pulled out his phone. It was Josh.  
"Hello?"  
"How's dad?" Josh asked instantly.  
"He just got out of surgery. They had to remove part of his skull."  
"How's he doing."  
"The doctor said he's doing as well as can be expected."  
Josh cleared his throat, "I'll be there soon Jake."  
"What?" Jake asked.  
"I'm flying to anchorage. You were right I should be with you and dad."  
After a few moments Jake replied, "I'm glad you changed your mind."  
"See you soon." Josh said before hanging up.  
Onyx rested her head against Jake's shoulder. "What happened?"  
"Josh is coming."  
Onyx smiled for the first time in days.  
"I'm glad."  
Jake acknowledged her comment with a nearly inaudible grunt.

A few hours later the doctor let them go in and see Phil. Jake barely recognized his father. His head was mostly shaven and part of his face was slack. Jake found it hard to even look at him. He felt like he was about to break down. Onyx grasped his hand and squeezed as if she sensed it. Jake stood beside his sleeping father and placed a kiss on his forehead. He wiped away two large tears with his sleeve. At that moment he began to feel his heart break.  
"I'm sorry pops." He whispered.  
Jake and Onyx sat down in two chairs in the corner of room. He placed his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Jake thought about everything he had ever put his father through. He thought about the look on his face when he caught him trying to steal his much needed medication. He thought about all the times he had taken  
Phil's credit cards without giving him so much as a thank you, all the times he had yelled at him for no reason, how when his father tried to teach him about running the boat he would tune him out. Now he realized how ungrateful he had acted. He never once told his dad he appreciated it. He should have told him more often how much he loved him. There were so many things he needed to tell him. What happened if he never got another chance?

Onyx sat silently next to Jake and stared down at her hands. This wasn't fair. Phil was one of most amazing people she had ever met. Besides Jake she loved him more than she loved anyone else. He was nothing but honest. Phil was tough but when he loved you he loved you with everything he had. Onyx looked up at a ceiling in an attempt to keep tears from flowing down her face._ 'Why is this happening?' _She thought angrily as if God was going to give her an answer. Onyx hadn't gone to church or prayed her whole life. She had never been convinced God even existed, but now she found he was who she talking to the most. _'If anyone deserves to live it's him'_. It seemed impossible that just days ago she was sitting up In his wheel house talking to him. They had grown incredibly close in the past few months. Her mom still wanted nothing to do with her and her dad had moved back to Nigeria when she was little. Phil was the father she had never been lucky enough to have.

A few hours later Onyx stood up and began to pace the room. Jake didn't even look up as she moved away from him. She was fighting not to cry. _'He's Jake's dad not yours'_, she told herself, _'you have to be strong for him'_. Onyx turned to retrace her steps but stopped in her tracks. Phil was looking at her. Onyx's hand flew to her mouth in surprise. "Jake!" She said urgently, "He's awake!" Jake rushed past her to his side. She stood a few feet behind him wanting to give him his space. Jake grabbed Phil's hand and placed his head on the metal bed rail and cried. Phil merely looked at him, unable to speak because of the tube in his mouth. Onyx couldn't take it; she rushed forward and rubbed Jake's back. Onyx smiled at Phil who looked at her with an expression that clearly said he was irritated he couldn't talk.

Josh arrived early the next morning. He pulled Jake into a tight embrace the moment he entered the room. He then walked over to Phil and kissed him on the cheek. "Hi dad." He said as he visibly struggled not to cry. Onyx hovered in the corner as Jake joined Josh at Phil's side. She had no business being there she felt like an intruder.

Two days later they were sitting in a small room waiting for the doctor to come in and talk to them. Onyx felt hopeful, even though Phil couldn't talk he was alert and still giving them his classic facial expressions. After a few minutes the doctor walked in. Relief spread through Onyx when she saw he was smiling. The doctor paused to look at Phil's chart before speaking. The anticipation in the room was overwhelming. "Well," the doctor finally began, "Phil is doing really well. He isn't completely out of the water yet but he's progressing a lot faster than we expected. I've never seen anything like this before. We're going to remove the tube in his throat and he should be talking within the hour."  
Josh stood up and shook his hand, "You're in for a treat."  
A smile spread across Jake's face and he lent in and kissed Onyx. It was the first time he'd done more than hold her hand in days.  
After the tube was removed Jake, Josh, and Onyx headed into Phil's room. Jake and Josh resumed their post at Phil's side and Onyx sat down in a chair on the other side of the room. After about 45 minutes Phil began to speak. He was slow and deliberate. Onyx listened to him talk to his sons for a few minutes and was overjoyed. She was starting to think that her prayers had been answered. Suddenly the voices faltered and Onyx looked up to see what was wrong. Phil was pointing at her. Jake bent down and Phil said something into his ear. "Come here Onyx." Jake said as he waved her over, "pops wants to see you."  
Onyx quickly walked over and Jake backed up so she could take his place.  
"...Hey shrimp." Phil said quietly.  
At those words Onyx lost her resolve and tears streamed down her face.  
Jake wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder.  
"Hi Phil." Onyx replied.  
Phil managed to give her a half smile, "You don't have to...sit at... the opposite end... of the room."  
Onyx bit her lip to stop it from trembling.  
"You're my daughter... as much as they're my sons." He continued. Onyx bent down and kissed him on the forehead. She never understood how Phil somehow always knew what was bothering her. He always knew just what to say to make her happy.  
Jake let go of her and turned around. She knew it was to wipe away his tears. Onyx wiped her own eyes, "I love you Phil." She said in a choked voice. Phil smiled and soon drifted off to sleep.

Even though Phil was doing better Onyx began to notice that it was getting harder and harder for Jake to see him lying in a hospital bed. Although he spent most of the day at the hospital he was still spending less time there than her and Josh. Onyx understood, but she could see that it was infuriating Josh. Onyx was sitting in a chair besides Phil's bed reading him a Nascar magazine while Josh was at the cafeteria.  
"Where's Jake?" Phil asked.  
Onyx sat the magazine down in her lap.  
"He's at the hotel. Its hard for him to see you in the hospital."  
Phil smiled, "I know, but ill be out soon."  
Onyx returned his smile, "The crab aren't going to be to pleased about that."  
A few minutes later Josh returned and looked around angrily, "Jake is still not back?"  
Onyx shook her head. Josh mumbled something under his breath and sat down in the chair next to her. Onyx continued to read the magazine, she had already tried pleaded Jake's case to Josh but he wasn't interested.

Jake was sitting on one of the beds in the hotel room he and Onyx were sharing with Josh. He inhaled deeply on the joint he had just rolled. Weed wasn't his drug of choice because it took a lot to get him high but he was willing to take whatever he could get. Luckily he had purchased a lot. When he finished he pulled the bottle of malt liquor he had gotten at the liquor store out of a paper bag and began to drink. He had just reached his goal of getting completely trashed when the door opened. Jake assumed it was Josh so he didn't even bother looking up. His brother's opinion was the last thing he was worried about.  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
The bottle was half way to his lips when he froze. The voice didn't belong to Josh it belonged to Onyx. After a moment Jake put the bottle to his lips anyway and drained the last of its contents.  
He sat the bottle on the dresser and then hopped up onto it himself. "I'm getting fucked up." He replied. Jake was emotionally drained he didn't have the energy to lie to her. Onyx turned and left slamming the door behind her. Jake rolled another joint and then lay on the bed to smoke it. An hour later Josh walked into the room and started to pull off his jacket when he suddenly stopped. "What the hell have you been doing in here? It smells like pot." He said angrily.  
"I've been smoking pot." Jake replied.  
"And getting drunk?" Josh asked.  
"Yep."  
"Dad would be real proud."  
"Fuck you Josh."  
"You should be at the hospital with him! Your wife spends more time with him than you do!  
How do you think that makes him feel?"  
"I can't stand looking at him like that Josh."  
"You're an asshole Jacob. Dad needs you. Onyx needs you and you're in here getting high. You just got out of rehab and you're already fucking everything up!"  
Jake rubbed his eyes, "I'm going back. I already talked to dad about it on the boat."  
"So you think its ok to get as fucked up as you can before you go? I'm sure Onyx loves that."  
Jake shrugged his shoulders.  
Josh rolled his eyes and left the room slamming the door behind him.

By the time Onyx returned Jake was completely sober. She laid down on the bed without looking at him. Jake climbed onto the bed and lay down next to her.  
"Look I know you're angry..."  
"I'm not angry. I'm just upset" Onyx cut in.  
"I know I shouldn't have gotten high but at least it was only weed."  
Onyx rolled over to face him, "Its not any better you just replaced one drug with another."  
"I just... I just needed something. I'm not used to this."  
"You're not used to what?"  
"I'm not used to worrying everyday that I'm going to lose my dad."  
Onyx stroked his cheek, "I know. I understand but I worry about you. I'm scared we're going to lose him. I can't lose you too."  
Jake sat up and Onyx followed suit.  
"I'm going back to rehab." He muttered.  
"But you hated it."  
Jake took a deep breath, "Pops caught me trying to steal his pills. That's why he ended the trip early."  
Onyx closed her eyes, "I don't even know what to say."  
"We talked about it and I think the reason I hated rehab so much was because I didn't really want to get sober, and I think that's also the reason I tried to take his pills. The only reason I went was because I didn't want to lose you, but now I really want to be able to stay clean."  
Onyx wrapped her arms around him. Jake nuzzled his face into her neck, "I'm going to be a better husband I promise."  
"I believe you."  
Jake pulled away from her, "I think I need to go soon. Like really soon. I just need to talk to Josh and pops first."

The next morning Jake called a rehab center in Washington and got himself in then they headed back to the hospital. When they walked into the room Phil was sitting up reading a magazine and Josh was asleep in a chair. Jake shook his brother awake and then turned to face his father.  
He cleared his throat, "I'm going back to rehab." He paused for a moment, "in a couple of hours." Phil outstretched his hand and Jake grabbed it.  
"I'm proud of you." Phil said.  
"Thanks pops. I wish I could be here with you but I think I really need to go."  
"I'd rather you be there anyway. That makes me really happy."  
Jake gave Phil a small smile and hugged him.  
Josh stood up and hugged Jake, "I'm proud of you too man. I love you."  
"I love you too. Take care of Onyx while I'm gone" Jake replied.  
Josh smiled, "Don't worry I will. I get along great with twelve year olds."  
Onyx rolled her eyes and sat down next to Phil. Jake wrote down the rehab center's phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Josh. "You can call this number if it's an emergency, but other than that I won't really be able to talk."  
Josh nodded and slipped it into his jacket pocket.

Two hours later Onyx was outside waiting with Jake for his cab to pick him up.  
He wrapped his arms around her waist, "It's going to be better this time I promise."  
"I know."  
"I'm going to come back a better son, brother, and husband. I'm not going to make you worry anymore."  
Jake lent in to kiss her just as the cab pulled up. Jake started to laugh and pulled away from her. "What?" Onyx asked as she raised her eyebrows.  
"Deja Vu." Jake replied.  
Onyx was confused for a moment then it suddenly hit her making a smile spread across her face. The first time he had ever tried to kiss her a cab pulled up and interrupted them. Onyx patted him gently on the cheek, "Aw Jake I didn't know you were so sentimental."  
Jake rolled his eyes and opened the cab door.  
Onyx stepped forward and kissed him. "I love you." She mouthed.  
Jake winked and got into the car. Onyx watched the car pull away and after a few minutes headed back inside.

Over the next few days Onyx stayed at the hospital all day long. She had no reason to go back to the hotel now that Jake was gone. She had no problem with sleeping in a chair and she was tiny enough to curl up in it. Onyx was sitting next to Phil doing one of the crossword puzzles the hospital had provided while Josh slept. Phil had been sleeping more than usual but the doctor couldn't give them a satisfactory reason why. Onyx glanced up in time to see Phil's eye lids flutter open. After a few minutes he motioned her towards him. Onyx stood up and walked a couple of steps to the bed. When Phil opened his mouth to speak Onyx was taken aback. Just days before he was talking almost normally and now it was slow and slurred. "Take care of Jake."  
"Of course." Onyx replied smiling.  
"He's going to need you. He's not good at taking care of himself."  
"Well I think he's serious about rehab this time so he should be fine."  
"I'm not talking about that."  
"I don't understand."  
"When I'm gone he's going to need you more than ever."  
"You're not going anywhere Phil." Onyx said sternly.  
"My story is coming to an end. I...I can feel it."  
Onyx shook her head and began to cry, "No it isn't Phil."  
"Onyx..." Phil began.  
"No!" Onyx cut him off, "Don't talk like that you're going to be fine."  
Phil looked at her for a moment and then looked at the ceiling instead.  
Onyx wiped her eyes and sat down angrily in the chair. She couldn't understand why Phil was talking like that when he was doing so well. After a few minutes Phil fell back asleep but Onyx remained angry. "What's wrong?" Josh asked as he sat up in his chair.  
"Nothing." Onyx lied. She knew Josh would upset if she told him what Phil had said.  
"I think we should go back to the hotel room." Josh said as he stood up.  
"Why?"  
"You need a real meal and a full night sleep you look pale. Which is kind of odd if you don't mind me saying. Dad is sleeping anyway."  
Onyx smiled and stood up, "ok fine."

They headed back to the hotel room and ordered a pizza. They spent the rest of the day talking, and even laughing which felt foreign and unnatural. Josh threw a pizza crust into the near empty box and laid down. "Thank you for not giving up on my brother." He said as he pulled the blanket up to his chin. Onyx climbed into her own bed.  
"I love him. I never had an option." She said simply. Josh laughed, "Goodnight Onyx."  
"Goodnight."

Onyx was awakened early the next morning by an annoying ringing sound. She sat up and looked around the room for the source. Josh's Phone was vibrating dangerously close to the edge of the dresser. Onyx threw a pillow at him. "Answer your Phone!"  
Josh scrambled across the bed and grabbed the phone. "It's the hospital." He said quickly before answering. Onyx threw the blankets off of her and sat down on Josh's bed, her heart racing. Josh's face fell a little more with each passing second. His hand went slack and the phone fell out of his hand. "What happened?" Onyx asked as panic spread through her.  
"He's gone."  
"What?" Onyx asked stunned.  
"He passed away. The doctors did everything they could."  
"You're lying!" Onyx yelled as she began to hit Josh on the chest. "That isn't funny Josh!"  
Tears began to slowly fall down Josh's face and she knew he wasn't lying. Josh pulled Onyx into a tight hug and she cried hysterically into his shoulder. "It can't be true! He was doing better." She sobbed, "We just saw him!"

Josh held her for what seemed like hours before he finally pulled away. "I've got to go to the hospital." He mumbled as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Can you call Jake?" Onyx nodded and wiped her eyes on the bottom of her shirt. Josh handed her the phone number Jake had given him and then exited the room. Onyx tried to compose herself before dialing the number. It rang several times before a receptionist answered.  
"Can I speak to Jacob Harris please? It's an emergency."  
"Please hold." The receptionist answered.  
Onyx heard nothing but static for a few minutes. Finally she heard someone pick up the phone.  
"Hello?" Jake said. Onyx could tell that he was dreading bad news. It made it even harder to tell him.  
"Jake... Phil's gone... he passed away."  
"No." Jake replied his voice cracking as he spoke.  
"I'm so sorry Jake."  
Jake began to cry, "I should of been there."  
"Jake he was so proud of you for leaving."  
"It's not fair."  
"I know babe."  
"This phone call will be terminated in thirty seconds." A recording interrupted them.  
"I love you Jake. I'm so sorry I don't what else to say." Onyx cried.  
"I love you too... Just call me back soon ok?"  
"I will."  
The line went dead and Onyx threw her phone across the room. She tore the blankets off of the bed and threw them angrily onto the floor. Onyx picked the lamp off of the dresser and threw it against the wall before collapsing onto her knees. All the faith she had gained in the last few weeks escaped her and she felt foolish for thinking for even a second that there was a god. She curled up into a ball onto the floor and sobbed. There were only two people who would be able to comfort her in that moment. One was across the country in rehab undoubtedly in worse pain than she was and the other would never be able to comfort her again.

**Thanks for reading :)**  
**as always please review :)**  
**it helps the writing process aloooot :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Wow I can't believe this story is coming to an end. Thanks to everyone whose read and reviewed. Thanks for the amazing feedback and motivation! Even though this story is over I'm far from done writing! Check out the first chapter of my new story! It's called sweet pandemonium and its up now :) of course it's a deadliest catch fic.**

**Did I mention I don't own anyone from deadliest catch? No? Well that's because I've been in denial about it. But sadly I only own my O/C Onyx. (For now. I'm saving up for Jake)**

Onyx was sitting on the edge of the bathtub wrapped in a towel unable to bring herself to move. She still couldn't believe Phil was gone. She refused to. Onyx was waiting for Josh to come bursting into the hotel room and tell her it had all been a mistake and that Phil was fine. After twenty minutes she heard someone enter the hotel room. She recognized the heavy footsteps as Josh's. Onyx jumped as he knocked softly on the bathroom door. "Are you ok Onyx?" Josh asked in a choked voice.  
"I'm fine."  
Josh cleared his throat, "the doctor said it was quick. Dad felt no pain when he... When he died."  
Tears leaked out of Onyx's eyes. Her last hope had been dashed. She became angry as she remembered that Phil had seen this coming. _'How could you just leave Phil?'_ She thought angrily, _'I need you. We all need you'._  
Onyx pulled on a sweatshirt and some leggings and exited the bathroom. "What do we do now?"  
Josh shrugged, "I have no idea."

Jake was staring down at his plate of food unable to eat. If his heart hadn't of been pumping in his chest he wouldn't have known he was alive. Hot tears fell onto the plate and he shoved it away from him. He was sitting with three other people but he didn't care who saw him cry. If anyone would have asked how he was feeling he wouldn't have been able to even start to describe it. Jake had never lost anyone this close to him before. He had never been a good son. Never, and he had wanted to prove to Phil that he could be a better person. Now he was never going to get that chance. _'He deserved better.' _Jake thought miserably. Jake stood up and asked if he could go to his room. After he was given permission he walked to the small room that he luckily didn't have to share with anyone and collapsed onto the bed. He wished he had given his father a proper goodbye. When he left for rehab he had assumed he would be seeing him again. Jake flung himself off of the bed and began to pace instead. He wanted to fly to his wife and brother's side immediately but he still had a little over two weeks left in rehab. He knew his dad would have wanted him to stay but at the same time he knew Josh and especially Onyx needed him as much as he needed them. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and it was opened before Jake even had a chance to reply. He placed his hands into his pockets, "What's the point of knocking if you're just going to open the door without a response?"  
The therapist smiled at him, "You've got a phone call, but make it quick you only get five minutes." Jake hurried past him into the lobby and picked up the phone.  
"Hello?" Jake said.  
"Hi."  
Jake pressed the phone closer to his ear at the sound of Onyx's voice.  
"What's going on?" He asked.  
"Josh says he needs to start making funeral arrangements, but he wants to make sure you're there."  
Jake scratched his eyebrow, "What should I do?"  
"I understand if you want to come home now but we can also do it when you finish treatment, if that's what you want."  
"I think I need to stay here."  
"Ok I'll tell Josh. I'm proud of you Jacob."  
"Thanks."  
Onyx cleared her throat, "Phil...Phil would be too."  
Jake closed his eyes and leaned against the front desk at the mention of his father's name.  
"I have to go Onyx. I love you and uh see you soon."  
"I love you too." Onyx said before hanging up.

The next morning Jake was sitting in group therapy. He found it just as hard to listen to people complain about their problems as he had before but he was trying his hardest not to get irritated. "What about you Jacob?" The tall Mexican therapist asked. "I'm sorry what was that?" Jake replied. "What made you turn to drugs?"  
"I smoked weed as a teenager just because it was something to do when I was bored, and I took ecstasy on occasion but I never really liked it."  
The therapist nodded and looked down at his notebook, "So what made you get into prescription pills."  
"Well my job really fucks up my body so I always have a bunch of pills prescribed to me. I was having a bad day I guess and I thought maybe taking an extra pill or two would help. They helped a lot and I just couldn't stop."  
"When did you realize it was an addiction?"  
Jake laughed, "I knew right away, but I thought I could handle it. Then when my wife and I started fighting It got worse and I realized there was something wrong."  
The therapist smiled and stood up, "that's enough for today, but ill see you all tomorrow. Jake I want to talk to you in my office after dinner."  
Jake nodded and exited the room with everyone else. Instead of going to dinner he went to his room. He stared up at the ceiling and thought about his father. It was hard to work on his recovery when all he wanted was his dad back.

An hour later he was standing outside of the therapist's office. He had just raised his hand to knock when he pulled the door open.  
"Hey Jake." The therapist said warmly.  
"Hey."  
"You can call me vincent."  
"Uh ok."  
He sat down at his desk and Jake sat down in a wooden chair across from him.  
"So tell me about your wife." Vincent said as he folded his hands on his desk.  
"What do you want to know about her?"  
"Anything."  
"Well we got married three weeks after we met and she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Her name is Onyx and she's really sarcastic, annoyingly stubborn, she pisses me off almost every day, but she's the most patient person I've ever met. She's also beautiful." Jake smiled, "Like so beautiful its weird. No other girl compares to her. I don't know why she chose me. She could do so much better."  
Vincent frowned slightly, "Why do you think she could do better?"  
"Because she's flawless. Everything she does is just..amazing. Everyone who meets her loves her and I'm nothing special I'm just Jake. That's it."  
"Obviously you're something special to her."  
Jake laughed, "so she tells me."  
"Do you think about her leaving you?"  
It took a moment for Jake to respond and when he did his voice cracked slightly, "Every day."  
Vince placed his hands under his chin and studied him for a moment, "Do you think that's part of the reason you take the pills?"  
"I don't know. Probably...yeah."  
"You need understand that you are worth loving Jacob. If she says she loves you and she hasn't shown you otherwise then you need to believe it. It isn't fair to either one of you to keep living with doubts."  
Jake played with a loose string on his shirt.  
The therapist hadn't told him anything that Onyx hadn't already said a million times, but when she said it he always blew it off and continued to worry. Now it made sense and he was feeling guilty for doubting her.  
Vincent wrote something down in his notepad and then looked back at Jake.  
"The receptionist told me your father just died."  
Jake stared at the door so he wouldn't have to look at Vincent.  
"Jake?" Vincent said raising his voice slightly.  
Jake looked back at him, "Yeah he just died."  
"How do you feel?"  
"How do you think I feel?" Jake snapped.  
"Angry, lonely, heartbroken, confused, and guilty."  
Jake looked down at his hands. "Why should I feel guilty?" He asked quietly.  
"It's a natural feeling. I don't know why our minds work the way they do Jacob."  
A tear slid down Jake's nose and landed in his lap. "I let him down. He just wanted me to follow in his footsteps and all I ever did was give him a hard time. My brother was always a way better son than me, and now I can't take it back. I told him I loved him all the time but I never really showed it. What if he didn't know how much he meant to me?"  
"He knew Jake."  
"How do you know?"  
"Fathers always know these things."  
Jake wiped his eyes, "Do you really believe that?"  
"Yes. My son died in a car crash when he was sixteen. We didn't really get along. You know how teenagers can be."  
Jake nodded.  
"The last thing he said to me was to 'fuck off' but if he would have known that was the last time he would ever speak to me he would have never said that. I'm confident he would have told me he loved me. He was a good kid he just lost his way." Vincent finished.  
"How did you get over losing him?"  
Vince sighed, "Death isn't something you get over Jake, but one day you'll be able to accept it and move on with your life."  
Jake nodded, "Can I leave?"  
"Sure."  
Jake stood up and walked back to his room.  
He lay down and looked at the ceiling. Before talking to the therapist his brain felt cloudy and heavy but now he was feeling calm. He was starting to that he didn't have to act so protective over Onyx. After everything he had put her through she had never once turned her back on him. That had to mean something, and maybe Phil had known how much he loved him even if he wasn't the best at showing it.  
Jake closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Onyx and Josh were sitting in the Anchorage airport waiting to fly back to Washington. It was nearing 1AM but the airport was too crowded and noisy for them to attempt to sleep. Onyx hadn't been sleeping well anyway. Onyx lay awake late into the night desperately missing both Phil and Jake, and she could hear Josh wake up multiple times and try to stifle his crying. As they boarded the airplane Onyx couldn't help but think how unnatural it felt to be going home without Jake. Onyx closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't have to talk. The fact that Phil had foreseen his death was still haunting her. She wondered if he had accepted the inevitable or if he had just given up. Onyx smiled, she knew he didn't give up. Phil would have never given up. He wouldn't do that to his family. Realizing this comforted her slightly.

When they finally arrived back in Washington Onyx was exhausted. They walked to the parking structure across from the airport to pick up their cars. Onyx never would of guessed a month ago that she'd be returning home without both her husband and her father in law. "If you need anything you can call me." Josh said suddenly.  
"I know. You can call me too." Onyx replied.  
Josh hugged her, "Thank you for being there I couldn't have gone through all of this alone."  
Onyx planted a smile on her face and shrugged as they pulled apart, "We're family."  
Onyx waved goodbye to Josh and got into her car.

When she arrived home she found it to be cold and empty. She headed to her and Jake's room and smiled at all his clothes still scattered across the room. Onyx climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket over her head. She pushed her headphones into her ears and blasted her ipod. She hoped the music would block out all her thoughts. Between mourning Phil and missing Jake she was completely drained.

Two and a half weeks later Jake was standing in his room packing up his belongings. It was two days before his dad's funeral and he would be flying home in just a few hours. He couldn't wait to see Onyx. It sucked to be away from her. However, he was dreading the funeral. A funeral was just way to final and he wasn't sure he could handle it. The last time he left rehab he had wondered how long he would stay sober before he relapsed, but this time he was confident he would never relapse. He had a lot to stay sober for, he wanted to be sober for Onyx, his dad, and his brother, but mostly he wanted to stay sober for himself. Jake was surprised by how much rehab had helped him this time. He had completely dismissed it as a Joke the first time but now believed it had saved him. Jake was feeling confident that Phil would have been proud of him.

A few hours later Onyx was parked outside of the rehab facility. It was a lot less nerve racking then having to wait for him at an airport. She was anxious as she waited for him to come out of the front doors. Onyx wasn't worried about him not taking treatment seriously. Something told her that it was going to be different this time. She turned up the radio and reclined in the drivers' seat. If Jake didn't hurry up she was going to have to march in there and grab him herself. When Jake finally exited the building Onyx's eyes immediately filled with tears. She hurried out of the car and met him half way. Their reunion wasn't as joy filled as it was the last time. As soon as they embraced they both broke down. The pain of missing Phil and missing each other was too much. Onyx pulled away and cupped Jake's face. "How are you? How do you feel?" She asked.  
Jake smiled, "I feel ok, at least I feel like I'm going to be ok."  
"Really?"  
"Being here really helped."  
Onyx lent up and kissed him, "I'm glad but let's get the hell out of here."  
Jake grabbed her hand and led her to the car. "Let's go eat I'm starving." He said as he rubbed his stomach.

Onyx and Jake sat down in a booth at Jake's favorite restaurant. Jake smiled, "This is the same restaurant we we're at when you told me you were going back to California."  
Onyx looked up from her menu, "I'm aware."  
Jake smirked, "but you just couldn't resist my charm."  
Onyx snorted and rolled her eyes, "yeah something like that."  
The waiter walked over and smiled down at Onyx. He was blatantly checking her out. "What can I get for you?" He said smiling.  
"Ummm I don't know." Onyx replied, "I think my husband is ready though."

The waiter reluctantly looked from Onyx to Jake.  
"What can I get for you?" The waiter asked without a trace of a smile.  
Jake bit back the many insults he wanted to aim and ordered his food instead. After Onyx ordered and the waiter walked away Onyx narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Jake.  
"What?" He asked.  
"Nothing." She replied as she continued to eye him suspiciously. Jake laughed and took a sip of his drink. "Um did pops say anything about me before he died?"  
Onyx cleared her throat, "He said to take care of you." Jake nodded and took another sip of his drink. "I miss him." He said quietly.  
"I know I miss him too. Not as much as you I'm sure but..."  
"Onyx you're allowed to miss him. Just because he wasn't your father doesn't mean you didn't love him as much as we did. He really loved you Onyx."  
Onyx smiled, "thank you."  
"For what?"  
Onyx shrugged and looked back down at her menu. Jake could see the tears in her eyes and got up to sit next to her instead of across from her. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her on the top of the head. Onyx smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. A few minutes later the waiter returned with their food. The waiter gave Onyx a sly smile before walking away. "Creep." Onyx mumbled under her breath. Jake laughed and began to eat. Onyx shot him a confused look and then started to eat her food. A couple of minutes after they had finished eating the waiter walked back over to their table with a plate of dessert and sat it down in front of Onyx. "I didn't order this." Onyx said as she pushed it away from her.  
The waiter smiled, "Don't worry it's on me."  
"Fuck yeah." Jake said as he pulled the plate towards him and began to eat it. Onyx started cracking up laughing and the waiter turned as strode away angrily.  
When Onyx stopped laughing she turned to face Jake. "Ok what's up with you?" She asked.  
"What do you mean?" Jake replied as he shoveled ice cream into his mouth.  
"It's just that you...didn't yell at him."  
Jake started to laugh, "yeah I know."  
"Its just weird."  
Jake dropped the spoon and rubbed his stomach, "I'm turning over a new leaf."  
"Oh really?"  
"You've been nothing but good to me. I think I owe it to you to start trusting you."  
Onyx's eyes widened, "Did they give you a whole new brain in rehab?"  
Jake laughed and put down money on the table. "Let's get out of here." Jake grabbed her hand and led her to the car.

Once they were home Jake led her to their bedroom and threw her onto the bed. He immediately pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his pants. Onyx rolled her eyes. "Always the gentlemen." She mumbled. Jake laughed and yanked her leggings off. He climbed over her and she put her hands up over head so Jake could remove her shirt. Jake removed her underwear and placed himself between her legs. Onyx moaned and arched her back as he pushed himself inside. He thrusted quickly in and out of her. The excitement of being back inside of Onyx was almost too much for him. After a few minutes Jake collapsed on top of her breathing heavily. When he regained his strength he rolled off of her and looked up at the ceiling. Onyx placed her head on his chest and drifted off to sleep.

Onyx had been able to keep his mind off of his father for most of the day but now that she was asleep his mind went right back to him. He would have given anything just to get to talk to him one more time. He would have even given anything just to get yelled at by him again. That night he dreamt of his father and all the things they had done together when he was younger, back when Jake cherished every moment with him because he was gone fishing so much. Back when the only thing they fought about was Jake not wanting him to leave. Things were good then. Jake had thought it was hard but he never would have guessed it would get harder as he grew up. He missed those times desperately, but when he woke up the next morning he didn't even remember dreaming about them.

Two days later Onyx and Jake both lay awake in bed, but didn't say anything to each other. It was the morning of Phil's funeral and they both knew it was going to be a long draining day. After a while Onyx finally got up and took a shower. When she finished she pulled on a shirt and leggings. "I'm going to go pick up your clothes from the dry cleaners." She mumbled. Jake nodded and rolled over so that his back was facing her. Onyx grabbed Jake's red hoodie and keys and headed out the front door. When she returned thirty minutes later Jake was still in bed. "Come on babe we have to get ready." Onyx said as she sat down beside him on the edge of the bed.  
"I'm not going." Jake replied.  
"Jake this is your chance to say goodbye."  
"Its... too hard Onyx."  
"I know." Onyx said as she ran her fingers through his hair, "but Josh needs you there. I need you there."  
After a few minutes Jake finally threw the blankets off of himself and stood up. Jake got into the shower and Onyx ironed his clothes for him. She pulled on a black blouse with leggings and black low top converse. She knew Phil wouldn't have wanted them to go over to the top. She applied red lipstick, but didn't attempt to do anything with her hair; even if she would have curled it it would have been stick straight by end of the day anyway. She couldn't believe she was getting ready to go to Phil's funeral. He was way too young to be gone already, and he was needed way too much. Onyx gave Jake a weak smile as he walked into the room wrapped in a towel. He attempted to smile back but it ended up more of a grimace.  
Onyx watched as Jake slowly got dressed. She could tell he was procrastinating. Finally Jake straightened his shirt and turned to her. "Are you ready?"  
Onyx closed her eyes she suddenly felt nauseous,"...yeah let's go." She managed to say.  
Jake narrowed his eyes slightly, "Are you ok?"  
"Yeah I'm f... I'm fine."  
"You don't look fine."  
"I'm fine I promi..."  
Onyx bolted into the bathroom and fell to her knees. She began to throw up and Jake rushed in behind her. He got on his knees and held her hair back as she continued to vomit into the toilet. When she finally stopped it took a moment to catch her breath. Jake rubbed her back, "Are you ok?"  
Onyx nodded," I guess I'm just anxious. Ill brush my teeth and then we can go."  
After brushing her teeth and re applying her lipstick they headed out the door.

Once they arrived and sat down Jake became completely silent. Onyx was holding his hand but he barely felt it. He cried silently into his lap. Everything suddenly felt way too real and he couldn't keep his eyes off of the menacing hole in the ground. The preacher droned on and on but Jake heard none of it. His eyes traveled from his crying brother, to all of Phil's crying friends, then finally to his crying wife. _'How could you leave pops?'_ He thought sadly, _I love you'. _

When the funeral was over Josh pulled Jake into a tight hug.  
"What do we do now man?" Jake cried.  
"We have to learn to run the boat dude. We have to do it for dad. It's his legacy." Josh replied, but Jake barely understood him because of how hard he was crying.  
Jake pulled away and nodded, "I just want him to be proud of us."  
"He was proud dude. We just have to keep making him proud."  
Jake smiled," Can you imagine us as captains?"  
Josh laughed, "I think our fighting is going to give Sig and Edgar a run for their money."  
"Probably, but maybe we'll get along like Andy and Johnathan."  
They both started laughing. "Yeah right." They said in unison.  
Josh patted his brother on the shoulder, "Call me later dude. We can talk and you know... hang out."  
Jake smiled, "For sure bro." He waved goodbye and then walked over to Onyx who was waiting for him by the car.

Two weeks later Onyx was hunched over the toilet and Jake was once again holding her hair back. When she finished Jake wiped her mouth with his sleeve. Onyx pushed him away from her, "that's gross Jacob."  
"Whatever. So you still think your fine?"  
"Yes." Onyx replied as she stood up and turned on the sink.  
"Onyx you've thrown up almost every day for two weeks."  
Onyx shrugged and began to brush her teeth.  
When she finished Jake grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the bathroom. "Where are we going?" She asked.  
"You'll see."  
"I'm not going to the doctor!" Onyx protested as she tried to pull her hand out of his grip.  
"We aren't going to the doctor." Jake said laughing. Onyx relaxed and let him pull her to the car. A few minutes later Jake pulled up at the drug store. "Wait here." Jake said as he unbuckled his seat belt.  
"Why?" Onyx asked but Jake had already stepped out of the car and strode away. A few minutes later Jake returned with a paper bag. "What's that?" Onyx asked as she reached for it. Jake held it out of her reach. "Why do you have to ask so many questions?" Onyx crossed her arms and pointedly looked in the opposite direction the whole way back to their apartment. "Real mature." Jake said laughing.

When they got back inside Jake walked straight to the bathroom, Onyx hurrying along behind him. "Now can I see what's in the bag?" Onyx asked. Jake reached into the bag and shoved the contents into her hand. "Pee on that." Jake said simply. "What the hell are you talking about?" Onyx replied as she looked down at her hand. Onyx's eyes widened when she saw that it was a pregnancy test. Onyx shook her head, "Jake you know that I can't..."  
"Yes I know that you can't get pregnant." Jake interrupted her," but I honestly think you are. You've been having a lot of mood swings and I mean **A LOT **of mood swings, you've been throwing up in the mornings, and I know you haven't gotten your period because you usually complain about it."  
"I don't complain about my period!" Onyx snapped.  
"Mood swings." Jake mumbled under his breath.  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "Jake I don't want you getting your hopes up. I don't know what is wrong with me but I can pretty much guarantee I'm not pregnant."  
"Please just pee on the stick. Is that to much to ask? If it comes out negative then it's no big deal."  
Onyx sighed in frustration, "I'm not peeing with you in here."  
Jake smiled and exited the bathroom.

Onyx sat on the bathroom counter waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. Jake had known for a long time that she couldn't get pregnant so she couldn't understand why he was making her do this. It wasn't that she wouldn't have liked to have Jake's baby, it would have been a dream come true but she had accepted long ago she would never be a mother.  
"I think it's been three minutes!" Jake called through the door.  
Onyx rolled her eyes and looked down at the test. "Oh my god!" She said as she dropped the test on the floor. Jake flung open the bathroom door. "What happened?" Jake asked. "It's positive." Onyx said in shock.

The next day Onyx and Jake were sitting in the doctors' office waiting for their names to be called so they could get the results of the pregnancy test the doctor had given her. Onyx was nervous but excitement was written all over Jake's face. She knew home pregnancy tests could be wrong and didn't want to let Jake down. She was sure the doctor was going to tell her she wasn't pregnant. She had been told since she was fifteen that she was never going to have kids. Plus she and Jake had unprotected sex for months and nothing had happened. Why would she get pregnant now?

After 45 minutes their names were called and they headed into one of the exam rooms. Jake paced the room making Onyx laugh. "Jake please calm down." Onyx pleaded.  
"I can't." He said as she continued to pace. A few minutes later the doctor came in and Jake stopped in his tracks.  
The doctor smiled, "Congratulations you're pregnant."  
"Bullshit!" Jake yelled excitedly.  
The doctor chuckled," Your about 9 weeks along."  
Onyx shook her head, "this is impossible."  
The doctor smiled. "I know about your condition Onyx and frankly I have no idea how you got pregnant."  
"It's because of all the hard work I put in." Jake interrupted.  
The doctor laughed and continued, "This is your one chance to have a baby. I can guarantee you won't get pregnant again. You're going to have to be extremely careful, and come in regularly for check ups."  
Onyx ran her fingers through her hair, "This is crazy."  
"This is a miracle." The doctor corrected her.

Onyx and Jake walked slowly to the car. Onyx was in shock but Jake looked like he wanted to do back flips. Once they were in the car Jake turned and looked at her, "Why aren't you happy?" He asked incredulously.  
"I am happy. I'm just shocked. How could this have happened?"  
Jake laughed, "Who cares how it happened I'm just glad it did."  
After a moment Onyx smiled, "Me too."  
Jake lent in and kissed her, "Pops would be so excited."  
"I know he would." Onyx said weakly.

When they got home they curled up on the couch and turned on a movie. Jake was rubbing her stomach, "I think I can feel him." He muttered.  
Onyx snorted, "What makes you think it's a boy?"  
"I can just tell."  
Onyx bit her lip and smiled, "if it is a boy...lets name him Phil."  
"I'd like that, and so would pops."  
Onyx soon fell asleep in his arms. Jake kissed her on the top of the head and rested his hand gently on her stomach. He hadn't thought it was possible to love Onyx any more than he already did, but finding out she was carrying his baby made him fall even harder for her. Up until that day he had considered the day he met Onyx the best day of his life but this day definitely tied. Finding out he was going to be a father didn't take away the pain of losing his and he wasn't sure anything ever would, but now he had something amazing to look forward to. Even though his baby would never meet him, he would definitely grow up knowing that his grandfather was a fishing legend, an extraordinary father, a best friend, and a life saver. Jake smiled and closed his eyes. Maybe things were finally falling into place.

_Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected  
And I can tell I've been moving in so slow  
Don't let it throw you off too far  
Cause I'll be running right behind you_

_Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)  
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this  
You're the only one I would take a shot on  
Keep me hanging on so contagiously_

_Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable  
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight  
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..  
To take a hold of you_

_Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)  
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this  
You're the only one I would take a shot on  
Keep me hanging on so contagiously_

_Oh you're everything I'm wanting  
Come to think of it, I'm aching  
On account of my transgression..  
Will you welcome this confession?_

_Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)  
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this  
You're the only one I would take a shot on  
Keep me hanging on so contagiously_

_Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)  
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this  
You're the only one I would take a shot on  
Keep me hanging on so contagiously_

**So contagious - the acceptance**

**THE END :).  
As always please review! I really want to know what everyone thinks! Especially now that the story is over :)  
Thanks for sticking with Onyx and Jake! :)**


End file.
